I can honestly say, if I ever wanted a true, honest opinion on something, Chiefie would be one of the first people I would ask. He is always up front and truthful, as is Sue.
Uh, FreakFreely, ChiefScott did nothing more than what tubagirl asked him to do, he gave his advice and his opinion. If you don’t like the words he used to do so, then that is your problem.
You yourself have used words that have offended others in expressing your own opinion.
I have been reading a lot of the posts since my first one and there is a real diverse opinion out there. I just want to say that I can sympathise with the need to feel attractive to others and the attraction to others. I know my man is atracted to other women, it is okay and natural as I am attracted to other men (especially the hunks here). It is natural to be curious and have confusing feelings. I can understand that some people think you have made a huge mistake, but I think you are human and are working through some of the feelings we have as humans.
I wonder if the parents of this loving couple will have to sign for them to get married? Maybe that is harsh for the guy since we haven’t heard from him but this tubawhatever strikes me as having the maturity of a fifteen year old. I would bet that if they go through with the marriage, some serious doubts will very soon creep in. The next step will be pregnancy to “hold the marriage together.” The step after that will be divorce, single parenthood and making up for the sex that was missed because of the marriage. For my money, she should call it off right now and go out and ball her brains out as I previously suggested.
Well, Chieffie may have worded things a BIT harsh. But I’ll second the sentiment that this shows great immaturity and a complete unreadiness for marriage (if that isn’t a word, it is now).
Not that that’s a BAD thing at nineteen - hell no! Lord knows what a complete moron and sleezebag I was at that age. And I’m glad I was! It taught me a great deal about myself, women, and relationships. I’m 27 now, and nowhere NEAR ready to marry. And I’ve been with my girlfriend for more than 2.5 years. And yes, we love each other very much.
Do the stupid things now, and the serious things when you’re ready for it. Which is anytime but now, tubagirl.
The difference is between saying something offensive, and something just that’s downright mean. Now, being mean can be good if you use it against someone who deserves it. I just don’t think tubagirl deserves it.
Ayesha, I’d also like to add that when I said something offensive you were quick to chastise me about it. And that was in the pit for chrissakes.
Can you guys stop arguing about what is mean and what is just offensive and help this poor girl?!? She obviously needs some guidence, we are supposed to be her friends. She asked for opinions, people gave them, now help her people!!
Nika, and everyone else for that matter, she had a dilemma, she doesn’t anymore. She’s made her decision. All that’s left is to congragulate her.
Been there.
Done that.
You ain’t ready for marriage. By a fucking LONG shot.
Gee Chief, I wondered why I always look forward to your posts. I agree with the sentiment. Masterfully stated.
Tuba, what were you thinking? You are one lucky SOB that chris didn’t drop you at once.
Try using that thing between your ears.
<shaking head>
-niggle
Ahh, but there is the rub FreakFreely, it is your ** opinion** that the Chief was mean.
It is his ** opinion ** that tubagirl acted like a slut.
They are both opinions, and you both have the right to them. Just as it is my ** opinion ** that the Chief did nothing wrong in saying what he said.
In the pit I was giving my opinion of what you said, which I found to be a horrible, mean and needlessly cruel thing to say. All things considered, I thought that I was really very nice, if you knew me better you would know my responses can be much, much hotter and nastier than that one was.
I don’t recall actually chastising you for it.
I mean I didn’t tell you to get squicked or anything now did I ? I am not trying to fight with you here, just to let you know what I think. I thought that this board was a place to exchange ideas, opinions and knowledge.
Freak…you know I love you, but I refuse to congratulate her. The fact that she considered this AT ALL shows some MASSIVE issues in the relationship.
Thank you very much ‘friends’. I started this message board because I liked the people posting. I brought this issue up because I was having questions and wanted objective opinions… But isnstead you make me cry.
I am not a slut, I have fucked one man in my whole life and those who call me that are insensitive oafs.
I am sitting here with my man and he is holding me because you people have been crueler than any one of my friends.
I asked for advice. I didn’t want you calling me names and branding me immature.
I have called off this whole hting not because of your opinions of me, but because I love Chris and don’t want to hurt him.
