whooooo!!! And I thought I was antisocial!
If I say I have a boyfriend, it means I have a boyfriend.
It does not mean fuck off and die… My God!
Then, shit, I had better go back to How-to-be-a-Girl school or whereverthefuck you learn this crap, cos I was never taught it!
No, he wasn’t.
Kept at what? Chating and making jokes? Oh, the horror.
no, it’s not. At all. not in the slightest.
You are taking the situation of the OP and shaping it into an ax for you to grind, even though its nothing but a pudding spoon.
He asked for her number, she said she had a boyfriend. He made a lighthearted joke. she kept talking and flirting with him, so he chanced his arm again at the end of the night for a phone number, and she gave it to him.
At no point did she say “no, I’m not interested.” In fact, her continuing over-attention she was paying him would give an average man with a few beers down his neck the idea to have another chance at her number. No harm, no foul.
At no point did he behave in any way threatening to her.
It’s perfectly understandable that women can be on their guard in modern society, but the amount of people riding into this thread on their high horse makes it look like a set from “Charge of the Light Brigade”.
Sorry for the lack of responses to this. I didn’t even realize anyone was replying to the thread - I guess I missed the check box or something.
Thanks to the person who e-mailed me telling me to get in here and defend myself. I will, but I’m very busy today. It’ll happen, tho.
-Joe
It’s plenty different, but the same rule still applies. I spend much of my time in bars and am really close friends with the owners and many regulars of the various joints. Most of em have a rule against intra-staff dating. Not that it works, people still hook up (lots), but they typically try to keep it from the owners. No one wants a waitress or bartender crying in the middle of a shift when the relationship explodes. Some owners of these places even go so far as to tell the waitresses that their boyfriends/girlfriends cannot hang out and drink while they are working (not that this is legal). Same reason. Another reason is that they don’t want to deal with jealous people starting trouble. A cute and flirty staff is good for business. Fights aren’t.
My point is that I’ve spent lots and lots of time at bars, clubs, and after-hours joints myself. The dynamics are certainly different from my day job at a bank, but the “hands off the staff” rule still applies. Hell, I’d never even THINK of hitting on anyone at my day job. I was thinking strictly of the service industry when I made those comments.
Now, all that said, rules are made to be broken, and 2 of these owner guys just got married to women who were once waitresses for them, so it shows how much they follow their own rules. It does happen, and the results aren’t always bad, but they definitely can be. Such behaivior is discouraged at all the places in which I hang out, but, human nature is hard to resist.
Well, what about church/bible study?
:snicker:
DaLovin’ Dj
**Pricegiy[B/]:
Just because you are suck at the clever part doesn’t mean everybody else should.
I have no interest in getting into a pissing match with you. TwistofFate summed up some of my thoughts nicely. You’re not worth the time it takes to take your posts paragraph by paragraph. I do find your atitude demeaning to women. It is flatering to show interest in someone and the waitress should have shown some respect for that. A simple “no” works well enough. Apparently Guin agrees with you. Good for you. I understand this gives you “victory”, so be it.
Sorry for mispeling your name and sorry for the bad coding. I previewed. :mad:
That’s exactly what it was. Like I said, standard response #117.
**
And now I’m beginning to suspect there’s a psychic on the board. The whole point there being that I tried, got shot down, and that’s that. Now she’ll do the standard thing of smiling, bringing the drinks, and getting on with her night while I get on with mine.
**
It IS Jeanne Dixon.
That’s really the whole thing. If she hadn’t kept sitting down and all that, it would have been the standard waitress/customer relationship. But once she kept it up, I figured, *hell, maybe I **do *have a shot there. May as well try.
**
Exactly. Put down a ‘555’ number. Make it 911. Say you’d rather be eaten alive by Gummi Bears. But come on, a number?
On the positive side, it was apparently her roomate’s psycho boyfriend who called me back.
Then again, from the story I was told last night, the only way her life could get more tragic right now would be if her dog got hit by a bulldozer.
-Joe
A pyrrhic victory is still a victory, right?
Right?
Sigh.
-Joe (toss a chimp on the barbie)
Ooohhh. You talked to her some more? Will you give the details? Seems like she gave you her real number. That doesn’t sound like someone who isn’t interested to me. The question is what, exactly, is she interested in: You, or stirring some shit up with her SO? Sounds like a fiesty one. Watch yourself. My father used to say “Women can get you into more trouble in 10 minutes then you can get ou of in 10 years.” Not the most progressive attitude, but a decent warning nonetheless . . .
