Would this group hug be skyclad?
I would honey except for the fact that it is hard to travel that far and find a babysitter for five heathens!
You wouldn’t have to participate honey you could be the camera man! 
I wouldn’t think that that would infringe on your vows? I could be wrong.
Two words: “Grandma’s house.”
Or two other words: “Summer camp.”
As for running the camera, sure! I think that anything that doesn’t involve any actual insertion of Little Chef (not to be confused with Chef Jr. – ewwwwww) into another person would be okay.
In fact I sometimes think that doing…other things she refuses to do would be justifiable. But so far I have been unable to truly convince myself that THAT little piece of rationalization is true. sigh. I’m one well-protected hunk of Big Sexy, I really am.
Live a Lush Life
Da Chef
Sorry, i have nothing to add except that this thread is totally awsome dude. I have learned a lot. I have nothing to ask because I can’t think of anything that has not already been said. I also thought I might help bump this to the top to keep the interest going (hopefully).
I give it a 10 
My, my, my - I don’t get any possible dates and/or orgies out of my thread! You should consider yourself lucky, Bi Guy. 
Meaning?
Esprix
Ask the Gay Guy! (or, if you prefer the Jesusfied version, Asketh the damn Priest Guy!)
“Never assume a malicious intent when stupidity will explain just as well.”
{This space reserved for a Genuine WallyM7 Sig™}
What I meant, Esprix, was that sometimes when I’m feeling deprived the devil on my shoulder starts whispering in my ear (to pick a particular act), “Look. She refuses to go down on you. So would it be SO WRONG if you went out and got someone ELSE to go down on you? It’s not like you’d be depriving her of anything - you’re just…outsourcing.”
Before anyone starts jumping on me for this flagrant bit of rationalization, see my above post; devil-in-my-ear has yet to convince me with this line of reasoning, because of course I WOULD be depriving her of something – namely, a faithful husband. Darn it. If I were a little shallower I’d have a lot more fun.
[harvey fierstein voice]I just wanna be LOVED. Is that so WRONG?[/harvey fierstein voice]
Live a Lush Life
Da Chef
tap tap
Is this thing on?
I swear, sometimes I think this message board is powered by a twisted-up rubber band. I answered Esprix, sent a test post, and still nothing. Grrr.
Live a Lush Life
Da Chef
Yeah, the board’s been wonky again - went down earlier.
Don’t worry, Chef, we all know you’re faithful and will remain that way.
Me, I’m glad I’m single…ish.
Esprix
Ask the Gay Guy! (or, if you prefer the Jesusfied version, Asketh the damn Priest Guy!)
“Never assume a malicious intent when stupidity will explain just as well.”
{This space reserved for a Genuine WallyM7 Sig™}
Cheffie: Our Haiku-guru. Posted this over in the Who’s Queer? Thread at MPSIMS, and was encouraged to send it this-a-way. Here ya are. Discuss.
I know you already covered this a little bit in this thread, but just for kicks, wanna go at it again?
A little persistance goes a long way. Announcing:
“I go on guilt trips a couple of time a year. Mom books them for me.” A custom made Wally .sig!
Yes. However, it was a long time ago and the cultural acceptance level has changed quite a bit since then. Also, it’s never happened with anyone in a relationship - they were friends/acquaintances. I don’t think that any of my SOs have/had/would have had/will have a problem.
In my world, ‘black’ and ‘white’ are merely extremes in the spectrum of ‘grey’.
As I said before, I would be more shocked to find that someone had a problem telling me something so important very early on in the relationship - I think I’m a pretty open-minded, comfortable-to-talk-to kind of guy. But the fact that he were bisexual? Makes not one whit of difference to me.
Of course, if he dumped me for a {gasp} woman, I think I might get a little cranky about that…
Esprix, who needs to whittle down this cumbersome sig line, but I’m using it here anyway.
Ask the Gay Guy! (or, if you prefer the Jesusfied version, Asketh the damn Priest Guy!)
Evidently, I rock.
“Never assume a malicious intent when stupidity will explain just as well.”
