Goodness. It already seems that every nuron that fires in Esprix’s brain results in a post to this message board. Why would I wish to know more?
Unfortunately, no. Usually when he’s sitting, he’s not moving much in any way, much less rocking. I expect that as he gets old and gray that he might take up rocking, but right now, I think he has far too many hobbies to pick up a new one like “rocking”.
On the other hand, he does bring a considerable amount of color and amusement to our lives, and is constantly on the move, so I guess you could say he “rolls.” Your mileage may vary.
-JOhn.
Well, you know, that was my thought originally as well. But some kind soul on the #straightdope channel pointed out to me that some money could be made selling Esprix’s deepest darkest secrets to the highest bidders. Since we just bought a house, every extra dollar helps out, so it would have been foolish for us to pass up the opportunity. Therefore, this thread.
Thanks for your contribution to this thread. Your donation to the “Esprix’s Housemates’ Mortgage Fund” (which has been automatically deducted from your checking account) will be put to good use. Since the fund is not an officially recognized charity, your donation is not tax deductible. Keep this receipt for your records. Carpe Twinkium.
-JOhn.
Well, I have to admit I’m kinda embarassed to feel the need to ask this, but it’ll help to interpret some of your answers to questions about Esprix. This may have been answered elsewhere/when, but I haven’t been keeping notes.
It’s also possibly a painfully obvious answer, but I’ve always felt there are no stupid questions, just the stupid people who ask them. So here goes:
You guys gay, or straight, or what?
Hi, my name is JOhn, this is Michael, and we’re…
gonna keep you in suspense for a while. 
Well, okay, you dragged it “out” of me (so to speak). Yes, I’m gay (so there’s yet another “gay guy” to ask). As for my loving, wonderful partner of 8 1/2 years, who the heck knows. I sure hope he’s not straight!
Damn, getting, um, kinda anxious just thinking about him. Honey, where are you? I, um, need you…
Does that answer your question?
-JOhn.
How do you put up with him when he uses AOL? Do you like being his computer tech support person?
Esprix and AOL? Well, you know, you wouldn’t give a Ferarri to a two-year-old, would you? Nah, a kiddie-walker is more Esprix’s speed, and if it comes with pretty, bright colored objects hanging from it, well, so much the better!
AOL is not my preference, but as long as he allows me to support it (no downloading the latest version without me!), it does a pretty good job of keeping him out of trouble. Besides, if I ever need to completely rebuild the computer (which all of us alpha-geeks are compelled to do once in a while), all I have to do is flash the “Serious Sam” CD in front of his face…
As for being Esprix’s tech support, it’s much better than being tech support for my brothers and parents. At least Esprix knows to get out of my way when he breaks something!
-JOhn.
{glares} Don’t you have work to do or something?
Esprix
Eeep!
-JOhn.
About that pic of Esprix on his website…?
Should I panic now since my son is blond, fair skinned, blue eyed AND carries a blanket while sucking his thumb?
Just kidding guys…
Gee, I didn’t even know that Esprix had a website. Boy does it need updating. It says he’s 29 years old. Hey, Esprix, this page is what, a decade or two out of date? And those headshots, pure fodder for “false advertising” claims!
I’ll have to prod him to update the page. The least he could do is get more recent pictures up. Well, I guess he can use paintshop to hid the liver spots and the graying hair…
Oh, yeah, I forgot. I got work or something to do.
Laters,
-JOhn.