Can PUSSY CLEAN MONITOR?
'Cuz that’s what I’m needing right about now.
damn… I should know by now NOT to drink while reading the SDMB
Here you are: PUSSY CLEAN MONITOR. Possibly SFW. 
Good lord, danceswithcats, where did you find that? Out of context, it would be highly amusing, but in context, I was laughing so hard I could hardly breath.
Okay, I don’t know much about Thai bar girls/dancers/what have you. I do know a little about eggs, though. After you’ve gotten someone to try unsuccessfully to break an egg with one hand, just do something that will put a tiny little crack anywhere in the shell–smack it on a pointy surface out of view, jab a tack into it, whatever. It will break easily and at will, and no one in the audience will be able to see the microscopic crack you put in it. And I bet Thai bar girls have all sorts of ways to divert your attention while they fracture the egg.
Be sure to read** Bangkok Eight** and Bangkok Tattoo, and not just for its setting in Thai sex trade. Great books, I learned a lot.
Oops, Bangkok 8, not Bangkok Eight. Btw the full Thai name for Bangkok has about eleventy-nine letters in it, and none of them spell Bangkok.
Don’t leave us hanging. Tell is if you now have an ELECTRIC PUSSY.
Um…I have no idea why you’re asking me that, nor what it has to do with the books I recommended.
Probably a cybertypo.
Oh I see, wrong reply button.
I thought maybe it was a replacement line for “so…how you doin’?”
I don’t think so. It was a perfectly valid response in the context of this thread. Considering that you neglected to tell us anything about those books other than their titles, you and only you can tell us whether it was an especially relevant response.
I attended a traveling show while it was in town. It was put on exclusive by former (and current, one guesses) members of the sex worker industry.
One such woman on stage had been told by her doctor at a young age (eight or nine?) to exercise the muscles used in micturation and voiding urine. I believe this was because the young girl had problems leaking. She was given an exercise regimen of clenching those muscles a certain number of times daily, several times a day.
Unfortunately, so her story went, the doctor never told her to stop doing the exercises, and years later she began to realize what she could use them for.
I could never verify if her story was correct. I’m tossing this out there just in case any valiant Doper women wish to… er… conduct some research on behalf of the SDMB. 
Wait, it’s supposed to be impossible to break an egg with one hand?
I just tried it: I put an egg in my hand and clenched my fist. It gave a surprising amount of resistance, but then BANG! It exploded and got raw egg all over my kitchen sink, wall, and cabinet. I don’t think I want to try it a second time, and I neglected to get it on camera, but I do have a witness.
Does it have to be a certain kind of egg?
It’s not supposed to be impossible, just very dificult. When you clench your fist around an egg, the shape distributes the pressure. This means that most people cannot break an egg this way. However, if you forget to take of rings, have strong enough hands, or fall into various other categories then you can do it. Years ago when I first read this fun science fact, the whole family tried it. My bubby, could break an egg in one hand. Her opinion was that her hand no longer applied even pressure due to arthritis and other ailments.
Yes. The joke’s not funny anymore after you explain it.
Just wanted to jump on and say that the Google ad has totally given up, and is just shilling for Hurricane Relief.
PUSSY BUILD HOUSE
PUSSY SWEEP STREET
PUSSY FIX LEVEE
"That giant sucking sound you hear… "
I think I should point out that it’s not as if observers of the egg “trick” are being suckered in any particular way. It isn’t presented as a feat of strength so much as a sort of feat of… a sort of agility I suppose. A precision of muscle tone. No one said it was a magic show.
Altered egg or not it’s not any less interesting to observe.
I’m trying to picture the ever-cynical, ever-guarded Doper watching the letter trick and the liquid tricks and the blowgun dart and ping pong stuff, then seeing the egg routine and saying “The egg is clearly altered! What a rip-off - I’m outta here!!!”
Clearly you missed the barkers for
Pussy saw woman in half
Pussy unlink rings
Pussy pen through card
Pussy levitate woman
and of course
Hey Rocky, wanna watch me pull a rabbit out of my pussy?"
I wrote that they were both set in the Thai sex trade and that I learned a lot from them. Not wanting to hijack the thread, I left it up to people to check it out online if it interested them. Not sure why that invited the response, but whatever.
note to self: don’t recommend books on SMDB
My kids told me I couldn’t crush an egg that way, so we did an experiment.
The kids thought it was pretty dang funny when the contents of the eggs shot out to the left and the right all over the walls, microwave, telephone, etc.