Ask the closeted bisexual guy!

Great Debates
161

I had a couple of experiences at summer camp that were the official beginning of my history of intimate contact with other males, but I don’t consider those encounters the beginning of my bisexuality, because (I’m not sure this makes sense) it wasn’t really like a sexual encounter, more like just goofing around. For me it began at military school. As you might imagine, in a testosterone-soaked environment like that, there was endless speculation about whether so-and-so was a “fag.” People would eagerly gossip about boys who had been caught in the act, and describe what they’d been doing in an “isn’t that GUH-ROSSS!” way. Only it didn’t gross me out; as Garth said in “Wayne’s World,” it made me feel funny – like when we climb the rope in gym class.

Live a Lush Life
Da Chef

162

I pretty much answered mine in the Gay Guy thread, but for the sake of it, I remember having a huge puppydog crush on Freddie White in the 4th grade. I was always imagining kissing the boys in junior high. And I fell in love with my senior class president. I came out in my first year of college, and had sex for the very first time about a year later. Now I’m just a flamer. :wink:

Evidently, I rock.
Ask the Gay Guy!

163

I pretty much answered mine in the Gay Guy thread, but for the sake of it, I remember having a huge puppydog crush on Freddie White in the 4th grade. I was always imagining kissing the boys in junior high. And I fell in love with my senior class president. I came out in my first year of college, and had sex for the very first time about a year later. Now I’m just a flamer. :wink:

Esprix

Evidently, I rock.
Ask the Gay Guy!

164

Will any of your other personalities be posting this story too, Esprix?

wink

Live a Lush Life
Da Chef

165

Okay, I’s got a question. (And Chef will love me for bumping the thread…)

How do you know if you’re bi? Stupid question, perhaps, but I’m curious. I have a friend that’s bi, and I’m really close to her. And have fantasized about her on occassion. Does this make me bi? (Not that I’d mind…I admit to being curious anyway.)

166

Dear Bi Guy,

First, we hear at SDMB are honored you have outed yourself to us.

Secondly, I agree whole heartedly with Cristi in the comment of this is one of the nicest threads I’ve ever read. I wish
I could print this out and staple it to my bible totin’ retarded ‘gay people become gay by choice’ moronic sister in law, but then she just might enter my sanctuary, the SDMB, well, I’d have to go back to sock puppets for an outlet.
Since the darn UBB codes seem to be all out of whack, I’ll opt for this: The Lovely and talented BI Guy wrote,

“I have been looking back and I’m forced to admit that I’ve never actually revealed my bisexuality,dramatically,…”

Have you considered donning a cape and mask and leaping out of the closet proudly declaring, " Have no fear, BI GUY is here?" :slight_smile:
Ok, on to serious stuff: What would Shirley do if her husband told her he was bi? (Doesn’t that sound like a soap opera cliff hanger or what?)

When I met Mr. Ujest and all the years dating him, I actually suspected him of being gay. He is as far from the stereotype of the flame boys out there as you can get. Short & husky, furry, balding, construction stuff,flannel shirt & pickup truck and rifle, plays hockey and all the other manly sports, you get the idea.Basically, in a nutshell, he’s a knuckle dragging ESPN beer drinkin’ guy. However, He’s got incredible taste, a good cook and a host of other superlatives that are not indicative to gayness ( or is it faggotry?) Wears his heart on his sleeve and sensitive.
( He’s a pouter not a fighter, much to my chagrin.)

One of his closest friends actually said to me that Mr. Ujest was more of the woman in the relationship and I was more of the man. I could only agree. ( I’m straight, unless you count short hair and comfortable shoes as the mark of a lesbian.) I’ve got a tougher hide ( and skull to match.)

But when I explained to this friend ( a couple years after the fact, I’m slow, sue me.) that the reason I’m not girly…not girly, I hate that word but it’s late and I can’t think of anything better, is because I’ve have had to be the strength for my immediate family and we/I have been crapped on one time too many. Mr. Ujest comes from a great loving trusting family where life did not start crapping on them until 1991 (where my family has been under a crap downpour since the mid 1970’s with no end in the immediate sight.) and even after that they are ALL a sunshine-shines- out-the- butt-you-can-do-anything-once-you-put-your-mind-to-it kind of family.

