Ask the guy with all the answers

I won’t bore you with such details as my qualifications or the exact definition of “all the answers”. You just worry about asking, I’ll worry about answering.

Tip of the Day: *When you have a problem to solve. Focus on it. Focus like the laser. Don’t be like the lamp. The lamp doesn’t focus on anything and seldom burns or pierces things. *

Last night, I went to go see a reliable $20 whore. The room was filthy but sufficient for the job. She offered me a tuna sandwich which I ate gladly but the thing must have been sitting out for a couple of days and was rank. We did our thing and although the condom broke, I stayed with it only a little while longer. Getting up off the bed, I cut my foot very deeply on this rusty piece of metal sticking off the bed. I drove home but my crappy car was poring fumes in all the way so that I could hardly breath. I crashed into bed.

This morning, I woke up not feeling so well. What is wrong with me and what can I do to fix it?

How should I know? Go see a doctor!

Is it safe?

Is it ever?

Who put the bomp in the bomp-a-bomp-a-bomp?

Dear Omnipotent One,

Where did I put my car keys?

Thanks in advance,

What was Tom Tully’s first movie?

I am confused, very confused, I thought **Cecil ** was the guy with all the answers.

Do you need to be fearful of Og Smashing you?

What… is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?

African or European?

I could answer that question easily. But instead, I choose to ask: Do you really want to know that?


And to answer myself: No. You don’t.

Same continent you’re standing on right now.

Check out

Thank you for saving me the effort.

For a guy who has all the answers, you’re pretty evasive. In fact, I’m beginning to suspect you don’t have all the answers at all. Perhaps some of the answers – perhaps even more than most – but not all.

I said I’d give answers. I said nothing about “good” or “useful” answers. :wink:

If you must know, I prefer life questions such as the ones posed in Posts #2 and #4 in this thread. Questions relating to people’s lives, not encyclopedic facts or other uninteresting trivia like the location of some keys.

Nevertheless. Every question shall be answered.

They’re incorrect. That’s why I gave your service a shot. My mistake.

Good question! The answer is no. Og may or may not smash you. Only Og decides who, what or when to smash. You may be spared or you may be smashed. In either case, living your life in fear of being smashed by Og is futile. Enjoy your smash-free life to the fullest for as long as it lasts!

Well, look at it like this. After you received my reply. Did you know the correct answer? If yes, my job here is done.

As many Old and wise kung-fu masters with long white beards have said throughout the ages: Sometimes, the answer must come from within.

Think about that for a while.