Esprix wrote:
Well, I wouldn’t say anyone. Heterosexual couples wishing to conceive are probably not going to help each other by using condoms. 
{sigh}
“… except those in long-term monogamous relationships who so choose to do without them.”
Esprix
Ask the Gay Guy! (or, if you prefer the Jesusfied version, Asketh the damn Priest Guy!)
“Never assume a malicious intent when stupidity will explain just as well.”
{This space reserved for a Genuine WallyM7 Sig™}
My own humble opinion is that gay guys tastes are more like straight guy’s tastes that straight girl’s (or even women’s). Youthful apperence, e.g., is more important for men than women. Women value hight. I know everything is subjective, but there are generalizations about what is attractive.
Virtually yours,
“Feynman was wrong.
I understand Quantum Physics completely.
Anybody seen my drugs?” - A WallyM7™ .sig
There was a bathhouse open just a couple years back in Chicago, but I think it’s closed now. An aquaintance of mine worked there. (He says as a towel boy, but another friend says the first guy was actually the person who cleaned the place of any miscellaneous juices, and is too embarrassed to say. I’m inclined to believe the second story.)
Oh, I guess I did forget to mention - there are clubs I’ve been to (in NY at least) where back rooms are back in fashion. Are they safe? I didn’t go back to check. 
My guess is that the allure of the old-style back rooms is tempting people not to be safe, but probably not everyone. And bath houses are still around (I know of at least one in Philly), but again, I have no idea how safe the environment is.
If I want to get laid, I just log onto AOL. 
Esprix
Ask the Gay Guy! (or, if you prefer the Jesusfied version, Asketh the damn Priest Guy!)
“Never assume a malicious intent when stupidity will explain just as well.”
{This space reserved for a Genuine WallyM7 Sig™}
I hear there is one in Berkeley (I forget the name, i think it was mentioned in a thread a while back). Anyway, suffice to say they still exist. Personally, I wouldnt go to one, the idea of it is kind of freaky to me (anonymous sex? no thanks).
Oh, and I remember a long time ago on my searches through the net for odd, unusual, or freaky websites, I came across one that talked about barebacking, and about men who wanted to give or recieve HIV. Freaky stuff. They even had letters to the website about how some of these men got it, or how they purposely went out of their way to get it. I tried to find the site, but I cant remember it’s proper title.
(not trying to hedge in on Exprix’s thread :))
Hmm…this is the last time I try and reply to a thread at nearly 6 am. Sorry Esprix, for screwing up your name!
[/QUOTE]
AOL is a hotbed of gay activity, whether they like it or not. Go into the user-created chat room list one night, and upwards to 1/3 of them are gay-oriented (“M4M” shows up a lot). Some cities have to open 3, 4, 5 rooms to accommodate all the people wanting to chat.
Chatting on AOL, at least in my experience, equates to “wanting to hook up,” maybe 80% of the time. I very rarely go into a chat room unless I’m looking for some (or at least wouldn’t turn down an offer made, even if I’m not actively looking) - if I want to talk to my friends, we IM or e-mail. I find this to be true of a lot of people (of course not everyone).
When I lived in San Diego for two months in late 1998, I managed to have a new boy each week (I think it was 8 total). I met each and every one of them online - if not on AOL, then through internet ads. I’ve been just as successful (although not all at once like that) meeting people at home here in Philly.
Told ya I was easy.
For the record, I’ve only ever had a very small handful of negative experiences meeting people from online - the overwhelming majority were positive, be they hook-ups/one-nighters, casual acquaintances/friends online, friends IRL, a date, a boyfriend, or a long-term lover (and yes, I’ve met at least one from each category online).
The internet is the greatest thing that ever happened to my sex life.
Esprix
Evidently, I rock.
Ask the Gay Guy!
Thankfully, we’ve mostly passed the days when the gay community is defined by how much sex it has, and moved to a time when people make their own choices, and that is what comprises “the gay community.”
Barebacking really, really scares the hell out of me. Complacancy combined with ignorance and arrogance is such a lethal combination, I just shake to think about the consequences.
And don’t worry about my name - I’ve been called worse.
Esprix
Evidently, I rock.
Ask the Gay Guy!
OK, need to share.
My mother never ceases to amaze me.
Last night on the drive home from work we got to discussing kindness to strangers (my grandmother would always feed someone who came to her door asking for money, because, as she said, you never know when it will be Christ come back to earth). My mother said she always remembered this and thought it was the right thing to do (religious beliefs or no) and how it was wrong to judge people.
She then went on to tell me about a neighbor of hers she grew up with. Evidently he was a retired Philadelphia police officer, and he was gay. He lived with his mother for many years until she died, and then stayed on in her house.
