I have a number of female friends, mostly English, who have dated “Thai boys” as they call them (aged from approx 20-35). With only one exception - that couple is happily married - every. single. one. had at least one other girlfriend, if not a fiancée or wife too.
Which led to some interesting showdowns - a friend of mine was chased down the street by a raging, livid woman she’d never seen before, wielding a broom. Turns out the woman was a) my friend’s boyfriend’s wife, and b) 6 months pregnant.
Reminds me of the raging Thai woman I saw in Singburi province, chasing some Thai man while swinging a butcher’s cleaver. He thought it jolly good fun. Would stop, turn around, wave his penis tauntingly at her – yes, really, it was out of his pants – which would enrage her more and speed her up, so he’d run some more, turn around, wave his penis some more, laughing all the while. I’ve often wondered if she ever caught hold of him.
Who would have known poor nerds as listed in the OP were so ‘exotic’?
The guys who take advantage of women who are signifigantly less mature than them, mislead them into believing it is a relationship among equals with a shared goal, and them leave them high and dry when they get bored are predators, pure and simple. It’s not right.
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These ‘mature’ basement dwelling types as depicted by the OP are significantly more mature? Nerds, at least from my experience (having lived on the fringes when younger) don’t get out much to gain any sort of maturity. They don’t know how to swoop some delicate foreign flower off her feet, nor even if they do read about it on the internet, have the force of will to pull it off.
It sounds like some women here don’t like the fact that some men have found a way around the ‘pussy on a pedestal’ culture that pervades the west?
That you have to assume all of this additional crap about me and my motivations is further intellectual failure on your part. Are you going to assume I am a neckbeard next? An unwashed basement-dweller? That I post what I do in order to fuck SDMB fatties? Go on, keep projecting your “cultural assumptions” on me.
If a person lives a highly sheltered childhood, is it such a big conceptual leap for you to understand that he/she may actually turn out to be sheltered as a young adult? Do you have this much distrust for your powers of observation and practical reasoning in other areas of your own life? Do you live in a Pyrrhonian hell?
Somehow I doubt it. So go peddle your semi-digested poststructuralism to someone who doesn’t know how to read. You are neither interesting nor intelligent enough to self-appoint as the hammer of orientalism. I can read Said perfectly well on my own, thanks.
There is a difference between reading against the grain and simply making shit up. Unlike the great cultural critics of the 20th century, you are self-evidently in the latter category.
On this we definitely agree.
If sweet, tender American middle school girls are exploited by 25 year old football stars, they can typically count on the intervention of the law. Kobe Bryant wasn’t a football star, but even someone with your conceptual limitations can probably make the generalization here.
But the more important question in this context is whether the 25 year old is morally culpable. We aren’t exporting middle school aged males to China to teach English.
If you mean I like to be treated like a capable adult and an equal partner, why yes.
Really, it’s not a nice culture for women. The easiest equivalent is 1950’s America, but even that comparison misses a lot. I know it, because I live it. I’m the one who had to dole out gracious thank yous when I (a late-twenties professional given to wearing lots of black) received a giant pink teddy bear and some poodle mittens from my school as a Christmas present. I am the one who bites my lip when my male students tell me “Well, I don’t want to be a teacher because as a man I expect so much more out of life.” I’m the one who walks slowly because my friends can only walk in hobbled steps on their feet deformed from some many years shoved in cheap heels. I’m the one who corrects my students’ English on job applications that include sections for height, skin tone and bust size. I’m the one who smiles and greets my colleague’s wives one day and mistresses the next. I’m the one who received ZERO students saying they were interested in joining a women’s group. I’m the one that gets told it’s better if I don’t go out to buy noodles alone in the middle of the day. I’m the one who speaks decent Chinese, but inevitably is ignored when I am out with monoglot foreign men and trying to order at restaurants or direct taxis- they just look all confused at the mute guy while I talk. I live this shit every day. And I’ve seen worse, that I’m not even going to talk about. I’m being infantalized, too. That’s how I know it happens. This shit happens to me and sometimes I think I’m the only one who sees what’s wrong.
I don’t feel a bit bad looking down on men who prefer it this way. Sorry.
I cannot wait until things change and my female students get the same sense of opportunity, self-worth, confidence and freedom that I got growing up. I hope they stop “swallowing the bitter melon” and start going after sometimes they want. If that’s cultural imperialism, then so be it. I’m all for how my culture treats women. And when that happens I hope guys holding these attitudes get the worst case of blue balls ever, lasting at least until the start looking at women as full-on human beings. It’s slow going and frankly I haven’t been able to do a thing. It was easier in conservative Muslim women-in-a-veil-and-can’t-go-outside Africa. But maybe some of my students are looking at me living my dreams and getting inspired. That’s why I’m staying here. That’s the biggest reason why I don’t just bail and go somewhere where I’m 100% adult human.
You shouldn’t be moving anywhere for the dating opportunities. You should move somewhere for learning and job opportunities, to learn something about the world and to grow as a person. Meeting chicks is just the icing on the cake.
That said, this guy looks like he did pretty well. YMMV.
I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about women acting like they aren’t as interested in sex as men are and using that as a ‘lever’ to get what they want. And men who having little experience in sex thinking that sex equals love and making decisions based upon that rather than what is best for both partners and especially themselves.
I’m addressing the OP’s proposition that equates men who go to Asia as nothing more than basement dwelling nerds who can’t get laid in North America and extrapolating it by saying they wouldn’t have to go to Asia to get laid if women in North America didn’t use sex as something other than sex.
Maybe at that point people wouldn’t make rash decisions by getting married to the wrong person, etc.
Ain’t that the truth. Where I worked in Osaka all the married teachers got to laugh at all the kids straight out of college who got off the plane expecting to find themselves a doting, docile, domestic little sexpet: those guys got their balls brken in short order.
I had a pal went to Japan to teach English after breaking up with his (white/Caucasian) ex, he’s returning with a girl from London (white/Caucasian) on his arm. The only “hot subservient Asian girl” he had his way with lived in Belfast
