At the risk of being crude, that's only five, Paul.

Cafe Society
1
  1. Slip out the back, Jack
  2. Make a new plan, Stan
  3. You don’t need to be coy, Roy
  4. Hope on the bus, Gus
  5. Just drop off the key, Lee

There must be 45 more ways to leave your lover. Specifically, there must be at least 45 more one-syllable first names that can be rhymed with brief advice relating to a romantic retreat, at least tangentially (“you don’t need to be coy” is not exactly an escape plan). Common one-syllable men’s and women’s names are acceptable. No re-using names or words that rhyme with names. Please number contributions. I’ll start:

  1. Run out in the street, Pete.
  2. Click your heels and wish, Trish
2

8.Hop on your bike, Mike
9.Head out to the lawn, Ron
10.Put some miles on your heels, Niels

3

…

4
  1. Abandon ship, Chip.
5
  1. Get a new address, Tess.
6
  1. Just make the call, Paul.
7

Just run down the lane, Lane.

8

Stop paying her bills, Will
Write her out of the will, Bill
Drain the accounts, Mount
And set yourself free…

9
  1. Shoot yourself in the head, Fred.
10

If were’re doing this:

  1. Make life a tree and leaf, Steve.
11
  1. Just hop on a vessel, Cecil.
12

And in Bangkok: Sneak out the hotel door, boor.

13

Is it 22 now?

Get caught with a ho, Joe.

14
  1. Kill her dead, Red.
  2. Drop her in a ditch, Rich.
15

Fake your own death, Jeff.
Go in Witness Protection, Jackson.
Get caught dipping your wick, Vic.
Go clinically insane, Zane.

16
  1. Tell her you’re gay, Ray
17

Tell her you’re gay, Ray

18

If there’s ever a simulpost hall-of-fame, I say that one makes it in on the first ballot.

  1. Send her a text, Rex.

In a broader sense, the song does include a sixth way. Start a conversation on the many ways to leave your lover, and when he asks you to explain, tell him he’ll understand in the morning.

19

Go for a swim, Jim.

20

Flight of the Conchords wrote a song in a similar vein.