I was wondering what was going on your end and thought I might have scared you off with my similarly lengthy reply or just sheer boredom at my life. Glad to see it’s just normal awkwardness and nothing more insidious.
I hope that doesn’t mean how it reads. 
I will send out emails to my chosen ones and reply to those who have selected me-just gimme a few days.I’m moving house on Thursday so I’ll wait till after the weekend when everything’s all delivered safely and then I can concentrate on my hordes of teeming admirers
Nobody loves me 
(except you faithfool!)
I’m off on a week-long holiday, and I’m hoping to see at least one email in my inbox when I get back… Otherwise I shall be forced to resort to a mail-bombing campaign!
I’ve sent out emails to Faithfool, [B}LifeOnWry**, Captain Roscoe, Lillyofthevalley, and Gouda. I am really enjoying the chance to get to know people better from the SDMB! If anyone else wants to write, feel free to!
I’ve been picked. I’m kind of feeling the same way as Harimad-sol.
Ok - Now I need to take the shrink wrap off of mine to see these names!
Weebl and Bob don’t do it for me either but I love Eddie Izzard. My friend introduced us to his videos and now we have them all. I am still disappointed that he was touring the US and was in town and I couldn’t go because I was recovering from surgery.
I’m not in my jammies today!!! I was able to get dressed like a normal person!
Repeat after me.
Size does not matter.
Size does not matter.
Size does not matter.
Size does not matter.
Size does not matter.
Size does not matter.
Size does not matter.
Size does not matter.
Size does not matter.
Size does not matter.
Size does not matter.
Size does not matter.
Size does not matter.
Size does not matter.
Size does not matter.
Size does not matter.
That better be true!
SIZE DOES NOT MATTER. (Except in some things. Wha? :D)
Class, you may read on ahead now.
Wow! What a busy little hive this has been since I last sent out my summons. Lessee… A recap is in order, huh? I’m going to try to sort this out and not make my eyeballs go the same way as my lunch yesterday.
::: puts on monocle :::
Some beginners to say “HI! Welcome to E-Pal (not so)Anonymous!!” to:
[ul]
li Girl From Mars[/li][li]jujitsuka (hurumph – can’t do anything with this one because I have no idea what it means)[/li][li]caballo_loco (if you truly are kookoo, can all the voices in my head say “Greetings! Happy to have you in the fold!”?[/li][/ul]
Those scallywags (I’ve always wanted to say that – fun!) that are NO longer MIA:
[ul]
[li]Ms. Snappity[/li][li]tanookie (does that have anything to do with, well, nookie? :D) [/li][li]the pretty LilyoftheValley[/li][li]NinjaChick (who hasn’t emailed me back – I took a shower before I sent that) [/li][li]Iceland_Blue (see above ::: growl ::: )[/li][li]gouda (I started to say, with that disclaimer… what am I, chopped liver?? :p) [/li][li]and our first guest! grettle[/li][/ul]
Now listen up my friends! Go forth (out into the world? ::: shudder ::: ) and find the errant among us. Bind them, then drag them back here and proceed to spank their hineys with wet noodles until they TELL US WHAT THEY’RE DOING IT. Who are they?; you ask ever so lady- and gentleman- like. Rejoice! For I am here to tell you.
Go whip 'em and say I mandated it. 
Those that have NOT REPORTED IN (I love all caps!):
[ul]
[li]DeadlyAccurate (you can do all your killin’ in here)[/li][li]monica (who I wanted to use that whine on from “The Brady Bunch,” but that was Marsha)[/li][li]Madd Maxx (Thunderdome needs you!)[/li][li]Roland Orzabal (who apparently has many clamoring for his attention – Please, don’t shun your fellow Dopers. [end of PSA])[/li][li]NotNow (yes, NOW! :D) [/li][li]Maxxxie (Any relation to that there guy up above a few?)[/li][li]MissTake (nope, 'twas not – we need you here ::: cries ::: )[/li][li]fishcheer15 (sorry chap, I liked you so much I saw double)[/li][li]Jennyrosity (with one of the coolest names evah, U H@^3 2 <0^^3 *@<|<!11)[/li][li]scr4 (um… I’m at a loss. I got nada. Sorry.) [/li][li]Wesley Clark (Are you out scoring more free milkshakes?)[/ul][/li]Tell them, if they do not meet me at the edge of town before sundown, pistolas drawn, I will continue to make horrible jokes about their usernames and paint their puppies pink. Yeah, that’ll have 'em running in here faster than me running from that ““There is no God.” is an opinion” thread.