Other people in the neighborhood made fun of him, and she said she always thought that was wrong - he was a nice man, treated everyone nicely, and her mother, also, never treated him any differently than anyone else, never judged him (now keep in mind my mother turned 63 today - happy birthday, Mom! - and this is south Philadelphia in the late 1940’s/early 1950’s).
She did say there was one thing that really got her mad. Evidently this guy had his fair share of “gentleman callers,” because my mother said men would park in front of their house, and then walk around the corner to this guy’s house. What got her mad, though, was that she realized, as she got older, that the men parking in front of her house had wedding rings on. As she put it, “He was who he was and never lied about it, but these men were just liars and frauds.”
Jeez, chalk one up for Ma!
I suppose this explains why, even though at first she had trouble with me coming out, 13 years later she and I can talk about stuff like this.
I’m a lucky guy.
Esprix
Evidently, I rock.
Ask the Gay Guy!
Esprix, I love your mom. I love my mom, too. I don’t think I know any gay guys who prefer their father to their mother. (Two of my friends hate their mother and father equally.) What is that?
I know one or two. I hope this doesn’t resurrect some thread about gay men turning gay from overprotective mothers or distant fathers or anything like that…
Maybe it’s just because Moms tend to be more liberal than Dads? If you’re coming out, you need support, not damnation, and I wonder if, on the whole, Mom is more willing and/or faster to give that support than Dad is?
I love my dad, too, of course. But he and I are too much alike and we argue all the time.
Esprix
Evidently, I rock.
Ask the Gay Guy!
Dear Gay Guy:
Can you help me? I am a member of a dispised subset of humanity-a male who doesn’t like sports! In many ways, it’s like being gay-you have to pretend to like going to baseball/football games, etc. It’s even worse when you are asked to coach a neighborhood youth soccar team-and you don’t know the first thing about what you are supposed to be doing! And, I have to lead a double life-I have to pretend an interest in football, come Superbowl time. I’ve had enough-I want to come out of the closet-how should I do it?
Simple – make your announcement in a mixed group. Sure, all your male friends will instantly despise you, but the women will all suddenly claim to be interested in you. (“I want a man who doesn’t like sports!” is a common women’s lament, you see. Of course, they don’t really mean it. They claim to want “nice” guys, who lavish attention on them and are “sensitive”, but really they’re only attracted to big brutish apes who conk them on the head with their clubs and drag them back to their cave. Not that I’m bitter.)
Gay guy:
-
What’s the worst thing that’s happened to you as a result of being Gay?
-
If I met you in person would I quickly assume you’re gay, or would you have to tell me for me to figure it out.
-
Is gay bashing still prevalent? (somebody pretends to be Gay, lures a gay person into a secluded area for a tryst, then the friends jump out and beat the gay person up)
“Don’t just stand there in Uffish thought!”
-The Caterpillar
And:
- Why are we capitalizing “Gay” all of a sudden?
Have you considered reparative therapy? I understand there are treatments… {SMACK!}
Sorry.
I agree that making a public announcement will get you lots more women friends and dates. Do you really care if your male friends don’t invite you over for Superbowl parties after that?
Esprix
Evidently, I rock.
Ask the Gay Guy!
Bitter old breeder?
Actually, there’s a similar phenomenon I’ve seen in the gay community - “I want a relationship” sometimes really means “I’ll sleep with you and never talk to you again.” :rolleyes:
Esprix
Evidently, I rock.
Ask the Gay Guy!
Scylla asked:
Gay guy:
- What’s the worst thing that’s happened to you as a result of being Gay?
[/quote]
The strain on my family when I came out to them, I guess, but thankfully things have changed dramatically in the ensuing 13 years.
Keep in mind, I’ve been very lucky in my life, so my experience is not necessarily typical (I mean, having a strained relationship with your family for a few years is nothing unique to being gay, but in my case it was the direct cause) - I’ve always had gay friends, I’ve never struggled with trying to understand my orientation, I’ve always had good (albeit short) relationships, never felt I was discriminated against, always been open and proud and never brooked anyone who gave me shit for it, etc.
I have a saying: “Straight people are dumb - they see what they want to see.” My gay friends think I’m a flamer; my co-workers assume I’m straight and find no evidence to the contrary until I tell them. I do some “gay” things (I love Broadway, for example), but I also do some “straight” things (I’m quite the outdoorsman). So when people ask, I just say I’m “me”-acting.
Prevalent? As in, happens frequently? Alas, I don’t have statistics handy, but I can check if you like. I would think a lot of it depends on where you live, as with most crime rates. Hate crimes are being reported more now than ever before, so stats might be a little more revealing. But, at the very basic level, does it still happen? Yes, and way too often for anyone’s tastes.
And tracer asked:
There are some who maintain gay and lesbian should be capitalized like African-American or Asian. Me, I don’t think so, but some do.
I think on here it’s just because we capitalize “Gay Guy.”
Esprix
Evidently, I rock.
Ask the Gay Guy!