And the first winner of the Jack Dean Tyler Golden Foreskin award is....

Ladles and Jellyspoons, may I be the first to announce the new winner of the Jack Dean Tyler award for Recto-Cranial inversion?
To be awrded the coveted Golden Foreskin, it’s not enough to hold unpopular or even patently stupid positions. It’s not enough to be irritating. No, one must descend into the shadowy realms of lunacy propounded by the late, unlamented Jack Dean Tyler, who felt that the conspiracy to remove forskins would lead to global thermonuclear holocaust!

Tonight, we have a winner!

Beautiful Model person, the envelope please!

:: Rips open envelope ::

It’s Curious George!

Curious Gerorge, one of the infamous (and aptly named) Gang of Four has exceeded the bounds of insanity that can be expected on any message board. He’s even exceeded the high standards propounded by his cohorts in the Gang of Four with his masterpiece of paranoid delusions in which Curious proclaimed that the CIA let the WTC disaster happen because it would help Bush’s popularity ratings (over here)

CG, old bean, your buddies in the Gang have made some damned good attempts at lunacy (Chas E.'s insistance that President Bush faked his Texas accent because, apparently somehow a Texas accent is so beloved by all Americans that he knew it would win him the election came very close to winning) but that thread is so psychotic that only a true disciple of Jack Dean Tyler could have written it!

:: hands Curious George a the coveted Golden Foreskin award and a lifetime supply of Tug-Ahoys[sup]tm[/sup] ::

Since Curious George doesn’t visit the pit (since people who start Pit threads are as bad as the WTC terrorists), we hold it here in absentia for him!

CG, we are in awe of your grasp of issues, language, the nuances of politics and, above all, the sort of reasoned debate, as well as the wonderful example of obsessive psychosis that Jack Dean Tyler made famous! Let’s all give him a hand!

Fenris, MC of the first ever Golden Foreskin Awards


And well deserved it is.

Let’s not forget his inexplicable attempt to get us all not to donate blood (in ATMB, yet).

Oh, and Fenris?


I know it’s not nice to make fun of sick people, but goddamn if mental illness ain’t funny sometimes. Congrats, george!

[aside to the person next to me, while continuing to clap and smile]

Not only is this Fenris person not as good an emcee as Billy Crystal, he’s not even as good as Whoopie Goldberg.*

[/aside to the person next to me, while continuing to clap and smile]*

::stands up and applauds::

Hey, Fenris…is there a runner-up? You know how in beauty pagaents they always name a runner-up that will take over in case the winner is unable to perform his or her duties? Suppose lightning strieks curious george and he becomes clear-headed and rational? OIf this happens, obviously he will no longer be able to fulfill the prerequisites necessary for someone holding such a prestigious award.

What amazes me is how someone who has been registered here since April 1999 be such a moronic butt-nugget when it comes to how the forums work.

My personal favorite curious george quote:

“Curious” george, indeed. Here is someone who certainly cannot be bothered with the facts.

As for his lunatic opinions on President Bush and the possibilities behind the WTC attack, the chap needs to realize that “The X-Files” is an entertainment program, not a documentary. And that to suggest that our president would assist in the murder of thousands of innocent civilians in order to “help his presidency” is beneath contempt.

His head must hurt with all those inner demons shrieking at him 24/7.

::nods and smiles at Milossarian while silently thinking that he probably didn’t even notice the irony when Bush said the terrorists were out to get us because our leaders were "democratically elected::

Yay, Fenris!

Please, I beg of you, don’t associate foreskin with curious george.

I like foreskin.

curious george, not so much.

So please, if you have an ounce of compassion in you, do not ever mention the beautiful, sexy, scrumptious foreskin in the same sentence as, well, him (since I don’t want to break my own request).

Foreskin lovers the world over will thank you. And I thank you.

Jeg elsker dig, Thomas

What the heck is a tug-ahoy?

OK, that’s just a bit more than I needed to know.


OK. Just remember. You asked.


::wild aside, but I can’t help myself - ahem::

[overly-excited announcer voice]

Do you love foreskin, but don’t get enough in your diet? Try new Kellogg’s 'Skinnies! Fortified with 8 essential vitamins and minerals, including vitmans K and E! Yes, Kellogg’s 'Skinnies a part of your balanced breakfast that doesn’t go flaccid in milk!

[/overly-excited announcer voice]

Sorry, I just couldn’t help myself this time.

As for the OP, the only interaction I’ve had with curious george has been what I’ve red in the Pit over the past week. From what I’ve seen, a world class twit deserving of this award.


And one day, I shall learn to type correctly and to preview. Maybe.

So, Shayna reveals hints about some of her sexual dalliances… :wink:

Either that, or she’s revealed herself as JDT’s sock puppet… :wink:



Why you…

:: Fenris suddenly realizes who the second winner will be and starts jotting down notes! ::
:wink: :smiley:

Atreyu: Probably another member of The Gang of Four would be the runner up…Chas E., I think, given the tedious “El Presidente Jorge” ad infinitum, the “Bill Gates is Satan” threads AND the aforementioned Mind-Controlling Texan Drawl[sup]tm[/sup] discussion!

Shayna: Sorry, the award’s named in honor of it’s founder. Nothing else would be appropriate. But since this one’s made of gold, it doesn’t bear much in common with…<ahem> the real thing.

And somehow the “curious george, not so much” struck me as hysterical. Magnificent use of understatement. <applauds>


Good grief, Arden. The thing actually has a rod inserted into the person’s, ahem, “old man?”

For that, you must ask someone to describe the “Ream & Scream” examination to you. I can’t because I’m about to pass out–all the blood has stopped circulating because my legs are crossed in a death lock.

I had not read that thread on why the call for blood was unnecessary.

Excuse me while I go bang my head against a wall. It gets the bad things out.

Not necessary, Monty. I’ve heard of that procedure.


curious george named himself after a monkey–this was a pretty good indication that logic wasn’t gonna be his strong point. He is a well-deserving recipient of this award, despite the stiff competition.