Q: Have you ever fellated a Smurf?
A: If you bend over it’s easier to see.
Q: How can I find Uranus with this telescope?
A: It looks like the Pope’s hat.
Q: “J’Lo, How would you discribe Ben Afflick’s penis”
A: Purple with a big kink.
Q: How would you describe what shot Monica?
A: It was an ancient Chinese secret.
Q: Why couldn’t you tell me before about how you stuffed the papers in those yucky cookies?
A: 4 litres of motor oil, 2 decks of cards, and Coldfire.
Q: What do you need to make Canasta more interesting?
A: Take all your clothes off, and paint your arse red.
Q. Doctor how can I prevent jock itch?
A. Especially when I use two fingers.
Q: Do you find finger sandwiches filling?
A: Beet red and twice as happy.
Q. How did Britney Spears look after returning from a private meeting with Michelle Branch?
A. NOOOOOO!!!
Q: What did the Cow say when Britney asked for a quick beef rug munch?
A: It was just a dumb animal.
Q: I can’t believe what you did to that rabid infection-carrying AIDS monkey! What’s your excuse?
A: Nineteen people were crushed to death because of it!
Q: Why was justhink’s mechanical suicide machine considered a success?
A: People thought he was mad, but it wasn’t true.
Why did he suddenly leave the room?
That’s his wife over there talking to his boyfriend.
Q: Have Tom Cruise’s guests arrived at the party?
A: They are the ones wearing hula skirts and coconut bras.
Which table are the dopers sitting at?
They’re over there playing strip dominoes.
Q: And where are the Moderators?
A: The land of the fairies.
Q: Wait… I have to go where to return this item?
A: Because God wills it.
Q: Why shouldn’t I masturbate?
A: You could poke an eye out with that thing
Q: Could you describe Michael Jackson’s penis?
A: Rode hard and put away wet.
How do I feel after a session with the bf?
A buck-thirty in change and a bottle of Pepsi blue.