I am ee-ore ( the sad donkey in Pooh - how do you spell his name, btw?), he is a friggin happy boy. He is Ying to my frickin’ Yang.

I still married this person. ( Today is our 7th anniversary too.)

It would not bother me that he was bi. He could be tri or Quattro, for all I care, it still wouldn’t change two facts:

  1. I love him. 2) He couldn’t pick up his dirty underwear if I promised all the Craftsmen line of tools.
    That’s it.

I’ve probably just murdered this thread, but I did it with the candle stick in the library…hey, that sounds like a plot to a porn flick.

167

Oh yeah, I got a question too.

Dear Bi Guy,

When your gate was swinging both ways, did you look for the same physical traits (blonde, blue eyed vs red heads) in men and women?

168

Actually no. Women that catch my eye tend to be either natural redheads (and yes, you CAN tell even if they have their clothes on) or brunettes with green eyes and those wonderful arching eyebrows, like Sherilynn Fenn from Twin Peaks. (I should point out that Mrs. Chef has brown hair and looks almost but not quite completely unlike Sherilynn Fenn - so obviously my attraction to her goes beyond the physical. Lucky for me.)

The men I’m attracted to, on the other hand, have historically been either very blond…or very black. There was a bass player in a jazz band I saw once or twice in those days who was like a genie - deep dark skin, shaved head, gold hoop earring, startlingly white teeth…I LOVED to watch him play and NEVER got up the nerve to speak to him. misty faraway look

169

Fine…answer her question but not mine! I’m hurt! sob

(Nah, not really.)

170

Fine…answer her question but not mine! I’m hurt! sob

(Nah, not really.)

171

I’ll answer if ya want.

I think that this doesn’t make you bi, just bi-curious. I have known some people who were curious, tried it, and found it wasn’t for them. Right now, you’re curious about the unknown, and since you have a friend that leans both ways, you feel safe to making her the subject of your wonderings.

Now, if you were to experiment with her and find that you really, really liked it, then you could consider yourself bi and your friend could get her toaster.

172

If you’re not really hurt, why do you keep bringing it up?

I’m sorry. I admit it, I answered Shirley first because her question was about my favorite subject, namely me. :wink:

Getting to your question, I’d have to say the evidence isn’t in yet. As someone who is still exploring her sexuality, you may just be heading for a little experimentation (or not…I haven’t seen your dance card, after all, and the Sadie Hawkins number may or may not be filled in already).

I say, why not explore these feelings before you feel compelled to hang a sign around your neck? You may like women so much that you want to make them part of your sensual repertoire from now on. Or you may try it a couple of times, then stick to us y-chromosome types from then on. Who knows?

Of course, all this may just be part of a denial exercise designed to distract yourself from the fact that you’re a Chefosexual. It ain’t just a river in Egypt, honey. wink

173

Erm, just in case Max reads this thread, I meant to say she’s a Maxosexual. Damn typos…

174

Who’s Max? :confused:

Esprix

175

Hi all
I’ve been lurkin on this thread too (as I was on the ATGG thread) but man, these are great! I’ve learned lots.

Esprix, Cheffie, I’d like to officially offer my services as the Straight Guy you were mentioning earlier (the triumverate advice column :)).

The only thing is that society has basically run all over the straight side of things already. But hey, I like you guys so much I just have to volunteer.

-Shad

176

Max is my boyfriend, Esprix. :wink: He’s MaxTorque on the board.

177

We’d love to have you, Shad, but I’m concerned about taking on a writing gig with someone who can’t spell “triumvirate.”
:wink: just kidding. I’ll give the concept some more thought and email the two of you.

178

Ugh caught with an “E” where my “I” should be.

That’ll teach me to use big words. :slight_smile:

-Shad

179

Don’t be self-conscious about it, Shad. We here at Ask Bi Guy don’t judge the orthographically challenged as long as they are making an effort to improve themselves.

Just remember, you can’t spell “bisexual” without “i” and “e.”

grin

180

^ Bump ^

thahts okey. eye’m glahd u ar soh fergybing. I amb triing two emprouve, reely i am.