What about female-only levels in parking ramps that have brighter lighting than the other levels? What about designated pregnant woman-only parking spaces at shopping malls?
Another reason not to change it might be that there are definite ebbs and flows to the business days of gas stations. In the morning and at night, as people go to and fro to work, they reach a peak.
Women with small childredn typically go out between these times and need gas during these off peak hours.
In other words, as far as the attendant can tell, women want full service typically at times when he’s not busy. He know his business day pretty well, and can decide that providing it to these particular customers isn’t onerous, but it would be unworkable if he just extended it generally.
Therefore, he defines his policy as accurately, succinctly, and as perfectly as he can based on his knowledge.
And, if you think about, he’s done an exceptional job. He’s defined the needs of his market segments and measured them against practicality and come up with a perfect solution (probably without thinking about it too much.)
What possible good could ignorant meddling in an excellent system like this have?
That’s farm country, so it’s probably just out of politeness on his part. On the other hand, it’s not far from Tinker, so it may be a safety issue. Tinker is pretty laid back, as far as bases go, but it still is the military.
You did say you have almost become friends with the gentleman; that should tell you something about his reasoning. If it really bothers you, ask him if he’d modify it.
My SO is a feminist, a wiccan, and 12 years my junior. She used to resist my natural tendency to open doors, etc., now she just finds it cute. It’s because she understands why I do it, and has seen me in action enough to know that it’s true. I did date a girl once who was downright offended if I offered to walk her to her door after a date. She and I didn’t date very long. 
Granted, but why should this guy seek to provide a service to a market segment that doesn’t exist, particularly when doing so may have an effect on an existing market?
If enough men wathcn the kid during the day, and want full service, they’ll get it. Until they do why provide an unneeded service?
Women’s safety in urban areas, and particularly within parking garages is a serious and valid issue.
As for the latter, you trying lugging a fetus around while it kicks at your bladder, while your hands are full of shopping bags, and you have to waddle half a mile like that to find your car.
It’s a needed and appreciated service.
A woman is not handicapped when she’s pregnant. It’s a natural thing you know.
However, she may be at a disadvantage, and not as capable as she otherwise might be.
I seem to be the explainer of the obvious today.
“I seem to be the explainer of the obvious today.”
And you’re doing a very good job of it, Scylla.
Keep it up. I’m enjoying myself. 
You seem to be missing the point here. Your explanation of why he has this policy does not hold water, not at this particular station. The attendant is standing there in the middle of the 3 pumps all day. There would be no reason for any woman to waken a sleeping child, make a child get up from their seat or any of these things for her to pump her own gas. The women just pull up, sit in their cars, and wait for him to come over to them, take their money and pump their gas. He can be in the middle of pumping for someone else, and they just sit there, when they could easily get out and do it themselves. They are perpetuating the stereotype that they are lazy, incapable, or just too damned stupid to take their own gas cap off. The policy is there strictly because the owner of the store has incredibly old fashioned notions. It is not because he is trying to be extra sensitive to the plight of women with children. I know him, you do not, so do not assume something you do not know. I have no intention of asking him to change the policy, or, as I mentioned earlier, of even telling him what I think of it. That does not mean that I approve of it.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Scylla *
**
Does it have to be one way or the other? Demand followed service, or service creating demand? Can’t this meet half-way?
If the gas station lets it be known that they are also happy to accomodate unescorted fathers with chilren, then they might find more fathers who appreciate this service and thus frequent the gas station more often.
I believe you said that you look for full service when you are driving with your child. Why should the gas station wait for you to demand such service, when they could just as easily add it to their features? It’s not as if they have to hire another attendant. Presumably it’s the same guy who would be pumping gas for the unescorted mother. I doubt the station would even have to retrain him. Perhaps some fathers who have not given this as much thought as you have would realize it’s much easier to go to the father-friendly gas station. Win-win.
You said it might have an effect on an existing market, but I imagine it having a positive effect, or zero effect. Since the expense would be pretty close to zero (new sign?), what is the possible negative effect on the market?
