Are there men who are not into casual sex?

An acquaintance told me about a sex ed video she watched about a social experiment where an above average looking man and woman went into a bar, and both of them propositioned several people to have sex with no strings attached in a van in the parking lot of the bar. The conclusion was that all the men propositioned for sex said yes, and all the women said no. Some of the women were offended and threw their drinks in the guy’s face. Of course, this was just an experiment so no one actually had sex.

Are there guys out there who would say no in this situation, assuming the person who asked you was physically attractive to you, and you were not already in a committed relationship? If so why? Women feel free to comment as well on this matter; I don’t want to discriminate. Please also state your gender and sexual orientation.

I am a hetero male, and I would absolutely say no. I would say no even if it was a famous celebrity I found attractive. I just dont see the allure of having sex with a stranger, to say nothing of the fact that you have no idea about their sexual history. Plus, if some woman were asking me as a complete stranger to have sex with her, my first thought would be that she was either out of her mind, or extremely promiscuous, and neither one of those scenarios is even remotely sexy or compelling.

I’d probably say no though mostly on safety grounds. How do I know there’s not some 300 pound dude sitting in the back of this van with a chloroform soaked rag? This is such an unusual occurrence, I’d suspect SOMETHING was up. How do I know she’s not going to scream “rape” in the morning?

So some woman out of the blue, I would probably turn her down. That’s not to say I would do the same maybe to someone I knew a little better who I knew was just wanting a temporary thing.

If not in a relationship already, I would totally go for it. One of my main regrets from my high school/college years is that I didn’t ever do anything wild like that, and I’d see it as a chance to check it off my list of ‘stuff to do before I die’.

Dude, that "experiment " took place in a bar! What did you expect?

Anyway, there’s no chance I would say yes, no matter who the female was. Been there done that, happily married with kids right now. There’s no way I’d go back to the old lifestyle.

Odds are really high that this would set off all sorts of “something isn’t right here” alarms in my head and I would say no.

Now if I’d seen the woman around, maybe exchanged a word or two with her before - basically if I was even slightly familiar with her - I might say yes, depending on certain other factors.

But “random female walks in, walks right up to ME and propositions me for sex in a van out back” sounds seriously suspicious.

Hetero (at least in theory) male.

I’d say no. I don’t think I could have sex with someone I didn’t know well enough to talk about sex with.

Not that I’m advocating that position, it’s just who I am.

They went up to people, offered them sex, found out who said yes, and then backed out of the offer? That’s downright rude.

The scenario depicted sounds suspicious indeed. I’d suspect an ulterior motive; most likely robbery.

I did see this video myself. I can’t for the life of me remember where. And I do remember basically every guy the woman asked saying yes. But that could just be because of editing. They just didn’t show any of the men who refused. I realize it was filmed in a bar, but I still find it hard to believe that EVERY man they asked would be willing to have sex with a complete stranger, hot or not. There had to have been at least a few who said no way.

My husband, who is 24 and straight, has no interest whatsoever in casual sex. He doesn’t even like porn, or posters of hot chicks. It baffles me, too.

Addressing the specifics of the “experiment” referenced here, kind of dodges the question. Granted the OP didn’t present the logically sterile question needed for them to get an honest answer.

Answering the direct OP, I would say yes. There are men who are not into casual sex. I’m one of 'em.

Concoct any situation where casual sex is a likely outcome, and I’m likely to abstain. Fucking any girl that’s willing, isn’t what I aim for. Sex is awesome, but I’m not going to let the feeling of “busting a nut” dictate how I treat, view, and interact with women.

To me, casual sex is not much more than a couple of dogs fucking in the alley. Except, the dogs are actually attempting procreation, humans just like to get off. I have no problems with getting off, I just think that finding someone whose sole purpose is to facilitate cumming, is just as useful as whatever latex interface that one might use.

Sex as an activity or diversion seems to be a really good time-killer to me. I’m all about it. Interest and intent are two different words though.

The chance would be a (very) fine thing, and then I’d say no.

However, considering my life of pretty much no sex at all, it’s probably not a typical example.

If a girl just walked right up to me and asked me for sex I’d be suspicious to say the least. Is there a guy in the van waiting to give me a Columbian Necktie?

Probably they said yes because the presence of a cameraman meant that it was some kind of stupid TV show and they could get some money out of it.

A completely strange woman comes up to me and says she wants to have sex in a van in the parking lot? C’mon.


For one, I’m a virgin, and I’d like to lose it with someone I trust.

Secondly, if a random woman is asking ME of all people to have sex with her, I’m going to assume that her number or prior sex partners is astronomical, so I’ll go ahead and politely refuse that offer.

Except dogs and other animals don’t know they’re procreating. They don’t have the self-awareness and ability to connect events with future consequences that humans do. Humans are the only species who have figured out that sex=babies.

Yes, but the OP is about casual sex, i.e. recreational fucking. Animals fuck because it feels good, and seems natural.

Humans do that too, but there’s a social component there. Casual sex means, sex for the pleasure aspect alone. It implies a lack of monogamy.

In real-life actual practice my behavioral pattern is rather staid and confined to ongoing relationships. But I am going to attribute a heck of a lot of that to my abhorrence for the gender-specific sexual roles in the established flirting game. The OP says I get propositioned. Depending on how she does that, I suspect I could very well end up taking her hand and agreeably following her to the trailer.

I am convinced I have the makings of a real slut if given the chance.

I’m a 31 year old hetero male, already been married and divorced, and casual sex is about the only kind of sex I’m interested in at the moment. So I think I would say yes.

Believe it or not, there are some guys who have little interest in casual sex. I know this for a fact because I’m one of them. I have no problem with other people doing it, it’s just not my thing. I need to be in some kind of relationship before I feel comfortable enough for sex.

So if I’d been one of the guys in that experiment, I would’ve politely declined, even if I found the woman attractive. But then I don’t go to bars, so it’s likely I’d never end up in a situation like that.