Ask the guy who uses answers using other "ask the" threads

[Enderw24]

Got a question? I’ll let other people attempt to answer it!

[sub]With thanks to Idle Thoughts for cobbling together a semi-definitive list for me to peruse[/sub]

[Kent_Clark]

Okay, let’s start with the basics.

What is the meaning of life?

[Lancia]

What happened to my car on New Years eve?

[Enderw24]

@kunilou

Okay, let’s start with the basics.

What is the meaning of life?

Wow. Starting with a rather large one there. Well, let’s ask the guy with all the answers!

@Gozu

I could answer that question easily. But instead, I choose to ask: Do you really want to know that?

.
.
.

And to answer myself: No. You don’t.

Bummer.

[tdn]

Does she or doesn’t she? And what if her hairdresser has no clue?

[Enderw24]

@Lancia

What happened to my car on New Years eve?

Well that seems to be a more localized question. Let’s ask the guy who is hiding in your bushes.

@A Monkey With a Gun

You left the keys in the freezer. They were in your hand when you reached in there for that peperoni hot pocket and you dropped them. The soda was taken by a drunken Lindsey Lohan. You can’t let that chick anywhere near coke.

I have no idea why you were partying with Lindsey Lohan on NYE, but I hope you two had a blast!

[Enderw24]

@tdn

Does she or doesn’t she? And what if her hairdresser has no clue?

The answer is that she does. But don’t take my word for it. Let’s ask about my Brazilian Blowout on The Hair From Hell (aka THFH)

@Scubaqueen

second BB complete and i do notice a difference.

Bridget, Hairdresser Extraordinaire, said the effects are cumulative, and i do see a change. the second application has definitely relaxed the hair shaft even more than before. this is probably the last BB until next spring/summer.

For the record, I’ve read through it and still have absolutely no clue what that thread was about. But there you go!

[Elendil_s_Heir]

Where are my car keys?

[Elendil_s_Heir]

What’s all this I hear about airplanes and treadmills?

[Freddy_the_Pig]

Would I be better off joining the Masons or a militia?

[chiroptera]

Who sang that mid-1990s song featuring a young woman’s spoken voice describing blue sky and clouds, set to trancy-dreamy music?

[twickster]

Should I stay or should I go?

[Enderw24]

@Elendil_s_Heir

Where are my car keys?

Well now, it would be easy to just requote the answer above. But we’ve already asked the guy in the bushes, so let’s move on. Instead, I think we need to ask the psychic!

@Lord_Ashtar

Why do you ask questions to which you already know the answers?

Now Psychic, that’s not very helpful at all. Try again.

@Lord_Ashtar

Please remember, that psychic =! omniscient. I’m not much of a reader yet, but my belief is that they aren’t supposed to give you direct answers about the future so much as tell you what you need to hear. Think of it as a guide. I still believe that you make your own destiny.

Yeah, I think you’re going to have to find your keys on your own, Elendil’s Heir.

[campp]

Ginger or Mary Ann?

[Enderw24]

@Elendil_s_Heir

What’s all this I hear about airplanes and treadmills?

Hmm…let’s ask the guy currently on an airplane! Or was, back in 2009 anyway.

@fighting_ignorant

Nope sorry, guess I was whooshed!

Quite a trick making something go that far over my head, when I myself am 35,000 feet up!

Seriously. What are you doing with a treadmill that high up? Are you on the Jetsons? You know that’s a serious safety hazzard.

@Freddy_the_Pig

Would I be better off joining the Masons or a militia?

I thought about asking the militia guy, but that would be too easy. Plus, since there isn’t an ask the mason thread, it would present an unfair bias in favor of one side. So instead, let’s ask the audiologist!

@Abraca_Deborah

To me, it all depends on the case at hand. I’m aware of the controversy, but as an audiologist, it is my job to educate the parents (whether deaf or hearing) about the various options available to them. I must also support them in their decision to go whichever way they feel is best for their child. I usually have an opinion one way or another, but I keep it to myself because I feel it would be unethical and unfair to voice it, since it may unduly influence parents over what can be a very difficult and emotionally-troubling decision that only they can make.

In short, without the facts of a case at hand, I am not necessarily pro or con either way. It really depends on the individual case.

Hmmm…I hope that this helps settle the matter for you.

[Rigamarole]

A passenger train leaves New York at 6:00 AM traveling to Chicago at 85 MPH. A second train, leaving from Chicago bound for New York leaves at 7:30 AM, traveling at 60 MPH. What types of truffles are being served in the cafeteria car on each train? Please list the varieties and regions of origin.

[Enderw24]

@chiroptera

Who sang that mid-1990s song featuring a young woman’s spoken voice describing blue sky and clouds, set to trancy-dreamy music?

@twickster

Should I stay or should I go?

Oh, two songs eh? I have no idea. But thankfully I don’t need to know. Let’s go ask the opera singer!

@aschrott

You may very well have heard muddy singing–I can’t say–but I would encourage you to go and hear something live if you get the chance. It’s a completely different experience. I would liken the extent of the difference to that of talking to someone on the phone vs. face-to-face conversation. Not only can you hear them fully without any intervening media, but you can see them and feel their presence as well.

Hope that helps!

@campp

Ginger or Mary Ann?

Oh yes, the age old question that every adolescent boy struggles with. Let’s ask the woman who’s currently PMSing!

@Alice_The_Goon

So you’re saying that I’m old?? Is that what you’re saying?? Hey, buddy, I’ll have you know that I have at least ten more years of this! I am NOT OLD!!!
You really think I’m old?

OK, maybe more more questions from the '60s. Sheesh.

[Elendil_s_Heir]

Who wrote the Book of Love?

[Enderw24]

@Rigamarole

A passenger train leaves New York at 6:00 AM traveling to Chicago at 85 MPH. A second train, leaving from Chicago bound for New York leaves at 7:30 AM, traveling at 60 MPH. What types of truffles are being served in the cafeteria car on each train? Please list the varieties and regions of origin.

Eek. That’s a rather technical question. You have biology, botony, spacial reasoning, the works. Time to bring out the big guns. Let’s ask the particle physicist:

@Pasta

What we have is a rather clean description that matches reality. In this description, particles take on a simple mathematical form, and this form also happens to imply a few spooky properties, which is good since these spooky properties are indeed observed. However, IMHO, these properties are spooky only because we have been trained since birth to have a “local” intuition. But, nature didn’t ask us. This isn’t to say that particles are what our description says. Indeed, we can never say what anything is; we can only construct descriptions that match whatever data we have and that are sufficiently useful for human use.

So, apparently, your truffles can taste like anything you dream them to be if you slice them thin enough. SCIENCE!

@Elendil_s_Heir

Who wrote the Book of Love?

Who indeed. Let’s ask the guy wearing a nice pair of brown wing-tips about love, life and his outfit

@Happy_Lendervedder

Oh, mom’s very proud of my creative writing.

Whoa! You mean you wrote the Book of Love, guy wearing a nice pair of brown wing-tips?

@Happy_Lendervedder

First rule of the wingtip shoe contingent: Never talk about the wingtip shoe contingent.
haha I’m just kidding. Actually that’s the second rule. The first rule is: Wear wingtip shoes. The third rule of the wingtip shoe contingent is to joke nervously while trying to avoid questions about the wingtip shoe contingent.

Question retracted then.

[Spoons]

Should I buy a Chrysler?

No, wait. Let me rephrase that as an ethical question

Is it right to buy a Chrysler?