A friend and I shared notes recently and we both agreed that the overweight women we’ve met tended be more expressive about their sexuality. They were more likely to share details about their sex lives (sometimes it’s solo.) At a gathering of online forum members (Arstechnica,) I met someone known for being very open and flirtatious. She shared lots of details about her collection of sex toys and how often she masturbates. I was not surprised when she turned out to be quite a bit overweight. The question is why?
I’m not sure how much this matters, but in my opinion - several very attractive women haven’t really tried hard at sex. Women who are less attractive than this seem to put more effort into it. Not a perfect correlation by any means, but it’s there IMHO.
Supply and Demand. Overweight people don’t get it as often, so they value it more.
I predict this thread will end well.
Q: Why are heavy set women good at oral sex?
A: Because they have to be.
I’ve not seen any evidence that overweight women are any more sexually liberal than a gal with a more healthy weight.
I think that if there is truth to the idea that bigger girls are less inhibited sexually, it’s not because of their weight but rather that it goes hand-in-hand with it. People who tend to enjoy “pleasure” more tend to seek it out in various form, including eating, drinking, maybe drugs, and also sex.
I’ve dated normal to moderately heavy women and never seen evidence of this as a tendency related to weight. Sexual expressiveness tends to be be highly individualized. If anything I would probably expect higher degrees of sexual inhibition in women dealing with body image issues.
So no if you are looking for it to be some sort of rule or tendency.
There are two ways to look at it
First - yes it’s possible that overweight women (of which I am one) may feel that they might need to compensate for their less favored appearance with a broad and enthusiastic repertoire.
Or perhaps it is that those skinny girls are too weak with hunger to do much but just lie there.
What I actually believe is that it’s too broad a generalization and more than anything I agree with Shakes and Ibanez.
The desire to have sex and or please a partner IME has pretty much zero to do with weight. I have had more than my share of intimate partners, the second best and the worst of my experiences were with women of the same build (around 5’ tall and 175lbs). Granted the handful of hot by hollywood standards women I have been with have all been nice, but below average in my experience.
Folks need to realize we are also dealing with hundreds of variables in experience, muscle tone, body fit, penis size, strength, endurance, sensitivity, variations in body structure, and emotional makeup. When many of those variables line up, we have mind blowing sex.
You also run into the awesome for one but not both scenarios. I have one lady friend who claims I am the most amazing thing ever in bed, and I believe her experiences with me are epic for her, but for me its maybe 65th percentile.
At the same time, one woman I dated, 45 min of oral might manage to get one orgasm out of her and PIV sex of any kind with me just could not do it for her. She claims its her not me and she has always been this way, but it was just soul crushing having a partner who I adored in so many ways, but just could not please sexually.
I’m not sure it’s a very significant trend, but a couple of the larger girls I’ve been involved with were a bit lacking in self-esteem so perhaps over-egged the pudding a touch, sexually. Similarly, I’ve no doubt tried various things to compensate for my scrawniness.
Theres too many variables to work out a direct correlation. Maybe some overweight women are more sexual to compensate for their appearance, but in the same vein, maybe attractive but dumb/antisocial/insecure women do the same kind of compensation. The only generalization you can make is that SOME people occasionally compensate for some flaw by being less inhibited sexually.
I’ve met some overweight women who, at first glance seemed to fit the stereotype in the OP, but in getting to know them it turned out they were some that were fine with their bodies, or compensating for something unrelated to their appearance.
I’ve always felt that the randiest are the slight flat chested girls. : pervert
Another thing is that more attractive women who carry on in this manner in mixed company quickly find themselves recipients of vast amounts of unwanted attention, and usually decide against doing so again. Unattractive women doing the same will mostly be greeted with averted eyes and nervous jokes; perhaps slightly uncomfortable, but not as traumatic as being pinned down and groped in the coatroom.
Haven’t you ever heard the expression “Fat chicks try harder”?
I think as a fat chick I do try harder. I’m definitely what Dan Savage calls a GGG (Good, Giving and Game).
But I also make sure not to go as far as the woman described in the OP - describing toys and masturbation techniques - because I don’t want to come off as a “typical fat chick who tries too hard.” That and I do not like discussing such things with random people. Ick.
Then again I don’t know if I am more GGG than a thin girl. I’ve never lived the sex life of a thin girl.
This is true.
It’s a lust issue.
teach me obi wan.
These aren’t spheroids you’re looking for. <wave>
The quoted experience sounds fairly average for an adult woman. I recall a statistic (which could be bullshit) that only 30% of women are even physiologically capable of having orgasms during PIV. If almost 100% of your sex partners have orgasms during PIV alone, then you’re either incredibly lucky, have a penis of the gods, or (more likely) some of them were faking. The majority of women require lots of intent clitoral stimulation (whether oral or manual) to have an orgasm, and never have orgasms during PIV alone. (thank you, Dr. Drew!)
Moreover, an inability to orgasm during PIV does not entail a lack of sexual satisfaction on her part. It sounds more like YOU weren’t satisfied because she wasn’t orgasming multiple times with only your dick. It’s understandable that you might have felt inadequate if the sex you had with her wasn’t as good as the sex you’re used to having. But phrasing her sexual experiences as substandard, when it’s quite average, indicates your view is pretty skewed.