If you’re seeing it a lot, I’d suspect bullshit. It’s a bit like claiming you like long romantic walks holding hands along the beach when in fact you’ve never done anything of the kind and couldn’t care less.
I’m not asexual, but I do have a very low sex drive for a 28 year old guy. I’ve never had an erotic dream, for instance, and I can go days without even thinking about sex. But I have had girlfriends and do enjoy sex (although my girlfriend usually initiates it because, honestly, some of the time I just forget that it’s an option). It’s just never really been that much of a priority. Men talk about their teenage years as being a time of revolutionary sexual awakening, where the merest frisson in the air sent them scurrying into darkened corners to jack off like frenzied apes until they’d spunked themselves inside-out, and I just stare at them in complete bafflement. I simply cannot identify with that in any way.
In my teenage years, sex became slightly more of a priority than it had been previously. That is to say, I went from never thinking about it, to thinking about it a few times a week.
I can easily imagine being asexual, because asexuals aren’t that different from me.
The only assexual online to ever convince me of his/her assexuality was monstro. The rest? I suspect deeper issues.
It’s a bit TMI, but here goes:
Sometimes orgasms appeal. I discovered them not that long ago, and when I made the discovery it was like I’d stumbled onto another sense. Kind of like a “whole new world” experience.
Now I guess the novelty is worn off? I don’t know. Sometimes they are pleasurable and sometimes they are kind of unpleasant. Not painful exactly, but sometimes my body will feel more tense, rather than relaxed. It’s almost like it’s too much stimulation or something.
I think mental imagery helps the experience. Thinking about other people have sex doesn’t work for me. So I focus on the feelings themselves. I find that if I’m too cerebral about it, it’s not as pleasurable.
I read somewhere that orgasms provide a high similar to cocaine. I can’t imagine what this would feel like. I don’t think what I’ve experienced has ever come close, even if it can sometimes be quite nice.
But maybe for other people who feel asexual, they would say something completely different.
Normally, yes. And normally, humans have two legs and two arms, too. Or any of a number of other normal human traits. That doesn’t mean there aren’t exceptions.
Think of it this way: I know that it’s possible for a human to have no sexual desire at all for males, because I don’t. I think it’s also safe to say that it’s possible for a human to have no sexual desire at all for females. If both of those traits, lack of desire for males and lack of desire for females, are both possible, why shouldn’t it be possible for a single person to have both of them?
How common is it? I’ve no idea. And it’s almost certainly the case that there are some people who claim to be asexual, for whatever reason, who aren’t. But then it’s also almost certainly the case that some who claim to be asexual really are.
Hehe. This is funny because I’d be the first one to admit to having deeper issues! 
I don’t know if I’m “lacking” because of biological and/or psychological reasons. Maybe it’s a combo deal. It’s really not that important for me to fix it, so I guess I’ll never know.
There are asexual-identifying people who do not think there’s anything wrong with them and view themselves as perfectly normal in all other ways. But I’m not one of them.
Speaking of projecting, I’ve been described here as an asexual. I’m not. I’d love to snuggle and more with a lovely lady, but it’s just not happened and realistically, it isn’t going to.
Ever try a shrink? <wince>
You know, you strike me as the type who I’d really want to be friends with – but you’d never return my calls! 
edit: And my ‘deeper issues’, I meant, total buggery.
You know who was asexual?! HITLER!
Now there, you’ve got me coming and going.
(FTR, I have been officially diagnosed with Asperger’s by a doctor. I don’t know if there is any test that would somehow “prove” sexuality or the lack thereof, but I think I can dran well tell that for myself).
FYI, to project is to take your own feelings and assume they apply to others. Thus to project one’s feelings of sexual frustration would be to think, say, your partner is unhappy with your performance because you’re actually unhappy with hers.
As for the question of whether sexual frustration and anxiety are often reported as asexuality, I have a hard time believing this. Both of these concepts necessitate some type of sexual desire. The only people I think are strange are those who claim to be romantic asexuals, because very often the feelings they describe as romance are at least somewhat sexual, thus indicating they are not asexual but anti-sex.
I’m asexual. What is it to you? Maybe it’s abnormal, but how am I hurting anyone?
Looking at the OP again, I wonder where it is on the Internet that you’re seeing all these people who say they’re asexual. It’s not something I’ve noticed. There are several people identifying themselves as asexual in this thread, but it is specifically about asexuality so that’s to be expected. Of posters in this thread I don’t think there are any who bring up their asexuality often, and there are some who I’ve never even seen mention it before.
If you’re seeing a lot of questionable claims of asexuality in fan forums, which is what it sounds like here, it may be because some fandoms seem to attract more than their fair share of people who are…confused. I mean, there are people out there who claim to be the reincarnations of video game characters. There are also fandoms that attract a lot of adolescents, and I don’t think it’s unusual for kids of about middle school age to be both fascinated by and embarrassed about sex.
I think people go through stages. I’m in my 40s, when my husband died, I pretty much lost all interest. And now that my youngest son is about to graduate high school and my two daughters have completed college and are set up with their own jobs and apartments and lives, the interest is creeping back.
