It is definately a short story being 3 pages long. I want some honest critiquing. If you are interested, post here and I will send it to you.
sure send me it. My husband and I both read the stuff and we love to write short stuff.
I’d like to give it a look as well, fair warning though, I can be a real bas*ard when ic comes to commenting on literature.
I forwarded it off to you CaptMurdock. Sock Monkey won’t be getting it anytime soon unless he posts an email address where I can mail it.
As it stands now, I haven’t edited it for grammar yet so anything along that line would be good. Also, please point out any hole that I can close up to make it a nice succinct little story.
OK.
At the moment, the email linked to by the SDMB works. But hurry, or it may lapse again.
Foolsguinea, it is on its way. CaptMurdock, the email attached to your profile bounced back.
If anyone posts after this, I will send them the story close to 10pm eastern.
Send it on over. My SDMB email should work (I get subscribed thread messages).
You can send it to me at sf_writer@yahoo.com.
Be forwarned – I critique at a pro level (I write SF profesionally). I’m not a bastard, but I will point out what is wrong with it.
Ok, everyone before RealityChuck should have it save for Sock Monkey who has no email on his profile. I am just writing this for fun and it was my first lapse into Sci Fi. Be as brutal as you want. Point out plotholes (it is a short story…3 pages), etc. Thanks for looking into it. If I do anything particularly well or particularly bad, please point those out too.
Thanks again.
Mine is vdgg@bol.com.br and if you’d send it to me I’d like to read it.
I’d also like a peek at it; I’m a 40-year SF fan and a newspaper copy editor by profession, though I’ll try not to criticize lapses from AP style.
Let’s go, I love sci-fi 
green_bladder@yahoo.com (if it isn’t on my profile)
Oops, my fault.
stick17man@yahoo.com
Please send it to me; I’d love to read it. You can email me via my profile.
I’d also very much like to read it, please.
pandelume@mail.utexas.edu
I would love to read it if you would like to email me:
I can’t promise a wonderfully insightful critique but I’ll do my best.
CaptMurdock, that email still didn’t work.
Everyone up to Rythefly has been sent a copy.
Can you add me to the list of curious. Thanks.
E-mail in profile.