One doesn’t work in this office, so I hardly ever see him. The other wasn’t in today. But she was so drunk…I don’t know if her memory is to be trusted!
Regarding the sausages…they were casually mentioned but not in a “go get you some sausages!” way. It was more like the husband was saying he could have grilled more, since he did have some left in the fridge. I didn’t actually look in the refrigerator to confirm because that seems kind of forward to me. Also, while I was hungry, I wasn’t hungry enough to fire up a grill.
That’s the rudest, stupidest party I’ve ever heard of. I would cross her off my party list permanently, as either guest or host. And you don’t have to produce any reason for declining future invitations beyond “I’m sorry, I have other plans.”
Besides, while I’m a big fan of party games, “scavenger hunt” really isn’t the right way to cater a house warming.
Velma- “Look! Twisting this lamp moves the bookcase…!”
Shaggy- “Zoinks! That bowl still has three triskets & a wheat-thin left!”
Scooby- munch “Hee-HEE-Hee-Hee-Hee-Hee-Hee!”
Honestly, if one of my coworkers asked me to come to a birthday party for her husband, who I didn’t know, my immediate reaction would be, “I’m busy.”
What an odd, awkward situation. I mean, even serving Dr. Pepper is odd. If you’re going to serve just two types of soda, there’s an unwritten rule that it’s Pepsi and Diet Coke.
Yes, absolutely - the usual phrase is “evening reception” and a time will be clearly stated (say, 7pm - to allow plenty of time for the main meal and speeches to finish). It is expected that some food will be provided gratis, drinks are usually on you as the guest. My wife and I recently received a wedding invitation from a friend of hers where she is invited to the whole thing, and I am only invited for the evening. I am in no way offended by this - weddings are expensive to host!
I may or may not have depending on how well I knew the coworker prior, how cranky I was feeling that day, and how hungry/thirsty I was. However, I definitely would have aired grievances if she started to give me shit about “only” drinking Dr. Pepper the Monday after - and not very politely at that.
The whole point of wedding gifts is that two young people are just starting out their lives and the cost of setting up a whole new household is exorbitant. Thus, their friends and family get together to each contribute a little to the cause and make it less financially painful.
These days I see most people getting married at an age where they both have their own household set up and they are already going to have to throw shit out just to make room for each other. Why the hell do they need more crap/cash? Annoys me.
You need to stand the hell up. You are getting walked over by being too quiet. This would be the perfect time to have said, “Oh? None of us from the office were able to find anything to eat. Was all the extra food on a table off in some other room?”
How is she going to be a less shitty hostess in the future if she doesn’t know she is a shitty hostess now?
Do they at least clean up the dishes? When we did it, we did it in three completely different locations so no one felt we were rubbing their noses in "some people got steak and some people got hors d’oeuvres.
I guess I am officially old; in my day (cackling) we didn’t host a party or a wedding and invite people we could not afford to feed! We had only the parties we could pay for!! Now get off my lawn.
Yeah, this. I wouldn’t have minded if she’d invited us to come over later, after the first party was over and they’d had a chance to clean up. The way it was done, I felt like we’d arrived late to something–which is something a punctual person like me hates. And I’m sure that’s how we appeared to the attendees present. Like a bunch of johnny-come-latelies. It was an awkward feeling.
Holy shit, this reminds me why I never carpool if I can help it - I have to be able to escape when crap like this happens. Unbelievably rude, and to keep talking about it and picking on you afterward just makes it worse.
This is the most unanimous thread I can remember reading in quite a while.
Absolutely not normal, and also rude!
To me there’s a difference between a coworker and “my friend from work.” Right now I work alone and so currently have neither, but do remember what it was like. I’d be surprised to be invited to a friend from work’s husband’s birthday party unless I’d socialized with both of them.
In your place I’d wish I had the nerve to steal something from her house, like an ashtray or a deck of cards, not an iPad. You brought two gifts and didn’t even get cake? The mind reels.
I’m trying very hard to give her the benefit of the doubt. Maybe she intended to save the cake until you’d all arrived but Aunt Eunice wanted cake now! so she didn’t feel as if she had a choice. I’m a people pleaser, I’d cave to Aunt Eunice’s demands. But I’d also send my sister to Safeway for another cake.
This is a good point. The OP should have said something. If not during the party (E.g., “Where’s the food?”) then the next day at work when the co-worker complained of too many leftovers (“Wait, there were leftovers? I didn’t see any food anywhere.”).
I see what ya’ll are saying, but I don’t know how I could do this without hurting her feelings. And since she’s the type to cry at her desk all day long over hurt feelings (she really is this sensitive), I don’t think this is wise workplace behavior.
I should have said something at the party though. I could have said, “OK. Enough chitchat. I’m hungry. Can you point me to some grub?” I was too passive and polite. My only excuse is that the awkward entrance made me unsure of the proper protocol.
I’m 100% Dutch and know exactly the kind of do you are talking about. Awful. The Dutch are also famous for offering one biscuit then closing the tin to prevent anyone having - gasp - a second biscuit.
Currently I am living in Italy. Here in the north, food is already highly unlikely to run out. However, in the south I think people would spontaneously combust out of sheer embarrassment were they in the host’s position in the situation described by the OP.