Confirmation bias ahead…
I don’t think that upon reflection most people would actively deny that asexuality exists. If you think about it for a second then it is logical to assume that there is a small percentage at either end of the spectrum of sexual desire. The issue that I often encounter when this topic comes up is that every single person I’ve ever met in person who self describes as “asexual” is otherwise socially inept, awkward, or otherwise affected in some manner. They aren’t just normal every day folks who happen to have no interest. Now I’m perfectly willing to admit to the confirmation bias on my part, but I can only describe the encounters that I’ve had. Every one of them was a younger adult/ older teen that has issues finding friends, let alone sexual partners. I think there is a large contingent of people out there who are using this term as shield du jour against having to face the tougher reality that they simply need to adjust* some* of their behaviour to interact in society. This must be a particularly attractive option to those who have a lower drive and are tired of trying, being given tough advice by parents or friends, or just aren’t ready for sex until later into young adulthood.
You are fortunate in having emotions that roughly match your opportunities.
But…
Wouldn’t the two things be correlated anyhow? Poor social relations and asexuality? Not all the time, but frequently?
For instance, I have good social skills (IMHO), but I have low social drive. I do not bond well with others because I am not interested in cultivating strong friendships, though I consider myself a somewhat friendly, nice person. Emotion-wise, I am also a little blunted, a little stunted perhaps. I’m sure there’s someone out there who probably thinks I’m too quiet and boring, don’t really smile as much as I should, and if I just got out more, I would feel differently about my sexuality and everything else. That is to say, if I just changed my attitude and environment, I would be “normal”.
But there are a ton of quiet and boring people out there who nonetheless have a sex drive. It is my understanding that the switch is turned on automatically through chemical signaling–that you do not have to do anything special to trigger it.
I guess what I’m saying is that for me, my social/emotional issues are NOT separate from the sexual ones. But that’s because I think they are related to each other–possibly having the same underlying cause(s). I don’t think they are merely coincidental, nor do I think one causes the other. So it wouldn’t surprise me at all to find a bunch of socially awkward people identifying as “asexual”. In fact, I would expect them to be the rule rather than the exception.
I do agree that there is a contingent out there who–maybe out of desperation or maybe out of a longing to “belong”–have latched onto labels that do not fit them as well as they would like. I say this without any evidence, but based on what I know about human behavior and people’s tendencies to “me too”. But I’m wondering how it’s possible to distinguish someone who’s lack of sexual activity stems from the same problems affecting their social skills from someone who is not sexual BECAUSE they are socially inept. It doesn’t seem like it would be easy to separate the two, just as an observer. But I have no experience with such people, so maybe it’s not hard?
I am amazed that more people are not asexual these days, with pornography and the “sex sells” attitude slamming genitalia into everything. Oh yes, it is not that I am saying it is bad or that I am asexual–because I am not. But if sex was not always gawd awful ugly, —it sure is now! I cannot believe that people do not laugh like crazy over anyone seriously climaxing. I laugh at myself. I know that sex is biological and everything, but I never could imagine really needing it. Catholic school may have ruined it for me!
No doubt they frequently do occur in conjunction. However, one must then ask the question: is the biological drive inextricably linked into, and dependent upon, the social skills set? I don’t believe that it is. We have popular people with low drives, and oversexed nerds. I’ve met all sorts of people with drives on both sides of the spectrum, yet the only self describing asexuals I’ve encountered all occur within a very narrow subset of people. I would expect a wider distribution of people, background and interests instead of:
Specifically: Caucasian / western European ethnicity- below 30 years of age- Highly educated or intelligent- poor social skills, higher than average incidence of poor hygiene or personal appearance- higher than average incidence of undiagnosed “depression” of some sort- into “geek” or “hipster” culture - specifically into obscure, or tail end genre to the obsessive exclusion of other interests or experiences.
Now I’m perfectly willing to grant that there are asexuals out there that do not fit that mold, but I’ve never met one in person. My best reasoning is that the vast majority of truly asexual people simply don’t talk about being asexual. They either truly have no interest in sexual conversations, or are simply unable to understand them and have learned to avoid such interactions for fear of being “corrected” or “helped” by well meaning friends or relatives. The ones who feel it necessary to discuss it always strike me as using it as a shield, or in a manner to make them seem more obscure or cool. It is sort of the difference between the vegan that keeps it to herself unless her diet would cause issues, and the one that take every opportunity to expound upon her superiority to the normals. You never notice the former, but the latter colors the perception of the group. My experience with “asexuals” has been much the same. Unfortunately, this isn’t the sort of thing that can be worked on in online space. The myriad of subtle data we process about each person we interact with is lost in lines of text on a screen. Since we hardly ever encounter the truly asexual, all we see is the wannabees, scared uber-geeks, and hipsters.
That’s horrible logic.
That’s probably a good majority of them. There’s also some possibility of their drive increasing or decreasing based on likelihood of success. I’m not really a drinker, but I don’t usually get much of an opportunity. If I moved next to a bar with friendly patrons, who knows what my predisposition would be.
Also, I’m self reporting that I fell into your honey pot, and was mildly disappointed that it wasn’t a joke URL about klieg lights or something.