You’ve given me a lot to think about. I hadn’t even considered honduran secret service. Perhaps he’s only pretending when he claims to be of French-Canadian origin.
So yeah, what’s the best course of action?
Who do you think you are?
Where do you get off?
Oh, it’s easy. I’m surprised you didn’t think of it yourself. Wait until the next social gathering both you and the potential Honduran Spy’s Pawn (A.K.A Jaffar) attend. Drink some alcohol and act like you drank double that. Then go and privately tell Jaffar that you think he and his girlfriend are a very sexy couple and you’d like to have a threesome with them.
Then let HIM deal with the situation. His answer will doubtlessly shed more light on his feelings. If things go south, claim you were drunk and have no recollection of what happened. Problem solved.
The champion of the world.
Where do you get off?
[/QUOTE]
Anywhere private.
What do you think? Will they say “yes”?
I think that the way things are, a lot of stuff can happen. It really depends on a bunch of different factors. If things go the way they should, then the results will reflect that. If, however, and this can happen, things don’t work out, well, the result is certainly going to be affected.
So, with all of that in mind, and taking all of the information you’ve given me into account, I estimate the likelihood of them saying yes is 50%.
Tip of the day:When you’re so angry or hurt that you must punch a wall, try kicking it instead. It’s not going to damage the wall anymore than your fist would and you’ll save yourself a great deal of physical pain and hospital bills. Plus, if there are pretty girls around, they will surely be wowed by your elite Kung-Fu skills.
Is it good to know all the answers?
I too knew all the answers but I forced myself to forget them.
Is this not the wiser thing to do?
Is self abuse good or bad? Should I try to find out?
What’s your favorite color?
Oh, it’s neither good nor bad really. Sure, you can show off at cocktail parties and maybe get a few admiring stares but that’s as far as it gets. You can’t actually get rich or famous this way. There are too many phonies out there who also claim they have all the answers. Some of them even claim that they get them straight from God. How am I supposed to compete with that? I tell ya, this calling can be frustrating. Still, helping people see the light has its rewards so it all kinf of evens out in the end.
That’s the coward’s way! I spit on you!
Nah, Just kidding. I sometimes think about forcing myself to forget them but then, I remember that I wouldn’t have the answers to such questions as:
Is it ok to poop on the carpet?
Would dousing myself with gasoline and setting myself on fire hurt me?
Are cats delicious?
Bottom line: I love my cat too much to follow your example. Also, my condoleances to you about the loss of your pets.
Self-abuse is good for some people and bad for others. And yes, you should absolutely try to find out. Worst case scenario, you’ll end up permanently scarred or disabled. Neither of which affects my life in any way.
The color of your eyes
Tip of the day: When applying for a loan, you must have collateral to qualify for the lowest interest rates. Collateral is a banking term that means, and I quote, “stuff”. It’s a good idea to take a bunch of stuff you with you to the bank so they can see how much collateral you have. Broken electric toasters, never-used fondue sets, AOL CDs, old magazines. All this might look like junk to you, but to the bank, it’s gold. Good luck!
Tip of the day:*If you travel to japan, don’t spend your money on hotels. Just buy a sleeping bag and spend your nights in train stations. It’s totally safe. Use the money you save to buy high-tech gizmos and local curiosities (used panties, dried squid snacks,etc.). You’ll thank me for it. *
Thanks Answer Man!
But a friend of both his and I made a point to tell me that he broke up with his girlfriend this weekend. Now to do something foolish…
So, how did the foolish thing go?
I can’t believe no-one’s tried to help poor Shagnasty here. 
It’s obvious - you’re a hypochondriac … very common in the overly cautious.
Best advice is you need something to take your mind off it. Hmmmm.
Might I suggest another visit to Milady?
Gozu, here’s my question. Why am I enjoying this thread so much?
How is it that I just stumbled over this fine thread today???
An excellent question!
The human mind is hardwired to ask questions and seek answers. It’s just the way our brain works. If you’ve ever conversed with a child, you will have noticed that the amount of questions they have to ask is seemingly endless and, after a while, quite annoying. In fact, that’s the reason we adults come up with all those scary stories we tell to children. To get back at them. Hehehe, and we’re very good at it. I mean, we actually got them scared of imaginary monsters in their closets! Hahaha, take THAT you stupid kids. But I’m getting carried away from the original topic.
As I was saying, we seek answers. Sometimes we get them through experimentation as in this hypothetical example:
**Phase I: **
“Is this hunting knife sharp enough to cut through my rectal walls?”
**Phase II: **
<experimentation takes place>
Phase III:
Answer: Yes. Also, please call 911.
But, most often, we obtain answers through someone else. Usually, it’s a parent, a friend, a teacher, a priest or some dead guy who wrote a book a while ago.
Of course, some people have more answers than others. And some people have so many answers that more common, lesser men are drawn to them like flies to cow dung. Hmm, scratch that! Like moths to a flame! Some might even leave everything in their lives behind to follow their newly found guru for, around him, the world is not scary and chaotic. It’s ordered and harmonious.
Now, I’m not saying I’m a wise, beautiful, shiny and delicious guru. I’m much too modest for that. Nor will I say that you enjoy this thread so much because you are discerning enough to recognize the true wisdom and awesomeness contained within.
No sir. I will let you draw your own conclusions!
Tip of the day: When you see dog poop uncollected by the owner, don’t get mad. Collect the feces and make sculptures out of them. That way, you both clean your surroundings AND create beautiful works of art in one fell swoop.
You have your fellow dopers to blame. They are the ones who let it slide into the obscure depths of the digital pit where old threads and maimed hamsters go to die. But let me try and clarify this for you.
See, a thread is like a flower and posters are like ants. Each time an ant replies to a flower, the flower is bounced back to the top of the flower list and other ants can read them.
I hope my example made things clearer to you. Please feel free ask questions in my flower whenever you’re not gathering dead insects.
In the words of the immortal Baba Fats…
“It seems Lord, its always the same, old men or brighteyed youth
It’s always easier to sell them some shit than it is to give them the truth.”
You seem like a pretty sharp guy, Gozu. Would you be interested in a great new Business Opportunity that’s guaranteed to give you Financial Freedom in 2-5 years?
Well, you already answered all the questions I was going to ask…
Well, since you called me a sharp guy, you are clearly wise and perceptive. For no reason whatsoever, I therefore conclude that you must be honest and trustworthy. I don’t even think i need to hear your proposition. Just tell me how much money I should send you and to what address.
Tip of the day*:If you’re depressed, remember that 80% of the pictures on the internet are of naked ladies. If you’re a lady and this doesn’t comfort you, take some naked pictures and post them on the internet, you’ll feel better! Your life can’t get much worse, right?
*