“I’m 8 inches deep” usually makes men walk away blushing and mumbling.
I used to occasionally get hits on a personals site from guys who had been kind enough to specify their dimensions in their profiles. My responsive was typically “You already have a love object. Apparently it’s N inches long and M inches wide!” Funny, I never heard from any of those guys again…
That’s exactly my response to anyone’s inappropriate bragging about anything. The best way to impart your true message is to raise your eyebrows slightly and blink quickly while saying it in an exceptionally flat tone of voice.
“That’s…interesting” is also an option, said in the same way. Immediately after saying either of those things, it’s also appropriate to look around as if searching for someone who might take you away and then to wander off.
I’ve used this response on a couple of occasions:
“Really? Can you stick it up your own ass?”
No means he’s lying; Yes means…
“If you don’t know you’re a man by the time you’re (braggart’s age,) then driving a (braggart’s car) and bragging about your shlong ain’t gonna help.” If he knew, he wouldn’t be bragging.
Uh… you actually say that? I mean it was stupid when it became a tired, old cliché 50 years ago… I had no idea anyone was lame enough to still use that one.
I usually tell them that my dick is only 3".
::: Pause:::
Then I add
But some girls like them thick
Shuts them up every time.