Argh...friend's roomate hurt her knee, now he'll NEVER be able to get rid of her!

The BBQ Pit
1

Well, now my friend is really screwed. His ex-girlfriend/roomate, who has been living rent-free for a while and should have walked out the door a LONG time ago, has become injured. At an anime convention they went to, she dislocated her knee dancing (twisted her leg apparently because of 6" platforms she was wearing). They went to the hospital, and apparently it had set itself back by itself but she had a lot of pain and there was some trauma to the area.

I talked to my friend on the phone last night. I know he has been trying to get rid of her, but whenever it seems like he’s going to do it, she seems to do/say something to change his mind. She might make some promise that she is able to demonstrate early on (“I’ll promise to get a job, see, I have been applying at 3 places a day for the past week”) but then when she is no longer in danger she’ll blow off the promise. Last month they had a huge argument, she got crazy drunk and it seemed very apparent that she WAS moving out- she was going to live with her best friend for a while until they sorted things out. However, nothing changed, which made me angry. I told my friend that it seems like there is a part of him that always seems to cave at the worst time when it comes to his roomate.

The reason I bring up the knee thing is because now it doesn’t matter how affirmative he is about her. She has an excuse that she is injured. Granted this excuse is valid to a point, but I have a feeling we are going to hear her whining about “…because of my knee” BS for the next two years regardless of how well it may have healed by then.

My friend had told me on the phone that the reason he moved out of his parents house was to have a chance to be totally alone, to not be bothered by anyone for at least a few hours of the day. However his roomate is totally destroying that vision. She is very clingy and constantly harasses him about this and that. When I talked to him on the phone I observed that everything that he was stressed about had nothing to do with her injury. It wasn’t that he was stressed he had to take care of her because she was injured. He would have no problem with that. But her attitude is no different (if not worse) now that she can’t get around, and the fact that she uses it as leverage really upsets him. The whole situation makes me very frustrated- I hate to see my best friend so miserable. If I could bear his suffering for him, I would (because I’d do everything I could to GET RID OF HER).

2

Can he move out?

3

To be blunt and speaking from experience, he needs to grow a pair.

4

Oh, and if the above is true, why’d he let her move in at all? He’s letting himself be her doormat, and he has to wake up to that.

Sadly, I don’t think you’re going to be able to help him on that - maybe some “tough love” from you might help, maybe not. In other words, if he calls you up to bitch about her, don’t sympathize. Ask when she’s leaving. Ask if he’s packed her stuff yet. Offer to come help pack.

5

She lived with him in his parents house before they moved, and she moved with him. At first she was paying her half of the rent, so she was tolerated to an extent. Then she lost her job, and seemed rather unenthusiastic about finding another job (unless she was under direct threat of getting kicked out).

Moving out for him isn’t really feasable right now, becasue he signed a 12 month lease for his apartment last February. As it is, he’s there for at least the rest of the year. However, I think she needs to leave NOW. He can afford to live there by himself (just barely, but he can) however, I don’t think he can, or should support her when all she is doing is being a drain on him emotionally and financially.

6

I’m thinking your friend needs to check on e-bay for a pair of kajones, if you know what I mean.

7

are they allowed to sell kajones on ebay?

But seriously, I agree with the gist of what alice_in_wonderland, lno (I think) and Ferret Herder (most recent post) said.

8

Yup. It’s not her knee, it’s his backbone that’s in need of maintenance.

9

That reminds me of the time my friend Tracy asked our mutual friend Eddie: “Do you have a backbone, like, at ALL?”

(granted, that was only about going across the street by himself to go to the 7-11… but the same question applies in this situation, only more seriously)

F_X