What should our foreign policy be concerning Freedonia and the avowed Marxists in control of the government there?
Did you write the book of love, and do you have faith in God above?
Chairman, your opponent claims to have some damning video evidence showing you in various sexual acts with a number of goats and calamari.
How do you respond?
Dear Chairman;
I recently received a mailing entitled: “The Last Chance To Preserve Marriage in Oregon.” The mailing was subtitled “Seven (EVIL!) Facts You Must Know.”
I read the pamphlet whilst holding my nose against the stink of hatred, and yet I failed to find seven facts. I could only find seven (republican) candidates running for office
giving their opinions that marriage was under attack if we let gay/lesbian people marry. Can I sue the conservative party for the cost of the manual labor it took me to extract their dreck from my hallowed mail-box and the subsequent trash bill to haul it off my premises? Garsh, they led me to believe that marriage was under attack! I was starting to worry that Al Qaeda was going to start bombing weddings! In addition; I believe I sprained my sense of common-sense during the 90 seconds it took me to peruse their drivel. My common-sense will recover, but the trauma! the friggin trauma!
Calamari? What’s the problem? Unless it’s fried. That’s just sick.
Ahem.
“Chairman Pow, I have one thing to say: SKULL AND BONES!!”
“Are you, sir a member of the Turtle Club?”
heh heh, nobody can wriggle out of those!
*Chairman Pow, does this look infected to you?
Candidate Pow, who’s more foolish-the fool, or the fool who follows him?
How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop?
How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck can chuck wood?