Q: What is the skankiest thing ever grown on a human?
A: The day after
Q: And when did you realize she was your long lost sister?
A: More than you can shake a stick at.
Q: What phrase equally applies to Anna Nicole & Oprah Winfrey?
A: Duct tape, Raisinets, and Marv Albert (YESSS!!!)
Q: What 3 things are perverted survivalist moviegoing Montana NBA fans fond of saying?
A: A plastic cup
Q: What did Robocop wear underneath his uniform trousers?
A: Pee Wee Herman, the Pocket Fisherman, and Viagra.
Q: What do you want for Christmas?
A: Vegetable lasagna
Q: What do you call a truckload of produce spilled along the highway?
A: Replace the Spandex!
Q: What can I do for poor circulation?
A: You must not touch the purple gorilla.
Q: What’s always-relevant advice for any reality show participant?
A: 138.
Q: How many times have you seen J. Low’s name today?
A: Wilted, just like old celery.
Q: Hey! How’s that old celery holding up?
A: No you fool, a capital B!
Q: Mr. Gore, do you put the b in boring?
A: Hula Hoop and a grape Nehi.
Q: So what did they find when they went through the dead man’s closet?
A: Zippy Salutes Pin-Up Girls
What are the door prizes at the dopefest?
You can’t put that thing there!
For IThinkNot
What movie did you see last night?
I can get it done in ten working days.
Q Can you make a pot of coffee?
A I only have three days to get it done.
Q: What did Michael Jackson’s makeup artist say about getting him ready for his “rebuttal” special?
A: The Great Blizzard of '03.
q: why is there no salt on these french fries?
a: but i have two.
Q: What was Pamela Anderson’s answer in the Celebrity Breast Counting Challenge?
A: Bill Clinton’s Oval Office tapes
q: You want fries with that?
a: But if feeeellllsss ssssooooooo gooooooodddddd!