Q: What did the Moderator say when asked “Why don’t you stop feltching Goats”
A: “I have never done that in my life, all those alligations are false”
Q: What was J. Lo’s response to her taking acting lessons?
A: Kevin Smith’s Left Eyebrow
A: Kevin Smith’s Left Eyebrow **
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Q: What is that thing growing under yo mamma’s nose?
A: A dustbuster
Q: What did Ben Affleck like to lick befor he weant out with J.Lo?
A: The holes found in toilet stall walls.
A: Mommy, what are glory holes?
Q: yes, but only on weekends for large amounts of money.
Q: Antonio Banderas, do you actually SLEEP with Melanie Griffith?
A: Same to you, and twice on Sundays.
Q: Did you realize that I want your body now?
A: Chicken of the Sea
Q: What does a manta ray taste like?
A: The Mason-Dixon Line.
Q: (directed to Jacques Chirac:) So, at what line in the sand will we finally say that Iraq has gone too far?
A: The trees have wings! And they’re dancing a tango!
Q: Are you on acid?
A: Saran Wrap and a couple of fried eggs.
Q: What did you have for breakfast?
(Hey, it’s not my fault lieu eats strange things!)
A: I think so, but I left my datebook on the train.
Q: Can we have sex again soon?
A: Three nickles and a Gerber daisy.
Q: How much for one night with your wife, Robert Redford/Demi Moore style?
A: Okay, but only if you stand on your head.
Q: Would you like to see me naked?
A: Only if you shave all your pubic hair off.
Q: Would you like to go meet my parents?
A: That was yesterday. It’ll be more today.
Didn’t I see that on sale?
Dyed to match shoes.
Q: Why is Kelly Osbourne’s hair red and black?
A: A cockatiel whistling Dixie
Q; What is making that noise in the cage behind you?
A: “Let me itroduce you to my maiden aunt”
Dude, like you know any chicks I can score with?
They do make the disposable kind as well.
Q: Do you like my 18th century leather condom.
A: I got it especially for your birthday