Ask me questions about the economy or religion. Ask me questions about facts or opinions. Ask me questions about things that don’t really exist.
I will answer them. I will answer them all as if I were Bush or Kerry. I will tiptoe around the questions so well that you won’t remember what you asked.
But please, let’s be serious.
What is your favorite color?
Mr. Pow…
How do you plan on rooting out the corruption running high in our government?
America is a place where there should be no favorite color, but unfortunately, the sad truth is that not all colors are equal in America. In fact, color favoritism is responsible for many of the problems of America. I will run my administration in such a way that not having a favorite color is enforced.
What country do you like better…China, or Taiwan?
Al-Qaeda has aquired a nuclear weapon. The only way you can prevent them from using it against the U.S. is by launching a massive nuclear attack to destroy the entire country the terrorists are hiding in. Do you do it?
Chairman: Corruption runs high in many governments in the world, more than we’d like to admit. Corruption is a problem that must be dealt with if we are to have a government free from corruption. In fact, one could say that corruption is the root of such problems. I plan to root out corruption just as I would root out roots growing in the sewers in my ranch.
Uh, excuse me a second. <sips water>
Wireless thing conspicuously sticking out of my back: (that’s rout sir)
Chairman: Next!
If a train left Chicago at 6 pm travelling at 105 mph, and another train left NYC at 5:30 pm travelling at 210 kph, at what time will they pass each other and what soup will be served in the dining car?
Per the rules of this debate, only one question is allowed at a time, but because I am accomodating and flexible and fair, I will answer both of your questions together.
One of the big problems with America is that there is a sense of entitledness that runs deep. People think they can get away with things just…because. I aim to stop this sort of unconscionable behavior because America is for Americans. I strongly belive that. My opponent however…
My opponent says that the vessles are not inspected. That the containers are not inspected, that the luggage is inspected but not the cargo. This is nonsense. Our borders are stronger now than they have been in a long time. Or security is stronger than it has been in a long time. Our knowledge of what is in those vessles, those luggages and those cargoes is unparalleled. We have equipment and manpower to take care of all that.
But I will admit it’s not perfect. When (re)elected, I will make sure that there are more inspectors and equipments. Not because they are falling behind now, but because the economy will improve and we’ll need them to inspect all of the increased cargo and luggage.
Wow, your answers are wise, and make so much sense.
Tell me, how much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
Chairman Pow–if that is your real name–why are there two monkeys and a rhinocerous hiding underneath your podium?
“What is Pi, to the fouth digit?”
Mr. Chairman, several national polls of the American people feel that you are skirting the issues to further your own agenda and that you are not “being straight” with Americans. How do you respond to this?
Mr. Candidate, do you like chocolate?
I’m glad that you understand that only one of us on this podium has the answers. What this country needs is strong leadership and I’m the guy to lead it into the next millennium.
It’s important to be in touch with your consitutency no matter what their political affiliation. Characterizing them as animals is a little silly, something for the sloganeers which is something that my opponent runs into: slogans and not substance. I repeat: slogans and no substance.
Obesity in America is a growing problem. Medicare and Medicaid are strained to the limit. Strained because my opponent has cut their funding in favor of pork barrell projects in his own state. These two things need to be stopped. While I like pie as much as anyone, enough is enough!
I ask them to look in the mirror. How can the Presidency act in a manner inconsistent with the people? How can a Commander in Chief be expected to do what is wrong. He speaks of fidelity, of staying the course. Where was he in Vietnam? Where was he in the Air National Guard? Now, while thousands of young ones are risking their lives, what is he doing?
I’ve already made my feelings on this issue known.
Funny stuff.
How do you plan to make the straight dope message board a better place?
Mr. Pow,
Do you drive a car?
I’ve been cheated…been mistreated…
When will I (hiiiiii) be luuuuved???
Please explain the appeal of Pee-Wee Herman.
Mr. Pow, are you in agreement with Russia’s policy in Chechnya? If not, what do you intend to do to pressure them to change it?