Then I don’t understand why you keep posting.
Jeez, that was witty and original! Never in my life have I been so thoroughly destroyed by an opponent in a debate! I utterly yield to you, Pedro.
Yes, we men that take no for an answer are really horrible. I understand women hate it when men listen to them.
“I have a boyfriend”. Translation: “no”.
Guin, Bren_Cameron, Jaade, CanvasShoes, Cerri, Lissa, pepperlandgirl, alice_in_wonderland, Zoe, Ferret Herder… all women (I believe), all agreeing with me. I’m open to correction; if any women out there want drunk guys to keep hitting on them after they’ve said no, speak up.
As for Merijeek, after re-reading the original post I realise that I was a bit harsh. The waitress did sit down with them and chat, which might make a joshing phone number question socially acceptable (hard for me to say; I wasn’t there). So this particular situation may not have been particularly heinous. Doesn’t change that no means, or should mean, no.
Like yosemitebabe said, that’s what I thought that had happened too. My vote still goes to nice guy.
This one’s a keeper too. You should post more often Merrijeek.
Priceguy:
Because I had just replied to another post addressed to me and I didn’t reply to yours. But generaly I just ignore those sentences that I find amusing.
First those were not the words she used. Second: translation? :rolleyes: Didn’t you just say you listened to them? It must be complicated some times keeping track of all the codewords. Third, he wasn’t abusive, rude or threatening. And she kept sitting down to chat.
Heinous? Hehe! There’s your problem right there, you said it yourself, you’re not even a woman and you are offended. You’re so wound up in your sophisticated ideals that you completely lost the middle ground. Don’t confuse persistence with aggressiveness.
Neither her words nor her actions said no, and as it happened, he had accepted that she didn’t want to giver him her number, but her continued flirting with him may have weaken his impression of what she actually meant. I guess its convient for you to ignore her behaviour and her actions, but facts mean nothing if they disrupt your charge, right?
Codewords? Pedro, if stupidity were money Bill Gates would be your butler.
“How about a date some day?”
“I don’t think my boyfriend would like that.”
If you see that as code… I really don’t know what to say to you.
As for the rest of your post, you grasped at a couple of straws and hoped no-one would notice that you came up short. Nice try. You still haven’t addressed the fact that virtually every woman who’s posted to this thread has agreed with me, which gives my argument a certain amount of weight, even if you pretend that it doesn’t. Also, “sophisticated” is usually something you want to say about yourself, not your opponents. It’s not an insult, as you seem to think.
By the way, why are you still in this “pissing match” with me?
On preview: TwistOfFate, I have acknowledged that this particular situation may not have been particularly heinous. The general attitude of not taking no for an answer is still utterly assholicious for several reasons. And yes, her words did say no.
No, they didn’t.
you keep using the word “heinous” as if his actions were in someway damaging. They weren’t in the slightest.
Quite right, I already said all that I wanted to say. I didn’t mean to criticise your ideals. It’s quite nice that you’re not “pushy” but you just went overboard. It was just a jab because of your caveman comment, such clever lines are beneath you but then again obviously your talents lay somewhere else other than playful chat with women. I will read the female posts you mention more carefuly, I just skimmed them before.
Gah! Do women not speak English? ‘No’ means no. ‘I have a boyfriend’ means that the speaker has a boyfriend. There is a difference between these two sentiments.
Ladies, is it truly so hard to say what you mean?
TwistOfFate, I said that this particular situation was not particularly heinous. Not. NOT.
dalovindj and robertliguori, “I don’t think my boyfriend would like that” means no. How much clearer can it be? She’s trying to let you down easy. Return the favour and take the hint.
“Aren’t you the guy who was stalking Lynda Carter?”
“I believe the term is ‘courting’. The restraining order says ‘no, no’, but the eyes say ‘yes, yes’.”
Pedro, I notice the thinly veiled jab, but since I do not rest my manhood on my ability to bullshit women into bed, I don’t mind.
In all fairness, it is understandable that in certain circumstances (such as a waitress being nice for tips), and in circumstances for women (and men) to avoid escallating a situation. Tact is a wonderful quality.
However, from the OP’s outlining of the situation, it would appear that it wasn’t a “no means no” situation.
A thought occurred to me. If the waitress was pissed off at her roommate, and wanted to get her in trouble, could she have used the oppertunity presented to get the roommate in trouble with her boyfriend, she could have given the OP her friends name and her number, so that when he rang looking for her and got the boyfriend, it would create a situation.
Just a wild conspiracy theory.