If there’s one thing that never ceases to astound me about the human race, it’s the sheer variety of it. There is nothing so strange that it hasn’t already been conceived, masturbated to, and published on the web.
Although it’s not, technically, “slash” fiction, is it? Now, an erotic story about Jeff Lynne wrapping Roy Orbison in cling film, that would be bona fide. Not to mention hot hot hot!!! 
This is funny shit!
If you think that’s funny, check out his links page for other slash fiction. Among others:
Zoologists Slash:
David Attenborough/Johnny Morris
David Attenborough/baboon
Steve Irwin/crocodile
Uh…yeah. Whatever floats your boat, dude…
Fortunately these aren’t actually links–he claims that the authors are trying to find servers to host it.
What I like is the precise, straightforward way it’s told. Almost no hint of raunchiness. That, and the image of Roy Orbison saying, “That is a well-groomed terrapin,” and “What? What are you saying? Are you saying your terrapin should eat worms out of my dog’s ass?” :eek:
I like that the author gets right to the action without a lot of exposition. I always hate having to wade through long descriptions of characters and settings in a story just to get to the part where Roy Orbison gets wrapped in cling-film. This guy delivers exactly what he promises with no pretense or embellishment. You have to respect that.
I, too, enjoy the way it’s told. Very German somehow. Precise,almost delicate.
The “once and future link” that gets me hot is the Wittgenstein and Popper one. Actually, Wittgenstein and anyone would get me hot.
I, too, enjoy the way it’s told. Very German somehow. Precise,almost delicate.
The “once and future link” that gets me hot is the Wittgenstein and Popper one. Actually, Wittgenstein and anyone would get me hot.
Oh come on, people! I would have thought this thread would be completely irresistable! He want to wrap Roy Orbison in cling-film!!! This is comedy gold! Where’s the mockery? Are you people going soft or what?
Or is it just too easy?
This is by far one of the funniest things I’ve ever read. Ever.
Apparently, Germany takes the matter of terrapin custody very seriously.
I am surprised that nobody has said that Worms for Jetta would be a good band name…
I haven’t laughed this hard in weeks. Wasn’t this guy a guest on “Sprockets” once?
I’ve found a new sig…
From the ‘links’ section
Blair/Thatcher
(- Blair and Thatcher couple like stoats on the grave of Nye Bevan)
Judd/Purves/Singleton/Sticky-back plastic (V.hot)
I feel like my perversions are so vanilla now.
Ok if you go to his main page and then go to his links you find two links (one working and one broken) to Jin Wicked.
So maybe this guy isn’t so nuts after all.
I want that man’s babies just from his “Why I hate the Internet” page. Hysterical.
Heh. That cracked me up.
Poor Onan. Even in slash fic he’s left with only himself.
I’m dying here. That is the funniest thing that has ever been. Roy hopped out of the house wrapped in cling-wrap… they took his terrapin away… BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
You, sir, rock! Thank you.
LC
Aww, you mean it’s not real? I guess I’ve been whooshed. It doesn’t happen often, but when it does… whoo boy!. The stories are still hysterical. I know I’ll be reading the rest of this guy’s stuff at work on Monday.
I’m still wondering whether it’s real or not. Either it’s real and the guy archived it on his site because he thought it was hilarious, or he wrote it as a joke (thus making him a comic genius). But I really can’t get hung up on that, because, dear God, it’s Roy Orbison wrapped in clingfilm!