{This space reserved for a Genuine WallyM7 Sig™}
Re: Bisexuality revelations (BRs) and the attendant fallout…
As noted above, the infamous Ally McBeal episode was a rare opportunity to get a glimpse into Mrs. Chef’s possible reaction to a BR, a subject that has long weighed on my mind. The results were not encouraging. tremulous sigh
I have been looking back and I’m forced to admit that I’ve never actually revealed my bisexuality, dramatically, to an unsuspecting person…unless you count this thread. Which I suppose we should.
Rather, I just placed myself in environments where my orientation would be assumed by those around me (e.g. a gay bar). As I’ve previously noted, back when I was actively dating both men and women I kept those two circles strictly separate. That’s not the way I’d do it now if I were single, but I was still suffering from wrong-headed notions about my attraction to men, left over from military school.
Now then. I’ve noticed that no one has posted to this thread and said, “If my sweetie revealed to me that he/she was bi, I’d freak out and bail on the relationship…ewww ewww ewww.” This should NOT be taken to mean that no one here feels that way. They may be reluctant to espouse such a viewpoint in view of the pro-bi bias in this thread. It’s also possible that some people may honestly believe they’d react positively to a BR simply because they’ve never actually been faced with it. It’s not so hard to imagine a man saying, “I’d love it if my girlfriend were bi,” because his perceptions of female bisexuality are warped by countless pornos where the two women are pleasuring each other in extremely awkward positions (the better to accomodate the camera), only to immediately coo, “Ooh, that big stiffie of yours is just what was missing from this party, big boy…come join us,” when interrupted by the owner of the aforementioned stiffie. Never mind that two women making love, even if they ARE bi, are much more likely to shriek, “Get the HELL OUT OF HERE!!!” when interrupted like that. My point here is that people may think they’d react positively to a BR because it’s in the abstract, whereas they might react differently when faced with the concrete reality of it.
Another factor that is skewing the results here is that many of the posters to this thread are themselves bi or gay. I think we can all agree, that probably would foster a more positive reaction to a BR.
Still, I can’t help but hope that one day some couple I know will say, “Cheffie, we’re bi,” followed by, “And we want you to come in the bedroom and run the videocamera.”
Live a Lush Life
Da Chef
Uh, wasn’t that offer already put to you in another thread?
Esprix
[hijack]
It seems that we have a fair number of poly folk hereabouts. Considering some of the past & recent postings, do we need an “Ask the Poly People” thread? Given the wide-ranging nature of poly (not to mention time available for SDMB), seems like it would have to be a group effort, no?
Since most of the polys I’ve seen posting have been on this thread, thought this would be the best place to ask.
On the other hand, I’d hate to steal postings from Chef.
What d’ya think?
[/hijack]
In my world, ‘black’ and ‘white’ are merely extremes in the spectrum of ‘grey’.
Nah, there’s too much chance that ultra-conservative pantsuit-wearing fundie women would think “Ask the Poly People” was a thread devoted to polyester and then have their eyeballs explode when they saw the awful truth.
Just post your questions here, my pretty polys.
Live a Lush Life
Da Chef
Yes.
but I want them to be standing RIGHT HERE.
And to MEAN IT.
Live a Lush Life
Da Chef
Hi there, Bi Guy,
Just thought I’d chime in, not with a question but some comments.
I’ve found this thread to be very interesting. When I first read that you hadn’t told your wife about your bisexuality, I felt that you were withholding information from her that she should know. But when I read your responses on that subject, I came to see that this is something you have given a lot of thought to, and that this is the right decision for you. It makes me a little sad to think that your wife is not open in that area, but there’s not a lot you can do about that. I really came to equate it with my situation in past relationships where I’ve chosen not to reveal much about my sexual history, because, well, let’s just say I’ve been around the block more than a couple of times. I told my last bf very little about it because I knew it would bother him, and it really wasn’t germane to the situation. I have a condition that I did tell him about because it did affect him and he needed to know about it before we got sexually involved. Other than that, it’s really not his business. So you managed to change my mind about something I thought I was pretty sure about before that.
