I’m working on them. First, I’m lovely and not demanding. Once these are taken care of, I’ll be a happy fun squad all on my own. Can we not handle all of the above?
Well, she pours your beer for you (minimizing the head, of course), taps the keg when necessary, orders large quantities of absinthe from the Czech Republic, monitors the supply of liquor in the realm of Scylla, and other duties as required by the Happy Fun Squad.
The job description is, of course, always subject to change. And bottles, well, let’s just say we don’t believe in canned alcohol for a reason.
Cadet Alice - Take care of Euty please. Good to have you on the force.
Odie, you’re a daaaarrrling. I’ll put your name down for a promotion.
AlbertRose, you’re MINE.
::::: plasters Albert Rose with hugs and kisses and Happy Fun Squad Secret Weapon :::::::
Resistance is Futile, dearest. Plus, I have a soft spot for math. Triangles ARE fun.
Now come here so I can estimate your ratios… 
Oh, and alice? Do make a flan, dearest.
Scylla, oh greatest of the greatest - we will need an imperial food-tester. I wouldn’t want to feed you anything that might kill you, kitten. And though I am glad to have Alice on the force, I am a bit worried about her going to the other side, with AlbertRose tugging at her and all. See, odieman I trust. Until I have AlbertRose drooling at my feet begging me for more, I will not put your life at risk, dove.
Tattva, I need a few kegs to subdue AlbertRose, STAT!
“That government is best which governs not at all.” [sub] - H. D. Thoreau[/sub]
Oh AlbertRose dear… Scylla’s iron fist of doom… er… generosity has brought you free beer. But this keg and the dancing naked women that come with it only go to those who deserve it. You must accept Scylla as your leader. He is good. He’s got the whole world in his hands.
“Get me some help”? Well, that seems fitting; Canada is a big place, after all. I’ll probably need minions, toadies, boot-lickers, and general hangers-on. And deli clerks. Lots of deli clerks.
Ya know, AlbertRose considering that first my offer of services was ignored by Scylla and then rebuffed by Scylla, and now Erinfair is casting aspursions on my flan, I think that I’m RIPE for corruption…
AND I can do a back bend…
[Edited by Eutychus55 on 06-29-2001 at 05:50 PM]
Unfortunatly, when doing a back bend, my preview button doesn’t work…
So I dont get it. Are you a leader or a God or both or what?!? Cause if your a God your coat’s not very sparkely!
Odieman, seize them!
Scylla, bunny - whatever shall we do about uprisings against your Big Happy Universal Kingdom?
As for YOU, Alice, well! We’ll have AlbertRose lecture you about the wonders of trigonometry and preview buttons until your brain turns to microsoft-style-mush!
…
All this will be done in the most benevolent way, of course.
Right, Scylla-my-dove?
Whammo, of course Scylla is in direct connection with Gawd. Scylla, like the pope, is infalliable.
Now come here, and I’ll make sure you firmly believe that, and grovel like an imbecile at the feet of all members of the Happy Fun Squad.
Scylla: Thanks, man. Can’t tell you how much I appreciate it. I mean, I like bass and all–it works well in the proper context. But pounding out of a vehicle at window-rattling volumes (at 2 am on a Sunday, which actually happened here in my little corner of Scyllaland last weekend), well, that’s not exactly “proper context.”
Because you’ve chosen to grant my humble request, you may sign me…
Persephone,
Humble Resident of Scylla’s New World,
who hereby promises to pay her taxes on time.
Persephone, ever considered a career in the Happy Fun Squad?
Yeah, I’ve just got one question, regarding Tattva’s implementation of the booze aspect of your policymaking, Scylla. What’s the drinking age under your regime?
If it’s anything higher than 20, AlbertRose here i come.
Don’t touch the women, AlbertRose!! They are to be looked at, not touched, unless Scylla or Elenfair gives you permission.
[sup]Tee hee, I brought the keg with the sedatives in it! Look at the little schweetheart get sleepy…[/sup]
Hey Elly, got another blob of testosterone for you!
Oo. Another shapeless heap of gelatinous testosterone. I like.
Scylla, kitten, dove, bunny… where are you?
Sorry, I’ve just been working on overhauling the legal system for my new Utopia. I think I’ve figured out how to make that work well, and eliminate child abuse, poverty, and unemployment all in one fell swoop! If I can just figure out how to tie it in with the economic system I’ve been working on, we should be all ready to go.
Just hold those malcontents in line for a little longer. You’re doing a great job.
Will do, Scylla dearest.
Let me know when The Implementation will begin. I want to be there for the fireworks. Save me a seat by your side.
In the meantime, Odie, be a good boy and fetch me a slice of cake. I need to figure out what to do with AlbertRose.