Eros, God of Love.
this part is hilarious, though:
“…women, who seem to melt in your presence.”
mmm… I don’t think so. The rest isn’t too far off if I’m in the need for an ego boost.
I am large,
I contradict myself,
I contain multitudes.
~Walt Whitman
A brilliant bolt of lightening descends! SHAZAAM! The oracle has spoken!
The smoke clears to reveal that inside you is a divine being, and she is PERSEPHONE, Goddess of the Night, a woman in touch with her deepest inner desires.
As the most sexual of all the female deities, you are very comfortable in the bedroom. Your skill at pleasing a man is unmatched, and you know exactly what you need for your own pleasure. As a woman of passion, you’re very comfortable with expressing your desires to anyone. You are a proud and confident woman who exudes sensuality. You cherish the intimacy of physical attraction, and know what it takes to win a man. As a woman deeply in touch with her sexuality, you definitely know how to thoroughly enjoy yourself! Your polished bedroom performance always keeps them coming back for more. When everything is going right, a light shines down from the heavens. Behold, the skies proclaim, here lies a goddess!
“I like toast.” 
Hark - the oracle speaks! A bolt of lightening falls from the sky! SHAZAAM! The smoke clears and reveals that the god within you is:
PLUTO, God of Hades.
In a world of casual seduction and one night stands you are a complete non-conformist. You like your romances long and intense, it is not uncommon for girlfriends to spend months at a time without ever leaving your house. You might not be as suave or attractive as some of the other guys, but once in your clutches few women will be able to leave, and those that do will return within a short time. But lets not forget your erotic side. In bed you are immensely creative, often using sex toys, or even the occasional fruit, such as a banana or pomegranite, to insure that your particular lady will never leave your side. Some women may be slightly intimidated by your complete control over the legions of the dead, or perhaps your personal hygene, but you’re at your best when they just lie very very still and try not to breathe anyway: after all, you are the lord of the dead. Once you’ve captured the lady of your dreams you know that she won’t be able to stay away from a God like you.
Well, ok maybe not. But really, is there a negative(or at least neutral) profile in there anywhere?
Still later, Gerald did a terrible thing to Elsie with a saucepan.
I’m also an Athena. Don’t tell my cat though because she may not like sharing the name.
I’m going back and retaking the test and selecting the absolute worst choice. I’m curious to see what it’ll say. Results in a few minutes.
“I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.”
And the results are in…
A brilliant bolt of lightening descends! SHAZAAM! The oracle has spoken!
The smoke clears to reveal that inside you is a divine being, and she is DIANA, the Goddess of the Virgin Wild.
You are extremely desirable, but untouchable. As the deity of chastity and virginity, you live by your values. Your sexual desires simmer beneath a firm moral resolve. But you are far from a prude! The natural sensuality that you exude just makes you all the more desirable to your suitors. They know that your bedroom is a shrine, and you won’t share it with just anyone. You leave a trail of heartbroken men behind you, wherever you go. You probably take sex very seriously, and share it only with someone that you love. You truly enjoy the romance of courtship, but you stick to the ideals you’ve set for yourself. Any guy who doesn’t respect your boundaries is ancient history. You truly understand the meaning of love, and will not settle for anything less than what you consider perfect. For the lucky guy who finds his way to your heart, suddenly the light comes shining down from the heavens. Behold, the skies proclaim, here lies a goddess!
How interesting. None of the ladies here are Diana’s. How fortunate for you male SDers.
“I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.”
Are You a Sex God?
Hark - the oracle speaks! A bolt of lightning falls
from the sky! SHAZAAM! The smoke clears and
reveals that the god within you is:
APOLLO, God of Poetry and Music.
You are the ideal man - basically, a stud. Loved by
all, your golden boy charm is enough to drive most
women crazy with lust. You are the most wanted of
all the deities. Women place you on a pedestal
during the day, and dream about you at night. And
once you work your Godly magic in the bedroom,
you've got them hooked for life. You are the hot,
smart and charming guy whom all the ladies want to
bed. Your inner intelligence, sensual nature and
great physique make women happy to oblige any of
your requests. Your hot and steamy temperament,
and the devotion that simmers within you make
women swoon. You probably tend to dive
passionately into relationships, but may find that
your firey desire quickly cools. Nevertheless, you
leave a trail of satisfied mortals in your wake.
that result is dead on accurate…
Grace -
I tried that this afternoon and got Diana, virginal goddess, or something like that. Post the results though…it’s pretty amusing anyway.
Winner, SDMB’s Biggest Chat Addict
“Only two things that’ll soothe my soul - cold beer and remote control.”
[QUOTE]
The smoke clears to reveal that inside you is a divine being, and she is VENUS, the Goddess of Love and Beauty.
Let’s just say that you are a deity with quite a fan club. Popular and pretty, your abundant sensuality fills men with desire. You probably take pride in your appearance, and have a very feminine way about you. You have a talent for dealing with men because you’ve perfected the art of innocent flirting. But beneath that naïve exterior lies a woman ready to hit the sheets and get busy. Once in the bedroom, your divine instincts take over. You are probably comfortable in sexual situations, and know how to make your lovers melt. You might even surprise men with your sexual confidence and skilled performance. Suddenly, like a light from the heavens, they discover your true inner nature. Behold, the skies proclaim, here lies a goddess!
Woohoo! I’m your Venus…
This space blank, until Wally thinks up something cool to put here.
I’m a Hera, Goddess of Devotion.
“I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.”
Hark - the oracle speaks! A bolt of lightning falls from the sky! SHAZAAM! The smoke clears and reveals that the god within you is: John Holmes
Is not being a virgin a requirement for the test?
knuckle-dragging hose mongerer.
SDMB Self-Righteous Clique
Oops! I didn’t notice on my first run through that AzRaek was also a Persephone. Also, it seems that the PurpleCrackWhore is too… Do I detect a pattern emerging here? evilbeth, psycat90, AzRaek, neuro-trash grrrl, PurpleCrackWhore… Well, in any event, I now have a few more names for my Ladies Who Can Be My Pals list…
Heck is where you go when you don’t believe in Gosh.
Another PERSEPHONE checking in.
Will someone please tell me again why it is I’m still single? 
“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.” - Anne Frank
Hey, if you ever make it out this way, we’ll go out and give this town a time like they’ve never seen! I knew there was a reason you were one of my Posters I Most Want to Hang Out With!
I have a hobby. I have the world’s largest collection of seashells. I keep it scattered on beaches all over the world. Maybe you’ve seen some of it.
I am APOLLO, God of Poetry and Music.
I knew it all along; I wasn’t voted SDMB Sexiest Male for nothing!
Continued from lower abdomen
Athena:
“Winners never quit and quitters never win, but those who never win and never quit are idiots.”
Boy, I can smell the fear in the hearts of men(and women) already. Isn’t there a Vegas trip trying to come together? The town will never be the same.
This life is a test. It is only a test. If it had been an actual life, you would have received further instructions on where to go and what to do.
Well, that’s a fine how-d’ya-do, NTG…just omit me altogether. Pthththtttt.
“I like toast.”
Well on the boy test, I got Zeus and on the girl test I got Demeter.