Another MPSIMS sob story.

(I was going to put the following in this thread, but my post turned into a hijack so I decided to make it a separate thread.)

This semester was awful for me. I had to drop all but one of my classes (would’ve had unacceptable grades) except for one general ed, and am lucky if I scored a C in that one. Financial aid never kicked in and I lost my job twice; I just paid rent with a payday loan, and my bank snuck fees I couldn’t afford into the loan when it was too late for me to find another option. I don’t want to think about what I have to do to both buy textbooks and eat next semester. I’ve moved twice this semester, started and ended the same emotionally intense relationship several times, and became involved with another girl who would later turn out to be somewhere between a high-level superclinger and a low-level stalker. I’ve lost most of my friends; most of those have shown their colors as backstabbers, while others simply don’t return my phone calls anymore. I’ve embarrassed myself in the depths I’ve sank to in my sexual frustration. I seem to have lost my ability to communicate effectively and hold my own in a conversation; every conversation I have lately is stilted and awkward, like back in elementary school when I was a lifeless nerd. Even my MB posts cause massive confusion. I recently reaggravated an old basketball injury and my blood pressure is up due to a combination of increased ramen intake and misplaced medication. My roommates from my last place stuck me with a power bill I can’t possibly pay off; by an amazing coincidence they’re too busy to answer the phone every time I call. Only one of them pays rent at his new place–the one I’m not expecting payment from, because he covered me on other bills–while the others have moved back in with their parents rent-free and are still gainfully employed. And are doing well in school. And own multiple sets of clothes that fit, which is more than I can say for myself. But they still can’t cough up their fair share of a power bill. It’s probably going into collections soon, like the high-interest credit card I maxed out buying gasoline and staple food.

I wish my academic achievement were my biggest problem.

Some universities have interest-free hardship loans from their financial aid office? I had to get one several years back to pay the rent, and it was an exrtaordinarily easy process.


I don’t have any good advice or silly platitudes to offer, beyond good luck - I hope things get better for you soon.

College sucks. There is the academic element, but there is also the assumption that all students are upper-middle-class with family support.

Does your university have a student advocacy group? They may be able to help you or provide resources. Also, if there is a church or spiritual organization you trust, you can ask them for assistance.

Good luck to you. Hang in there! :slight_smile:

Knowing nothing about you except what you posted, I’m going to make my universal fix-all suggestion. One of my sons followed this advice and is greatly relieved and happy that he did (for he was choking on a similar plate of troubles at the time.) The other son married a woman with more ambition than Donald Trump and two college degrees – and I’m assuming that option isn’t open to you.

My advice: Enlist. Seriously. Not in the Marine Corps or the Army, fer chrissake, you’ll get your ass shot off. I recommend the Navy (but not as a corpsman, because you’ll be assigned to a Marine unit and get your ass shot off.)

From a financial standpoint, you can’t lose. While you are in the Navy, you are protected by the Soldier’s and Sailor’s Relief Act, which basically puts you off-limits to creditors and gives you time to straighten out your finances. You’ll be able to put money away against college and, when your enlistment is up, Uncle Sam will help you pay for college and guarantee your student loans. And, you’ll get a better student loan rate as a vet than other students.

Emotionally, it’ll help you find the good, strong man who lives inside you. You’ll learn excellent, healthy coping skills; you’ll learn how to set goals and motivate yourself. You will actually change into a different person – and if you’re already pretty level-headed, you will change into the person you want to become.

Physically – well, this may be a sticking point. You mentioned medication, but not what it’s for. If it’s a minor thing (allergies, mild asthma, stuff like that) you may be able to get a waiver. One thing’s for sure – they’ll never feed you Ramen noodles aboard ship!

Downside? Yep, there’s a downside. You will discover that there are ways to be fucked over that you never dreamed possible. You will be forced to show respect for arrogant assholes who don’t know their brains from a pile of shit. You will work harder and hurt more than you ever thought possible. Forget all that “see the world” bullshit. If you’re lucky, you’ll manage to get drunk and pay for sex in three or four ports of call a year. If you’re a typical American male, you’ll get hauled before the captain’s mast at least once during your enlistment, and it’ll be the scariest fucking thing to ever happen to you – but you won’t go to jail.

When it’s over, you’ll be ready to start all over again with college. You’ll be wiser, more focused and more self-confident than any other time in your life. You won’t care about banging the coeds or surfing the porn sites because you’ll be in your late twenties, the clock will be ticking, and you’ll be eager to get your life started. Girls won’t be attracted to you, but women will be.

Take the shortest enlistment you can. Don’t do delayed-entry, don’t worry about job skills – hell, be a deck ape on an aircraft carrier if you have to. Just get in, do the job, get out and get on with your life.

I know, you’ll probably shake your head and silently tell me to go fuck myself. My son did, too, at first. But military service was the best thing that ever happened to me, and it’s launched my otherwise hopeless offspring on a life arc he can be proud of.

Think about it. That’s all, just think about it.

Sunrazor brings about a valid point. The military, assuming you get yourself put into a non-combat situation, has quite a few benefits. I think the “safest” branch of the military to go into at this point is the US Air Force, but the Navy seems pretty safe. Army, too, as long as you’re not infantry or special operations. Anyway, the military is a back-up option. You don’t get paid a lot but they teach you so much, and stuff like lodging is taken care of - you won’t find a solider, sailor, marine or airman who is homeless and currently in the service. I believe they have three-year enlistments.

If you’re going to college for something in particular, look into it that way - oftentimes the military will train you in your chosen career path, and then you don’t even need to go to college. It’s worth, I think, a second thought - assuming you can pass the health and mental health evalulations, and assuming you’ve never been convicted of anything major.

Anyway, good luck, and keep your chin up. I’m going through a similar situation right now, and it’s starting to look a lot brighter recently.


Having bot a military and a civilian career under my belt, I’d like to point out that there are far more A-holes and screw jobs in civilian life than you’ll ever find in the military. Having said that, I think Sunrazor’s suggestion is a good one, consider it seriously, you will do a lot of maturing in 3-4 years of military life.

Already tried that, which is part of what makes my financial aid picture so complicated.

I wish I’d had that attitude back when I enlisted.