I fully understand about babies and carseats. The attendant is right there. You dont have to walk 10 feet, or even 2 feet, from your car. But again, its not the point. I stated quite emphatically that I had no intention of saying anything to the manager, or the attendant about my opinions of his policy. I am not uninformed nor ignorant. I am the one who lives here and sees the setup, you are not. Once again, this is the ONLY place to get gas. The policy does not increase nor decrease the business one little bit. I also stated that I do know that the manager’s policy is one of mere kindness on his part, and that I am quite sure no slight is intended. You say I am being too sensitive. Yet here you are, being insulting to me when, in my initial post, all I asked is if I was the only one who could see the inherent sexism in the sign. Intentional or not.
Yes, we should have respect for all others. But look at history. Historically, women have not been treated as equals. Even now, men hold most of the political and economic power in the world. When it comes down to it, men are generally stronger physically as well.
Hence the tradition for men to treat women better–it’s to prevent us men from even thinking of taking advantage of a woman (or otherwise treating her poorly) with whatever power we may have. If more poeple were this old-fashioned, there would be fewer deadbeat dads, less spousal abuse, etc. Heaven help us if extra respect is villified.
This had nothing to do with what I wrote. I’ve never met a man (including me) who felt that being polite was somehow unmanly.
My mom isn’t lazy, incompetent, or stupid, but she doesn’t pump her own gas. She doesn’t know how. She has never learned. She has been know to sit in her car for up to 20 minutes until the attendent offers her help.
Just because YOU are capable of pumping gas (and I know that I certainly am) doesn’t mean that women from ALL generations are. There are still gals around that NEED this service, purely because of their generation.
I would assume that this man is catering to those women.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by emarkp *
Hence the tradition for men to treat women better–it’s to prevent us men from even thinking of taking advantage of a woman (or otherwise treating her poorly) with whatever power we may have. If more poeple were this old-fashioned, there would be fewer deadbeat dads, less spousal abuse, etc. Heaven help us if extra respect is villified.
Emarkp:I am really not the radical “all men are demons and should be shot” kinda feminist that some people seem to be thinking I am. Nor am I normally so sensitive to sexism that I see it in everything. I do not villify respect. But I do find the casual offhanded way it is offered to be offensive. When people are categorized, it seperates them. It puts one segment apart from another segment. Women, in general, do not wish to be put on a pedestal. It’s a very lonely and boring place up there. I feel the same way about hate crime legislation. Again, on the surface, it seems a good idea, but deeper down, it puts one segment of society in a different place than another. This is a dangerous thing to do, and only makes the gulf between us larger. (Course, that belongs to another thread.)
By god, if you are an ass to everyone else, be an ass to me. If you are nice to everyone else, be nice to me.
I live in a small town in Alabama and I think that the owner of the station is just being polite.
I think it would be very rude if anyone was to question his motives for offering this service to ladies.
What you see as a putdown is really a luxury and you are missing out on the enjoyment of this luxury by trying to find some way to be offended by it.
The owner is offering to pump your gas, at no extra charge, so that you may stay in the vehicle and not bother with it, I think it is a very polite and chivalrous thought and I commend him for his efforts.
This is one many benefits of small town life and you really need to get used to it. This is the activity that has drawn you to small town life afterall.
I have offered to pump the gas for a female customer at the gas station I frequent and I liken it to holding a door for them. I am not doing this to say that they are too stupid to do it themselves, I am merely offering it as a friendly jesture.
I also will instictively pull over to help a lady change a tire. I know that anyone can change a tire but I am willing to offer this help because I think it is polite and I would hope that someone else would offer this help to my wife if she ever needed it.
I just realized that I used the word “lady” and I am sure that someone will be offended by this. Maybe the OP is correct, maybe we should all stop being polite. Yes, I am convinced. The next time a lady pulls up to the gas island next to me, instead of being polite I will just think to my self “she’s a grown woman, let her pump her own damn gas”. And, I am going to stop holding doors for people. From now on I won’t even look back as I let the door go.
