My words in the final posting in vanilla’s last thread were quite sharp; in retrospect, perhaps too sharp. Some of you have let me know this, publicly and privately, and I hope I have taken your counsel as it was intended.
Someone we had given many chances to straighten up and fly right kept cruising down the same sorry path, leaving management with little option as to what to do in response.
Other members of our community were incredibly nasty to an innocent party who had the misfortune to hold a differing point of view and wander in here looking after someone he considered a lost sheep in his flock, making us all look petty and mean – and worst of all, as tiny-souled and narrow-minded and bigoted as he was considered to be, making us no better, no better at all. It was not our finest moment.
These are not excuses; however, they are reasons, and I hope you see them as where I stood at the time.
We strive to moderate and administer with equanimity and calm, and mostly we make it. In righteous anger, I did go too far, and I apologize to vanilla and to the community for my intemperate remarks. I cannot apologize for what took me there – though I did apologize to the minister personally – but I wish I had been more thoughtful and less distressed.
All things considered, I don’t think you were at all too harsh or sharp in that final post. I think either people are a little too sensitive, or their personal feelings for vanilla make them biased.
Thank you, Tuba. If it’s any solace to you, only a couple of jerks pounced on the reverend. There were others who chastised them, and expressed the same surprise at the behavior that you expressed. As Gobear said there:
So, your example for us has been a good one overall. Good stuff runs downhill too. You slip up once in a blue moon, and that’s a lot better than most of the rest of us.
Don’t know if anyone else did, but I e-mailed the guy to apologise for the shabby way in which he was treated {I made it clear that I had no official standing whatsoever on these boards, and that it was purely a personal response}, and received a courteous reply.
Tuba, to come here and 'splain why you took the actions you did is commendable. It would be oh so easy to just do it and ignore any concerns. Thanks for giving a little back.
We love you, and FWIW I didn’t think you were out of line at all in your last post in Vanilla’s thread… sometimes a written spanking is in order (though I do hope that she will be allowed to come back, and I also hope that pastorjc will stay on and add to our community here).
Remember all, this message board, and indeed the entire internet!, is still a new media for all of us. The rules are even now being ironed out. Patience and understanding will be of great benefit to all while we adjust.
Count me in as one of the ones who didn’t think you were out of line, Tuba. It was harsh, but we are all human(I think). That you felt the need to apologize show you have class.
Some people just aren’t happy unless they’re complaining and this (unnecessary, in my opinion) apology reinforces and validates that behaviour
While I understand the rationale behind your making this apology, I don’t think it was warranted… what **vanilla **did was stupid and you rightfully called her on it as one of the senior administrators of this board.
I really wish you wouldn’t trivialize her apology by saying it was unnecessary. It wouldn’t be classy if it were unnecessary. She’s apologizing because she felt like she did something wrong, not to find out who’s fer her and who’s agin her.
As I said, I understand the rationale behind it, I just don’t agree with it and if posting to say as much is seen as saying I’m “fer her” or, to put it more plainly, sucking up, so be it.
I just wanted to add my appreciation for your apology, Tuba Diva. You really are a class act. I understand your frustration with vanilla, and with the way this board treated her pastor.
In my view this counts for much more then “mostly”. I seldom saw a moderator’s remark I couldn’t agree with or which made me wonder what happened.
I don’t know if you are Christian yourself.
If yes, then I think your anger is very understandable. One can say that it would have been more prudent to express that in a private mail, but that is only reasoning afterwords.
Being human is apology enough. Most people now and then make a post they would have written more thoughtful at an other moment. (Looking in dampish miror… See nothing… I must be completely innocent.)
In your case the sad thing is that posts made by a moderator or administrator have much more impact and weight then those of the average member.
It makes however your apology having equally much more impact and weight.
That you or an other administrator had sent an apology to the minister was something the members could suspect without having confirmation about it.
Salaam. A
If it’s any solace to you, only a couple of jerks pounced on the reverend. There were others who chastised them, and expressed the same surprise at the behavior that you expressed. As Gobear said there: