The day I decide to voluntarily jump out of a perfectly good airplane with a parachute on my back is the day I want you to have me committed to the funny farm.
I’m going out soon. I’ll pick you up one if they’re on sale.
Yes, this is my crappy apartment. On the other hand, it’s also really cramped.
Off the top of my head, the only thing I can think of that we’re out of would be bread.
I’ve got an idea for a new one, if my timing is correct.
Nothing much; just watched the SNL monologue and went to bed immediately afterwards.
You cannot blame her for your behavior.
He played either Frankenstein or Wolfman in some old black and white movie. I honestly don’t remember which one.
Honestly, there’s no need to bring up that old crap at a time like this.
I really don’t know what you’re talking about.
No, they didn’t have any. I’ll try a different place tomorrow.
I already tried that, and it still hurts.
I tell you that I followed and understand the situation completely, and am aware of all the variables and I still don’t get it.
It’s text you the recipe later.
No, thanks. We won’t be staying long.
Rather than using either mayonnaise or Miracle Whip, I’m combining equal parts of each.
If I can find time in my schedule, sure.
I can’t tomorrow. How about never. Is never good for you?
Well, since I procrastinated so much yesterday, I’ll have to try to do everything today.
I’ve already got Orson Bean scheduled to be the keynote speaker that afternoon. No need to invite any more celebrities.