“Hello World, meet the newest member of the Rude Society! Hooray for me and to Hell with everyone else.”
Ummm… I’d much prefer it if people weren’t asses to me. And if they’re not asses to me because I am a woman… hey, I’ll take it any way I can get it.
I grew up and still live in the South. I just turned thirty, and I am used to eighty year old men tipping their hats and addressing me as “ma’am”. It’s called manners–a dying concept, I know, but one that some of us still adhere to. Besides, I am secure enough in my own abilities and equality that I can quite happily allow men to hold doors open for me, offer their seats, and pump gas, even. I have nothing to prove.
I think the problem is, that the more respect you have for a lady, the less respect you have for that person. You can’t simply get something for nothing like many seem to imply is happening.
Like emarkp said
Its a way to keep power among the men. Because as long as you treat a woman with more respect as a lady you get to think of them as lessers who need this. Otherwise you wouldn’t do it, “good” stereotypes that are wrong are just as bad as bad ones.
And for men it also hurts them by making them conform as well.
What about the men who can’t change a tire? (looking at waterj2:))Its not really being that polite if your going to snub certain people.
Asmodean, maybe I’m just being dense, if so I’m ready to be educated, but how does showing respect for women by extending them little courtesies constitute disrespect for them or force men to conform to a standard they may not wish to? If men have so much power, then they can choose whether or not to extend courtesies to anyone. At any rate, I think that it boils down to the fact that men and women have a choice now. I don’t expect to have anything done for me, but I’m not threatened when a man does offer to pump my gas.
Okay, so let’s say men think women should pump their own damn gas or whatever. That doesn’t mean they can’t or won’t disrespect women in other ways. I’m thinking historically now of a time when female slaves did as much work and maybe even more than male slaves and no courtesies were extended to them. Sojourner Truth’s speech “Ain’t I A Woman” gets at that level of equalizes men and women but still disrespecting them. Does this make sense?
It’s a beautiful day, now all you kids go out and play.
Peace,
mangeorge
Tornado Siren, what would happen if you did this?
Drive up to the gas pump, get out, and wait.
Attendant comes over.
You ask: “Would you pump my gas for me today?”
Attendant: “Why, sure, miss, I’ll be happy to help.”
Attendant begins pumping gas.
You: “I spent the weekend rebuilding the transmission and my hands are all cramped up.”
Attendant: :eek:
Does that sort of get at what you’re talking about? 
I have to admit, I might just have to try that sometime. Would be quite interesting to judge the reactions. 
The initial premise of this OP suggests that the attendant has no idea that he’s being sexist.
It suggests that the women who want gas pumped for them, and the people willing to do so are somehow in error, or in the stone age.
The implication is that you’re enlightened and no better, and they don’t.
Now, thee attendant may be a chauvinist bastard, and the women may be reinforcing stereotypes (I doubt it, but it’s possible.)
This is only one of several possibilities to explain this behavior.
The fact that you have latched onto the 18th century bumpkin explanation means that you are the one prejudging. That much is clear.
The jury’s still out on the attendants and the customers, but there’s no doubt at all about the nature of your assumptions.
Dang, I’m tired of city life. I yearn for where men are men, women are women, and young’uns have chores to keep 'em out of trouble.
Why would anyone be insulted because of what they are.
(Condensending are we? )
I’m old fashioned and I understand why you’re offended. You actually think that men and women are the same except for a couple of plumbing details. Well, dear lady, they ain’t.
Women are (Yes! Here it comes: ) the weaker sex.
And before any SDMB ladies get their corsets in a bind,
consider that you’ll have to rape me to make me change my mind.
That said.
I am not saying that women shouldn’t vote.
I am not saying that there aren’t plenty of women with more smarts or talent than I.
Or that some couldn’t whup me, especially since it is against my principles to ever, ever hit a women.