Also, let me just say how sad I am that your wife won’t go down on you–truly, I mean that. I used to be very reluctant to do it, mostly because of the way fellatio is portrayed in some media, and the way some men talk about it, as very demaning to the woman. In my last relationship, my bf managed to convey to me how important it was to him, and how much he would like it. So I accommodated him, and after a while I actually started to like it myself–and got pretty good at it, if I say so myself (boy, is this going to make me popular around here!). I was able to enjoy it because I loved him and I saw how much pleasure it gave him. Besides, what a feeling of ultimate power–I could have gotten him to give me his car if I’d asked at the right moment. So, I don’t know how hard you’ve tried, but if there’s still a chance, let her know again how very much it would mean to you–though I do realize that some women just make up their minds about it and there’s no changing it. If only they knew…
BUT, I do agree with your decision to not seek it outside of your marriage. I believe very strongly in the sanctity of marriage (OK, overused phrase, but I think it sums it up best), and that when you take that vow, that’s it. I knew married men in the Navy who would get blowjobs from hookers and say “Eatin’ ain’t cheatin’.” Well, in my book it is. And unlike some whose moral codes come from a preacher somewhere, mine is from experience. To the people who have said in this thread that poly relationships work for them, please don’t think I am condemning you. If it works for you, that’s great. I just haven’t met very many people for whom that truly does work, and that includes myself. Besides, if both people have taken a vow to remain faithful to each other, then you gotta take that very seriously.
OK, enough rambling from me. Chef, I’ve been reading your posts over the course of my lurking time, and if I wasn’t too embarrassed to say it, I would have added your name to the “crushes” thread. All right, I’m blushing now. Gotta go!
The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between the lightning and the lightning bug.
Mark Twain
My current lover, John, whom I have been with for two years, completely freaked out about my bisexuality when he first found out. After some talking I was finally able to get him to understand that it in no way has any impact on our relationship, nor does it make me more likely to break any of our agreements regarding an exclusive relationship than if I were a het.
Alright then where to start?
Well, the reason I would never dream of starting my own thread about the way I live my life is out of respect for the Chef and Esprix. They were nice enuff to give us all a safe haven to be ourselves, and I am not about to rain on the parade.
And just so nobody gets offended the reason I posted in Chefs’ thread instead of Esprixs’ is because like I asked in my first post here where do threesomes fit in life.
I have had at least two different times when I have been to the gay clubs with my friends and have been hit on by women. Not that this is a bad thing, but when I mention that I am married to a man no less, the turn the other way.
I am a sexual freak! I like it that way! I say it proudly! Were here were queer, were loud and proud! Yes, I do use freak as an endearing term. Is that wrong?
Everybody in all four threads dealing with same-bi-tri-sex has been really well behaved about the whole thing which is cool. Also that everybody is respecting others rights to be outed or not.
I had a friend of mine kinda come out to his family after two years of them trying to out him. It has not been pretty. His father and brother literally want to hurt him, and his mother doesn’t know how to react, so she isn’t. He called me this morning upset because this is the first holiday he will be missing with his family. That is sad! I have no idea what I would do if my family didn’t take me as I am.
My mothers’ girlfriend had a hard time with her family at first. Two out of six girls in the family are gay. What odds!
I have another friend of mine who is now a woman. When I first met him he wanted to know all about my life because I was the first person he met who was raised by lesbians. His family hated him, and I haven’t had a chance to ask him how they feel about him being a her now.
He used to tell my sister that he wanted her body. It usde to irritate her boyfriend at the time because he didn’t get it. Our friend didn’t want her sexually, he wanted her body shape. It just sounded funny when he would blurt it out in front of people who didn’t know that he was becomming a woman!
Mistress Kricket
Are you stuck on stupid?
Hey, when I first started posting on the SDMB I got the impression that I was a thread killer.
Now that I have been here for a while and people are getting to know me and I them, they are no longer afraid to follow my posts.
See the point I am trying to make here?! Please don’t let me kill another thread!!!
Okay, I know, I will ask a question and then somebody has to answer!!!
When did anybody here come to the realization that they were gay or bi? I mean what major turn of events made it dawn on you that you had more than a passing interest in the same sex?
Okay, Chef, I think I bumped it sufficiently now for a while.
Mistress Kricket
Are you stuck on stupid?