I’m sure everyone is screaming that I’m out of funnies, so stop. (Alright, you all were saying that before I even started, but it’s my story and I can have where I look like Mulan if I want – because the other Disney chicks are just too girlie) But alas, don’t despair. I will utter one last (BWAHAHAHA!) parting shot (and no, not at me)…
I have observed three things from this particular post (amazing that):
[ol]
[li]Is that 1337 $|>3@|< hurts!!11111!! (and it takes too many of these "|"s)[/li][li]I am more goofy than the cartoon dog (So I knew that since I was three and a half. You can’t make me stoooop. Nyah, nyah. – Maybe I should’ve used this one first.) [/li][li]This thing has more bullet points than all of Madonna’s bras put together. :eek:[/ol] [/li]Saranara (?), my faithfools (I couldn’t fight. temptation.), until we see the whites of our eyes in that will-be-famous shoot-out
P.S. (You knew there’d be one, right?) Bambi hasn’t shown up personally to let us in on his gig, but does seem to have been snagged a time or four. Can you give us a shout out, friend? And although I received an email from Ichini Sanshigo, it wasn’t to say yay or nay. So, that county needs to be heard from too. Plus, I feel really, really, reallyreally bad for having left you off my last first list. Speak up. We can’t hear you both. Gracias. To the rest of ya… get these and the new suckers going. It’s the least we can do if they’re for our next sacrifice. The volcano is ready.
You’re not. I’m just really, incredibly lazy and am not answering emails as promptly as I should.
Reporting in, as requested. I’ve received faithfool’s email, which I will eventually reply to (hey! I did point out that I am a terrible correspondent). No-one else loves me! Actually, I’m not really bothered by that (see my point about being a terrible correspondent). Also, I am no relation to Madd Maxx, for those of you who were wondering
Max.
Why didn’t I get a form letter faithfool?
Alright, already! I’ve e-mailed faithfool and waffled on about a lot of nothing in particular. Can I go out and play now, please miss? 
No worries Maxxxie. I’m sure my robust style of writing will make up for every- /any- one else’s slack. But what I really wanted ::: stomps feet ::: is what I’m getting… a head count.
< insert excited sound here >
Wesley honey, probably because your email wasn’t listed in your profile. I missed (I’m sooooo sorry! I love each one of you all the same. Well, maybe not, but I won’t tell unless someone pays me 16.46 cents in pennies. Don’t ask.) more than one that way and only figured it out by scanning the thread. However, this must be, on a small scale, how Shirley felt when organized the Secret Santa this year. Oh my! :eek: Please be patient with me. I’m definitely human on Tuesdays. However, I will ship it out tonight via UPS Express. That good enough for ya, Mr. Milkshake Man?
Also, before my senility kicks in and I forget, the prodigal child Jennyrosity has checked in. She will get the royal ‘slap-on-the-wrist-with-cashmere-cotton-ball’ treatment as soon as I can get another off eBay. The Queen must shop frugally as well. 
Or just feign not being addicted. Ew, twelve steps!
[On preview: Why yes you can, but keep the above incident to yourself -and- feed your little brother that Goldfish. Don’t dawdle. I mean it or I’ll call the DiscoServent after you. We know you do NOT want that.]
I have received three emails, all of which I intend to reply to at length (heh) at such time as I get more than five minutes at home. I keep getting phone calls from/having to go meet with various people from the Air Force, who have taken, shall we say, an active interest in recruiting yours truly, though I am unsure as to why. Kinda makes me a little paranoid, honestly.