That said, I still think the intent of the sign is a combination of parenting issues, safety issues, and a [courteous or condescending, depending on one’s view] attitude about women pumping their own gas.
Well, now that we’ve heard from on high, I guess we should just close the thread.
Why are you so close-minded about this man?
Why are you so hostile?
Why are you so intolerant?
Really, the so-called “incredibly old fashioned notions” include things like: respect for all women, good manners, hospitality, etc.
Remarkably, they usually don’t include ramming your politcal agenda down someone else’s throat. Granted you haven’t actually spoken to him about it, but that’s what it feels like from reading your posts.
I think it’s wonderful that people still offer service to others. I think that kind of behavior should be encouraged and lauded, not ridiculed. I doubt he thinks you’re incompetent, lazy, or stupid. He is just trying to be nice and polite, and I have no doubt that you have demonstrated your ability to fill your own tank. You have, haven’t you? Surely you haven’t availed yourself of such demeaning kindness, right?
Sigh.
Well, I did not say that he thinks women are lazy, incompetent, or stupid. I said the women who take advantage of this service are perpetuating that stereotype. And the reason I made the last post is that people were assuming something when they do not know the situation at this particular store. I think courtesy is a wonderful thing, and I think full service is a fantastic thing. I think it is biased when it is offered to only a specific segment of the population. Why not offer the service to everyone? Why just one group? And for the record, no. I have never gone to this store and not pumped my own gas. It is amazing how many women I see go there, with their teenage kids in the car, and still make the attendant pump their gas. If this is not taking advantage, and making oneself look lazy, then I dont know what is.
(bolding mine)
Wow. I’m more insulted than that several times a day. Maybe the guy likes being extra-friendly to women. If I were you, I’d simply ignore the sign and pump my own gas. Why do you care?
Emarkp
""Really, the so-called “incredibly old fashioned notions” include things like: respect for all women, good manners, hospitality, etc. “”
See that? “respect for all women” Why not respect for all people? Why just women? Do you see my point here?
Now that I think about it, I’d probably let them provide service. Even though I’m a guy, I suck at the whole gas pump thing. Mostly it’s just because I don’t own a car. I had to fill my parents’ car up earlier today, and pulled up on the wrong side of the car. Then circle around and pulled up with the same (wrong) side of the car to the other side of the island. I got it right on the third try. While pumping, I dropped the gas cap on the ground. It was pathetic.
Dear Tornado Siren (Neat name!),
Welcome to the Straight Dope.
You seem to have such a level head. Here you are, having raised an interesting issue and asking for responses, and getting a bit of a hard time.
Not that you haven’t had people post some good thoughtful counterviews, phrased in a commanding way. But I do think it is a bit much to have someone say:
“Well, now that we’ve heard from on high, I guess we should just close the thread.”
You said nothing to warrant that kind of editorialising. It seems to me your original post demonstrates some of the seemingly minor but actually major problems peculiar to small towns, especially if you have a city way of thinking about things.
What I liked about what you wrote originally was [ul]that you value the rural life
that you care enough about the feelings of the store manager to let sleeping dogs lie
that you’ve shared your concern with local folk and accepted their answer (rather than tried to tell them what they REALLY think)
and are content enough in yourself to leave it there, apart from asking us what we think. [/ul]
[Petticoat Junction Voice] Why don’t you come visit over in MPSIMS and IMHO? We’re homelier there. Less fightin’ and fussin’ and more agreeable folks all round - c’mon over, and set a spell. My, that’s a right purty blouse! Wheer’d you git that? [/Petticoat Junction Voice]
RedBea
[sub]NOTE: I am aware that Petticoat Junction is NOT set in rural Oklahoma. It was not meant to be an equation, but a far-fetched, hence amusingly ridiculous and out-moded media reference.[/sub]
There is a perception among certain males that being polite to one another is a feminine trait. I don’t agree with this, but it doesn’t mean the perception doesn’t exist.
