Yes women who belong to NOW (national org. of women) in general agree, but I got news for you this is a very small percentage of (very vocal) women and they don’t speek for the majority of women.
It is confusing/scary where such a small group wants to command such power.
That said, I would rather my wife go to that station then one that doesn’t offer that service. I think these are the values we must move to not away.
Lets celabrate our diffrences not repress them.
I need to make a correction to the former post. I attributed a quotation to Asmodean when it was actually Sterra who said it. Sorry, Sterra. Blame it on lack of sleep and not enough caffiene.
Scylla said:
"I for one said nothing of the kind. Perhaps you think all men think that way, and it’s safe to assign that kind of motivation.
I think you must or else you must be deliberately misinterpreting my posts."
Oh dear, Scylla, is that what my post sounded like? That all men think the same way? No. That’s not what I meant. I’m the first to admit I don’t know what’s going on in the minds of men or women. That’s why I’m always bugging them for their perspectives. Hell, half the time I don’t even know what’s going on in my own mind! I’m not sure I’m interpreting your tone in the aforementioned quotation correctly–so enlighten me please–but I read it as being dismissive, self-superior, patronising, and defensive, and if they are so, then I don’t care for any of them, nor do I care to have you presume to know what I think about men or anything else for that matter because YOU DON’T KNOW ME, but I’ll be alright just the same.
Before I read this post, I didn’t really think that a small gesture like men holding the door open for me or extending other small courtesies could be perceived by some to be sexist, but after reading it I can see how other women could see that, and that’s been educational for me. (Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been subjected to much more blatant and much more covert types of sexism, and I didn’t like it one bit.) In my post I wasn’t being disrespectful of you, Scylla, or of any other poster to this thread. It certainly was not my intention to misrepresent what opinions you presented. I actually liked the point you made about how parents who have kids in tow may need extra help because as someone who doesn’t have kids, it just didn’t occur to me. What I was referring to was your and some of the other males’ defensive? tones and to those males who were arguing that extending courtesies to women wasn’t sexist, and I was wondering/asking if one of the reasons for the defensive?/frustrated? tones and disagreement with the OP as overreacting wasn’t due to a fear of change in the attitudes/behaviors the male posters engage in and perhaps base their self-esteem and identity on. I’m not saying they’re terrible people for feeling that holding doors open for women is a good thing and non-sexist. What I was thinking is that it is usually scary when people question the validity/necessity of actions/behaviors derived from a patriarchal system that others engage in and identify as correct and not harmful, as the OP has questioned with the sign at the gas station. I’m not saying you or any other man who wants to be extra courteous to women are wrong or whatever. I’m trying to understand the motivation for behavior, which I think is the underlying concern of the OP. I’m sure that if I’ve misinterpreted the OP’s underlying concerns, I’ll be corrected on that too.
k2dave, I wasn’t referring to all women. What I meant in the post was the women who posted to this thread who’re arguing that they see the sign as sexist despite the gas station owner’s possibly good intentions. But since you mention NOW, let me say that I agree that NOW doesn’t speak for the majority of women or men. What I do think is that for each individual female you ask about the notion of men extending small courtesies to women, you most likely will get different answers–some don’t have a problem with it, and some do(Ladies who’ve posted to this thread, there’s nothing wrong with voicing either position.)–and it’s these different responses that can make knowing what’s the proper way to conduct oneself confusing. Whereas, a few decades ago, men and women would not have openly questioned these courtesies so it was easier then for men to know how to conduct themselves. Is it this confusion that is contributing to the defensive?/frustrated? tones I perceive in some of the male posters posts to this thread?
Naked toes!
Low heels are okay with a riding crop
but high heels and whip are the height of fashion.
Granted, if a woman chooses not to be a wife or mother she should be free to persue her career, if she chooses to be a wife but not a mother she should be free to persue her career.
But I firmly believe that once a woman, by choice or accident becomes a mother then her duty is motherhood.
If the father does not do his duty, well that is why we have a government, to protect those taken advantage of.
Methinks the writer expected all women to be mothers.
Granted, force is most often necessary to achieve rights.
The author most probably came from a culture where a woman alone is buzzard bait.
Men are evil, women are good.
It takes a woman to divert a man’s energies of killing and eating to good by sharing the food and protecting the woman.
A civilized man will protect all women
if by nothing as simple as pumping gas.
Tornado Siren - have you travelled much - especially outside the US? I have to echo and agree with sailor and Scylla to an extent.
If you go to other countries, you will suffer a hundred little cultural differences that might offend you. In France, the “Birthplace of Equality, Justice and Liberty” (so they say), many very independent French women expect doors to be held for them, orders to be made for them (yes, it is still done, even for women under 30), special rates and perks for women at stores, even special taxi rates for women. Would you condemn these aspects of their culture? These cultures could condemn many aspects of our culture as well - starting with the annoying tendency for teenage boys to take guns and kill each other over who has a scuffed Air Jordan.
I have been to many countries. Many courtesies both small and large are given to women, as a form of manners - at least in the civilized ones.
Although we sometimes tend to think of one set of cultural guidelines that “should” be applied to the US, remember that the US is a huge place with many different cultures, peoples, and historical backgrounds. I tend to think of the “South” as being a whole seperate culture, like I do a few other areas of the country.
There are many greater injustices in the World. You need to let it go, and enjoy the colloquialism as best as possible. And know the difference between Good and Bad:
Good Colloquialism: Free full-service for handicapped and unescorted women.
Bad Colloquialism: No gas sales to negroes and loose, unescorted women.
Like someone else said in here - this is a case where an extra service is being offered, which can be refused if desired. Not a case where a service is being denied. What if instead the station owner simply stopped offering the service completely, worrying too much about who they might offend next - who really wins in that (IMO likely) situation? Does anyone?
[Nitpick]
“Colloquialism” refers to an element of speech used casually or conversationally, or one specific to a particlar dialect. I don’t believe it can be subsituted for “custom.”
[/Nitpick]
AcidKid said:
“Naked toes!
Low heels are okay with a riding crop
but high heels and whip are the height of fashion.”
and
“A civilized man will protect all women
if by nothing as simple as pumping gas.”
[celestina unstrapping her sandals, extricating her feet, which are in sad need of a pedicure, and wiggling her toes]
Oh, AcidKid, you strike me as a nice person, and I’m too tired to argue with you over that link you provided, even though I really disagree with it. [giggle] Would you be a dear and protect me from all of these calluses and dead skin by giving me a pedicure and foot massage? 
That does sound like a pain in the butt. Maybe the stations in your area will catch on to the fairly recent trend up here- at least half of the stations are now “pay at the pump.” While I still prefer them as a general rule, I went out of my way to find them when my brother was younger, after he told me he wanted to get something from the cat, but decided to try to drive my car in the parking lot instead when he was 12 or so. With pay at the pump sort of options, I was able to see exactly what he was doing as I pumped gas, since I was less than 2 feet away from the car.
Well, I listed “Good” and “Bad”, and did it using the wrong word. I guess that just leaves me as “Ugly”.