Q: How much do you want to bet on Oozing Mucus to win the Derby?
A: I was stuck in the dryer.
Q: Did you freak after your first wet dream?
A: An epileptic snow angel.
What is that wierd shaped snow sculpture in your yard?
An impressionistic rendition of Gay Day at Disneyworld.
Q: “Mr. President, How would you best describe the European Union?”
A: A chimp’s tea party
Q. Whats more fun than a barrel of monkeys?
A. And then he ate it.
Q: What happened to the Chocolate Cigar after Monaca finished with it.
A: It was put back in the wrapper.
Q: What happened to Michael Jackson’s most recent nose?
A: I would tell you, but then I’d have to kill you.
Q: How does the Old Testament differ from the New?
A: There’s cat barf in your sock drawer.
Q: Did you get me a Valentine’s Day present?
A: Is that dangerous?
Q: How can you tell that your pussy is unwell
A: It smells like fish, and leaves a sticky trail.
Q: So, how did Jason appear in the latest Friday the 13th movie?
A: And THAT’S why I’m not pet-sitting for you any more!
– GrizzRich please don’t start your answers with and, it doesn’t work.
Q: Why is my prize winning Feltching Goat grinning from ear to ear? You did give it all the straw that it needs?
A: Yes, but now I can’t sit down comfortably.
Did you get your botox butt injection today?
These jeans make my ass look big.
Q: So, why do you think you lost the presidential election?
A: I tried to fix it with chewing gum and staples.
Why is the SDMB hampster walking funny?
Scylla’sgoat is loose again.
Q: Why does everyone look so scared?
A: President Bush had Dick removed.
Q: How does Laura find time to read?
A: First a trickle, then a flood.
Q: So what effects did you suffer when you ran out of Immodium?
A: A bucket of popcorn chicken, the three little pigs, and a Kenny G cd.
Q: How do people entertain themselves ‘down South’?
A: “A Mitsubishi Vibrator allways hits the spot”
What does Janet Reno do for fun?
The all star Women’s NBA team.