That’s why I said that I sometimes hold doors for men. If I’m with my SO, I do it. If the men are friends or acquaintances, I do it. With total strangers, it’s a judgement call. At the very least, I hold it until they reach the door to hold it themselves.
If that’s the case with the gentleman at the gas station, that’s not his fault. Blame the men who have a problem with it.
I have expressed in several threads my view that people these days are just too sensitive.
We live in a world where there are many kinds of people with different mentalities and culture and they have as much of a right to be here as you do.
I have come across situations where people are doing things which in fact annoy me but their motivation is not bad. Recently, in China, at a dinner party, they insisted I had to drink that lousy fire water which tastes like shampoo. I went along and took a token sip but they just kept insisting I had to drink. I was annoyed and I was adamant but I did not take offense or seek confrontation, I just kept my cool, took token sips, smiled a lot and did not drink. These people are not trying to insult me, they are trying to make me one of them.
So, my rule is: if you take offense where none was intended and where, in fact, kindness was intended, then you are overreacting and you need to turn your sensitivity down a notch.
The mentality behind this is that it is an honor to help a lady. That honor is reserved in the first place to the man who escorts her. It would be rude for me to offer help to a woman who is escorted. So they are offering help to all women while recognising the privilege of the man who escorts you.
I can only see it as a kind offer. maybe it does not belong in my culture or generation but people from other cultures and generations have as much right as I do to share the planet.
Even when offense is intended I often choose to ignore it. Life is too short. Why go around looking for offenses where none was meant? Just MHO.
Thanks for the kind words, Redboss :)I got the purdy blouse at the shop down yonder. You take a right at the tree that looks like a bear.
It rankles, folks. Simple as that. Ever gotten cactus thorns in your finger? The big ones are easy to get out. It’s the little bitty ones that you cant quite get ahold of that are the real bitch.
I can understand Tornado Siren’s concern about traditional perceptions of women as weak and I think that help should be offered to unescorted parents generally if they are amenable to those offers, but I think she’s overreacting too. I’m basically lazy, and I love it when I can get other folks to do stuff for me :-), BUT I don’t expect them too. I’m always pleasantly surprised if men hold open doors for me or pull out my chair to seat me, or offer to pump my gas for me. That’s just really nice. It doesn’t mean that they think I can’t do it for myself, it’s just a way for them to show respect. If this man wants to offer a special service to a specific population, then good manners should dictate that one accept it graciously OR take one’s business elsewhere.
Well, shit. There are so many things in this world to be offended and insulted by. If this is the worst insult you’ve ever experienced, consider yourself lucky.
I’m sorry, but he’s old-fashioned, but in a nice way. Would it be better for him to say, “No women allowed to pump their own gas?” No.
Just go to self serve, or don’t go there. Really.
Siren:
these lazy women aren’t “perpetuating a stereotype.” They’re getting gas the way they want to.
You still don’t understand about child seats and babies.
It doesn’t matter whether you’re just walking 10 feet away to pay an attendant. You never leave a child unattended in a car. Most responsible parents have had this drilled into their head since day one.
And, let’s say they don’t have kids, and their just too lazy and stupid to pump their own gas.
Seeing a market for lazy and stupid women that the attendant can attract he creates his sign.
WOuld you be satisfied if the sign read "Lazy and stupid " women?
My point is a simple one.
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It’s really none of your business how he runs his business and what customers are attracted to it. He’s in the business of supplying gas, not social reform.
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9,999,999 times out of 10,000,000 the ignorant and uninformed opinion of an outsider as regards a complex and balanced system is completely worthless.
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To me it’s your problem. You’re making judgements, not the gas station attendant. The attendant has ample evidence to support his action. You have none, except for a worthless claim of superior enlightenment.
to me the test has always been that people who ask “why” things are done a certain way are usually worth listening to when they’ve learned all they can learn. People who just walk up and tell you “how” it should be done without bothering to learn the reasoning are about as useful as a fart in bathysphere.