I am not saying that women should wear …wait a sec…looking for the proper spelling of women’s head to toe dress as required by the Taliban…can’t find it…Oh, one site under Yahoo’s Islam directory links to a porno site… … … … wait a sec… … … wait a sec… … … okay back.
It is the duty of man to shelter, protect, and rever woman; not to mention helping with the dishes, diapers, and equal rights.
This says it better than I could
http://www.muslim-answers.org/w-status.htm
If you think I think you’re overreacting just wait 'till the responses to this post. Perhaps even including yours.
AcidKid said:
That said.
I am not saying that women shouldn’t vote.
I am not saying that there aren’t plenty of women with more smarts or talent than I.
Or that some couldn’t whup me, especially since it is against my principles to ever, ever hit a women.
It is the duty of man to shelter, protect, and rever woman; not to mention helping with the dishes, diapers, and equal rights.
[celestina holding a big paddle in one hand rapping it against the other hand]
You forgot that it is the duty of man to OBEY women who are their natural rulers. [giggle] Bend over, AcidKid so I can whup yo’ tail.
I agree with Tornado Siren. It should be full service for everybody or for nobody. It is not manners to treat women like the “weaker sex”. It is not manners to assume that every woman has a passel of screaming children and every man wouldn’t dream of leaving the house with a child in the back seat.
I think that people who want to treat women like “ladies” and call it good manners is missing the point. It is very, very easy to be gallant when you are in the position of power. I mean, it’s such a little thing to open a door or pump some gas when you know that you have more power, more money, and more of a future then she will ever have. Why should these antiquated ideas be allowed to carry over from generation to generation?
Implying that men and woman are not equal is offensive to some people. I would be offended, and am offended, when someone treats me different than my fiance just because I’m a woman. It is also offensive when people assume that the only ones who need help due to children are women. I’m sure all the single fathers in the world appreciate the implication that they aren’t real parents. Heck, I’m sure the fathers who are “house-husbands” appreciate the implication too.
If I ever have a child and need help, than I’ll ask for it. But I do not appreciate when someone automatically assumes that I’ll need them just because I am a woman. I appreciate it when my fiance opens the door, he appreciates it when I open the door for him.
Maybe the station’s owner only had the nicest intentions in mind, but it’s the implication that is offensive.
Why are you all jumping on Tornado because she’s offended when a place of business automatically assumes that she and every other woman in the area can’t pump gas. It’s bigotry when you judge an entire section of the human population based on one thing, like, say, gender.
such hostility:
Some men (with so called old fashioned values) put women on a higher level. As such feel like women should not have to worry about such trivial matters as pumping their own gas. I really believe that this man knows that most women are capable of pumping their own gas but he wished to offer his services.
The baby reason is valid and probally 90% of the time it will be the mommy w/ the baby - but as pointed out that probally isn’t the reason for the sign.
I asked my wife what she thought of the sign; she used to be somewhat of a feminist but is comming to realize that there are indeed diffrences (besides the obvious) between the genders. She said she wasn’t offended but could see how someone might be. She also said that she wouldn’t want to take advantage of the policy. If however she was forced to have full service because she is a woman - she would have a problem.
Maybe I am missing something. Is there some law that forces her to shop there?
Is anyone really saying that man does not have a right to his own values? Are we really saying he is something evil which must be erradicated?
pepperlandgirl, your values are good for you but you have no right to impose them on others. They have as much right to theirs as you do to yours. If you don’t like them just don’t associate with people who have them. I don’t think they’ll miss you much either.
celestina, my point was that nothing comes free. If the guys are showing respect in one area that must mean that they show disrespect in another area. You can’t have both.
As for how men are it goes back to men have to be stereotypically masculine, or they are not men. And if they aren’t men they are less(or feminine).
Yes you are. Its a small town and that is the only gas station
If you are looking for reasons to be offended, you generally find them.
That having been said, I hope this is the worst thing that ever happens to you.