Keep it up and we can have a Fencing dopefest sometime!
Beware Osips Bukler of Many colors!
Anyway I am going to hell for many reason. Most of those reasons have passed under the radar until someone reported me and I got threadspotted.
err don’t have a link, but it was the thread about redoign the bible with all looney toon characters.
sigh Buckler I shear I typed Buckler…
fricking hampsters are eating only letters now in my posts.
Die Vermin!
because I don’t want to spend an eternity with the folks who are certain they are going elsewhere…
an eternity with Falwell? I really don’t think so…
If CJ is going to hell for influencing/corrupting me, I’m going there too (pah, I’ve done more than enough to earn it without her help…). I don’t care for marshmallows, but I’ll get some graham crackers and chocolate!
When I read Dante’s “Inferno” in high school, I had a hard time deciding which circle I’d fit into the best. I suppose I’ll mainly go to hell for being Wiccan, but there are also the matters of sloth, liking women, occasional gluttony, many impure thoughts, and impersonating a nun on Halloween.
Also, I don’t believe in hell. So THERE! Hey, come back here with that handbasket!
I had pre-marital sex. Lots and lots and lots of pre-marital sex. I actually blew off seminary in HS so I could go home and have lots of sex. I would double back from Church so I could go home and have lots of sex. Two days after my BF was baptized into the church we were having lots of sex.
Of course, that’s when I still believed in hell, and I was really worried about it. Obviously not too worried though, because we never stopped.
Now I don’t believe in God, so even without the fun sex, I’d still be sent to hell
Hmm…
Well, let’s go down the list of the seven Deadly Sins:
So, I’m probably going to Hell, but only for two out of seven (maybe three, if you added up partial credit).
[Freddy Mercury] Beelzbub has a devil put aside for me [/Freddy Mercury]
Speaking of 7 deadly sins, I think we should dump lust and add selfishness.
I am doomed, DOOMED, I tell you.
I have committed all of the seven deadly sins and a few more to boot!! I am a SINNER, yes brethren, I have SINNED, and I’m here for redemption…or at least to know that I’ll meet a few familiar faces and names when I get chucked into the pits.
See ya down there folks…and seeing the marshmallows are already spoken for, how about I bring a few conkers (chestnuts) to roast in the fiery pits of hell and damnation?
At least we’ll be well fed sinners…
Well, I guess I’ll be there too for most of the reasons noted above. It might not be so bad, though. Consider that all the Christian fundamentalists will be in heaven. We won’t have to put up with Falwell, Pat Robertson, et. al. and all their followers. Nobody around to criticise us for our lust and other “sins”. On the other hand, maybe one of the bits flipped over in the great cosmic computer and everything has been reversed and all the Dopers will end up in Heaven and those other folks can spend eternity tending the great campfire in the neatherworld. Maybe God has a sense of humor and is playing a great practical joke. Who knows.
I consider my own existance proof enough that if there is a god, he has a twisted sense of humor.
I’m going to Hell because I don’t believe in it…
The funniest thing about hell is watching people get worked up and bent out of shape over something that doesn’t even exist as far as I can tell 
Well, let’s see, according to the God that I don’t believe in (or that God’s followers to be more precise) I guess I qualify for the following reasons:
I’m a flaming, proud, homosexual
As previously mentioned, I have no use for a supreme being or “god”
I’ve shoplifted
I’ve lied
I’ve taken unholy drink and tobacco
I’ve had plenty of impure thoughts (and work hard at that, actually)
I ride a Harley
I work in commercial television broadcasting
I eat meat
I wear leather
I participated in a flag burning once
I don’t belive in “organic” anything
I could go on, but as you can see, I qualify for a place in that nonexistent hot and evil place based on any number of weights and measures.
Shit, I guess I’m doomed. Anybody got any more salsa - I’m out.
Yawn.
Yup. Just twisted enough to send all of us to hell. See y’all there! I’ll be first in line.
High five, bro.
I like Celine Dion.
Now that’s just twisted…
If I were governed by the rules of the J/C/I deity, then yeah, I suppose I would.
But since I’m outside of His jurisdiction, I’m going to the Summer Lands.
**H4E wrote:
Uh, scuse me, but what’s so funny about hell? Seems to be a lot of joking about it. Personally, I don’t find hell to be a joking matter but that’s just me.**
WHOOSH
My guess is that H4E uses some super, industrial strength hairspray 'cause she doesn’t even feel the disturbance in the air when those comments go flying over her head.
Ah yes, the seldom-quoted eleventh and twelfth commandments.
I am probably going to hell, because i have no intention of going back to any church anytime soon. and my evil thoughts invlove Molotov Cocktails.