Ask Donald Trump

[Wesley_Clark]

@Morgenstern

Donald, do you think you could hook me up with [del]Melina[/del], [del]Malea[/del], [del]Mililla[/del], your old lady?

Her name is ‘expiration date April 26th, 2020’

[Son_of_a_Rich]

With your tough guy demeanor, are you emulating the mobsters you and Dad worked with in New York?

[TriPolar]

@Son_of_a_Rich

With your tough guy demeanor, are you emulating the mobsters you and Dad worked with in New York?

@Donald Trump

Emulating mobsters?! Believe me, if anything the mobsters were emulating us. We were tough, fair but tough. You can’t trust contractors, we had to be tough with them. That’s why I’m such a great president, I’m tough. I’ll work with anyone, even Democrats, even the Democrats who dreamed up this Russian conspiracy to cover up the FBI and Hillary’s uranium deal with Russia. That’s how we working in the real estate business, we were willing to work with anyone, but we were tough when we needed to be. One time I took a look at a building going up and from a mile away I could see one of the windows was off by just a quarter of an inch. Just one quarter of a inch but I could see it a mile away. And the contractors tried to say there was nothing wrong, everything was fine, but I was tough and I made them measure it. And when they did measure it proved I was right. That’s why I had to be tough, just like I’m tough on congress, and tough on the FBI and the CIA and all those other deep staters who don’t want America to be great again. But I’m tough, tougher than any mobsters. Just find some mobsters and ask them who’s tougher, they’ll tell you nobody is tougher than Donald Trump.

…

[SteveG1]

@Chefguy

When are you going to do us all a favor and just fucking die, already?

This, over 9000

[kambuckta]

Dear Mister President of the USA. I live a long way away, in another country (I doubt you’ve heard of Australia, it’s a big country with four syllables so you probably can’t pronounce it either) but I have a question all the same.

Did you know that you are the laughing-stock of pretty much the entire world?

And what’s with the hair? Ok, that’s two questions, sorry.

[running_coach]

@kambuckta

Dear Mister President of the USA. I live a long way away, in another country (I doubt you’ve heard of Australia, it’s a big country with four syllables so you probably can’t pronounce it either) but I have a question all the same.

Did you know that you are the laughing-stock of pretty much the entire world?

And what’s with the hair? Ok, that’s two questions, sorry.

Actually he has, one of his first acts as President was to insult your Prime Minister and bitch about taking some of your refugees.

[kambuckta]

@running_coach

Actually he has, one of his first acts as President was to insult your Prime Minister and bitch about taking some of your refugees.

Sure, but he would have forgotten by now and probably thought we were Austria anyway.

[running_coach]

@kambuckta

Sure, but he would have forgotten by now and probably thought we were Austria anyway.

If he thought that, he would have asked your PM about Arnold.

[Chefguy]

I note that your new Presidential coin has been changed from a simple presidential seal and e pluribus unum to a gaudy, tacky piece of shit with your name plastered all over it. So rather than being about the person it’s given to, it’s once again all about you. My question is: why are you such a clueless fucking wanker?

[Beckdawrek]

Hey, Donnie, how many times did your Mom drop you on your head as an infant?

[TriPolar]

@Chefguy

I note that your new Presidential coin has been changed from a simple presidential seal and e pluribus unum to a gaudy, tacky piece of shit with your name plastered all over it. So rather than being about the person it’s given to, it’s once again all about you. My question is: why are you such a clueless fucking wanker?

@Donald Trump

I’m glad you like the new coin! Everybody’s talking about the new presidential coin. Doesn’t it look great! Let me show you, see it’s got lots of gold, that’s what Donald Trump means, gold. Everybody loves gold, right? And it’s got my name on it because I am the president. That’s what the coin is, the President’s Coin, and I’m the president. That’s why my name is on it, because it’s the President’s Coin and who else’s name would you put on it? Not Hillary’s name. Even after millions of fraudulent votes for Hillary I still won because more people voted for me than anyone else. Anyone else ever. That’s why this is the most important coin you can get, the Trump Coin.

…

[aldiboronti]

@Chefguy

When are you going to do us all a favor and just fucking die, already?

President Pence is not what I’d term a favor. Better the devil you know.

[Morgenstern]

@Chefguy

I note that your new Presidential coin has been changed from a simple presidential seal and e pluribus unum to a gaudy, tacky piece of shit with your name plastered all over it. So rather than being about the person it’s given to, it’s once again all about you. My question is: why are you such a clueless fucking wanker?

Not nearly narcissistic enough. It needs some orange hair at the top.

[Kobal2]

@Chefguy

I note that your new Presidential coin has been changed from a simple presidential seal and e pluribus unum to a gaudy, tacky piece of shit with your name plastered all over it.

Trump’s name appears not once, not twice, but three times on that single coin.
Not even the kings of old managed that, and the only reason they stamped coins in the first place was for personal aggrandizement & propaganda.

Checkmate, Caesar !

[Beckdawrek]

You can also get a Donald Trump chia head, don’t make me care enough to go get it, though.

[Morgenstern]

@Beckdawrek

You can also get a Donald Trump chia head, don’t make me care enough to go get it, though.

I’ll bet that one is so packed with shit it grows mushrooms.

[Beckdawrek]

I don’t know, it may be full of air!

[SteveG1]

@running_coach

Will the public blowjob from Republican members of Congress be a weekly thing? Were you aware of the practice of snowballing?
Did you know you could make money on this by making it Pay-Per-View?

I have a strong stomach and I generally like such things as gross-out humor, but that was some gut churning shit there.

[SteveG1]

@Beckdawrek

Hey, Donnie, how many times did your Mom drop you on your head as an infant?

Not nearly often enough, or hard enough.

[WillFarnaby]

Some of your progressive opponents wish George W. Bush would be president, even though he sowed much more death, destruction, and authoritarianism than you could in your wildest dreams. What do you make of that?

Since your election, many of your progressive opponents’ wives are experiencing NPR anxiety and have taken to the bottle, falling into wine comas before the poor guys can get it up. Does your knowledge of this phenomenon influence your Twitter regimen?