The incident last night stung him a bit but didn’t sway his love for me. Nor mine for him. I am going to marry him because he is the only man I want to live the rest of my life with.
I can definitly live without doing someone else. It isn’t going to be a hardship. My man [b[loves** me. I love him and that is all that matters.
I can’t believe that I came to this board to be helped but instead am bawling.
thank you very much for you insults.
Ayesha-
Yeah? Well my opinion is that your opinion should be more opinioning and less… no wait…
Ok, your opinion of my opinion is just an opinion so if I opinion that… crap, that’s not it…
One last time… Opinion schminion! Ah, much better.
You’re right Ayesha, you didn’t really chastise me much. But you did point out that it was needlessly cruel. Just like Chief’s statement was needlessly cruel. But I apologized.
I like Chief, his gruffness provides a good counter-point. However, sometimes he’s just plain cruel.
But that’s just my opinion.
C’mon tuba, you can’t have it both ways! You asked for advice, and you got it. And you should have known by now that the people here are quite vocal and explicit. Sure, one or two comments were out of line, but the majority was well-meant and intended to help you out.
FWIW, I do hope that you and Chris have a very happy marriage. It’s just that I don’t think you’re ready yet, based on the information in this thread. But I do hope you prove us all wrong.
All the best, dear.
Tuba you are posting to a group of many different aged people, most of whom are older than yourself and have experienced life and its “uglies”. I agree with Cold, if you didnt want answers you should not have asked. People on here come from all walks of life, some are married, some have never married and some have married multiple times.
All that aside, to me this was a moral issue. You are either commited to Chris and you will live happily ever after or you aren’t and you want more experience sexually before you make that final commitment. In my opinion, the fact that you entertained the thought to “fuck” someone else as you so eloquently use the word means that you are not ready for the sacred commitment of marriage.
Give it some thought before you dive in.
Well all of you have been wondering what Chris thinks of this situation. Some of you think that Tubagirl and I aren’t ready. You are all welcome to your oppinion(seems like a hotly debated subject 
), but for us I think it is going to be a very very long lasting relationship and marrage. I am of the nerdy silent type. By no means does that imply that tubagirl does what she wants and walks all over me. Society might judge that getting married at 19 and 20 is too soon, but I know of many marrages (my parents and many of her relatives in general) who were married young, younger that the two of us and have been together ever since.
Tubagirl asked for oppinions not judgements. Some of the things said were way too harsh. Did you even stop to think how guilty she felt after last night? She wasn’t even in control of the situation in the car, but I’m not saying she didn’t instigate it. Sexualy she is more experimental than I am and has a higher sex drive to boot. I am very comfortable with this and the reason I’m was ever intertaining this idea is that 20 years down the road I don’ t want her to have any regrets. True, according to the morals of our society, what she did seemed wrong so I’m not too suprised by many of the reactions. I love tubagirl more than anything else and we have a very deep trust between the two of us. She told me she would drop the whole thing. I don’t have any doubt left that she will go through with it, ever.
With that said, I’m looking forward to August 5th because I’m going to marry the woman I love and be with her the rest of my life.
I(love)tubagirl
Here’s my stick – now where’s that dead horse?
I’ve only (?) had sex with five different people. Wildly different people with varying degrees of experience.
Know what? Men and women have pretty much the same body parts. There wasn’t much of a difference. (Someone who’s had more partners might argue with my conclusion.)
If you’re worried about missing out on something by remaining faithful, maybe some instructional videos or books are in your future.
It sounds like neither of you has any particular hang-ups or bad experiences to color things – so you’re ahead of the game. Your sex life will be whatever you make of it.
Shoot, put a pirate hat on him once in awhile. Wear your French maid outfit. It could seem like you’re making love to a different person.
Best of luck to you and Chris!!
Maybe you are sitting there crying because the truth hurts. Why would it bother you that people that you don’t even know would respond to you by name calling unless you felt it may have been just a little bit justified? You explicitly defined how you felt when you got out of that car.
Chris is by far a very understanding person. From reading his post, he has a long road ahead of him.