Anyway, thanks to those who’ve written, and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible.
Like always / Wie immer / Como siempre.
I’ve been exchanging with Harimad, Aesiron, and fishcheer15, and am waiting on a response from monica.
And I probably think that I’ll not be able to write back and forth more than once a week or so, now that the semester has started.
No problem, Aesiron. Although I do look forward to chatting more, I have found someone else (Emperor Penguin, specifically) to musically enlighten
I experienced a similar thing in my senior year of high school, except that it involved the Army. As I am probably far from the ideal candidate for them, and always have been, I found amusing in the extreme.
Wait, so does that mean my musical tastes pass muster?
That’s a first.
Bambi, you flirt you. Doitsomemoredoitsomemoredoitdoitpuleeeeeze!
Who is left on/off the list to nag:
(People, we are waiting on you. The bus is ready to leave and if we have to stand at the end of the line for The Comet and then not get to see Vince Neil do The Chicken Dance, we’re gonna have plenty of unhappy campers, or cappy hampers to you, on our hands. So, speed it up!)
[ul]
[li]DeadlyAccurate[/li][li]monica[/li][li]Madd Maxx[/li][li]NotNow[/li][li]Ichini Sanshigo[/li][li]MissTake[/li][li]scr4[/li][li]Girl From Mars[/li][li]jujitsuka[/li][li]caballo_loco[/li][/ul]
Everyone has reported in that they’ve mailed someone, someone’s mailing them back or they’re waiting to hear. Eh, sounds like Post Office to me. When do we get to play Spin-the-Bottle? Out of the above group, monica seems to be popular, although absent. And my fellow e-pal-ers who like to do this lots and lots and lots some more, please make certain that we show them the welcome wagon. I’m specifically talking about Girl From Mars, jujitsuka and caballo_loco since they were the last people to join and the ones will toast first.
I’m glad to see all you stragglers that have f-i-n-a-l-l-y bother to show up. Uh huh. The only requirements left, besides lasting love and compliments for yours truly (I mean, I am way far putting myself on the line to be funny, decidedly because I’m not – hello?), are to post back here if you pick somebody off of The List and they reply. Send them too and we’ll feed them cake. Hahahaha.
::: evil grin :::
That way, we’ll know if anyone has been missed or if it’s because one of us has garlic breath or really bad toejam. Damn, that makes me want some jelly. But I digress, again, and the only thing left to say is to Wesley… INCOMING! and my buddies that are special to me (well, you all are, but you step-children know what I meant), I’ll be typing out more epics tonight, no matter how long it takes me. BACK UP YOUR HARD DRIVE THIS VERY INSTANCE!! I will not be responsible if I crater anyone’s system.
Yes, there was a form filled out. And a notory. And plenty of official ink!
~ever faithfool to my newest, most wonderfulest, coolest friends(est)
Just an update…
I have more e-pals then sand in the hour glass of time (always wanted to say that), so for anyone out there who has written but not heard back from me yet, I say PLEASE be patient. Sending gifts is still good to get you moved to the head of the line though.
And also so you’ll know, but I’m sure you never would have guessed :p, my old friends didn’t call what I sent anything so simple as a note, line or message. Oh no. They called them “bombs.” So be prepared to be faithfooly bombed. Hopefooly soon.
I think I should have everyone caught up within a week and at best, I hope to get one a week written to each and everyone of my captive audience.
::: cue villain music :::
If there’s still anyone out there who hasn’t heard from anyone else or is still interested, post it here please. Right now my inbox is so full I can hardly find the link to get there. Oh, and if you’re writing back to me, for the love of my poor hamsters, by all means take your time. That way I’m at least only working on the same set at the same time instead of having mailed one unsuspecting person four times and only starting on the first of another.
Thanks everyone for participating, helping out and being patient. I’m glad we’re doing this.
/End of usual ramble. For now.