That whole rant was very paternalistic of you. “Someone must protect our poor innocent virgins from the bad foreigners! (because we cant?)”
Sounds like someone has a case of the gwai los!
even sven has a lot of foreign experience. A lot. Her post provides an interesting perspective that I (being your basic parochial American who’s only spent a year in Sicily) would have never thought of.
Also, years ago even sven was a bit of a twit, but has grown out of it. So there’s hope for you yet.
even sven is from California, you toad.
Who gives a shit? ZOMG, protect those poor innocent asian girls from the big bad white male oppressor. Date someone your own age!
Sounds like my fucking in-laws. How about a rant about how whites shouldn’t mingle with the coloreds? You can either base it on some sort of racism or you can base it on some sort of retarded feminist power imbalance. It’s like the veg-e-matic of patronizing paternalism!
Because, as we all know, those little adorable Chinese girls are all shrinking violets who need to be cherished and protected from evil capitalist cock! It’s an ok stereotype because it’s in their best interest, ya’know.
ETA: by the way, I have a savings account! If only the president of the company didn’t have a big stock portfolio – then our love wouldn’t be verboten!
I certainly don’t care about political correctness.
somebody got bent outa shape about somebody being described as half japanese, half american. They got pissy about the half american part.
Yeah, that aint technically correct, but everyone knows WTF that person meant.
What about the half japanese part? Oh wait, you assumed that meant someone that was oriental/asian/whatever is PC these days. Maybe its some blue eyed blond haired 20th generation German that just emigrated to Japan, but again, I am pretty sure I know what pops into someones mind when someone is described as Japanese.
Heck, half Japanese-half American could REALLY mean Scotch-Korean if you really wanta get pendantic/PC about who lives where, ignoring likelyhoods in the name of political correctness.
Myself, I am going with statistical likelyhoods and what the writer most likey was INTENDING to convey.
I could care less about that sorta baloney…so yeah…yee haw
Your bombast does not cover up your feeble reasoning.
even sven’s argument reduces to, “do not lead an inexperienced young person on and exploit him/her for sex”. The fact that the women are Chinese is only relevant because this thread is about going to Asia.
You are welcome to disagree with this basic norm of human behavior, and if you do, you’d be a cretin. Not gotten your capitalist cock wet recently?
It’s ironic that another group of Asian women, the ones in Thailand, “take advantage” of American men. Just ask Siam Sam.
No it doesn’t. Your knee-jerk simplification of the issue is just another example of the asininity that is near-omnipresent on this board, especially in hangers-upon such as yourself that are invested in being “popular” in the so-called community here.
However, since you apparently have a failure in the brain area, let me analyse your frankly idiotic claim. Apparently these 18-25 year old Chinese girls are culturally programmed to be innocent and helpless. Enter the suave American english teacher (lol) who exposes them to a new world? Bullshit. What it is is even sven’s eurocentric viewpoint assuming that these girls are infantilized by their culture and are unable to cope, because they get married early and their parents don’t pay attention to them. Why, good golly, these girls are afraid of crime! These little yellow people are so cute!
That is nothing more than a stereotype based on importing ones responses into another culture. The “lovesick girl” meme is culturally programmed into the girls by their society. They aren’t “inexperienced” or “naive” or “enchanted by a sweaty gwai lo with an enormous (compared to the natives) penis”.
I suppose we should send over a squad of young lotharios who will be trained to engage only in decorous necking, whilst simultaneously encouraging and nurturing the independence and sheer empowerment of these young girls. Then, when they get married a bit later to their husband who sees her as nothing more than an object, they will be able to break the bonds of cultural servitude and emigrate to the U.S. of A., where they can write a breakout book that gets made into a Lifetime movie called “Cherry Blossoms: Escape from H.K.” featuring Lucy Liu.
Or perhaps we can take a step back, and unlike even sven, not come off like someone who obviously was disappointed by a colleague or something who only had eyes for those lithe little ladies, instead of her, the obviously more mature and empowered world traveler with a savings account and a copy of the Vagina Monologues.
In any case, I’m pretty confident in asserting that the average ESL teacher who travels overseas to teach English classes for a little school credit and some spending money is probably not some sort of awesome pussy hound versed in techniques of erotic seduction so advanced that to apply them to anyone other than a meth head streetwalker would be the moral equivalent of rape.
(Oh, P.S., she states that the behaviors are identical to your average middle school student. So, who is looking out for these exploited lovesick (presumably American) teenage girls who give it up to the football star? )
It’s true that the Asian man / Western woman combo is rare here, at least in Thailand, but it does exist. But in Hawaii, I knew one Thai man / American white woman married couple that possibly exemplified why.
The Thai man was a medical doctor and thus highly educated. The American white woman was a graduate student at the University of Hawaii’s East West Center, a federal research think-tank. That was why they were in Hawaii, because she was a student there. He was just along for the ride. Because of his skill, he was allowed to work somewhere as a doctor. His wife, as an East West Center student, had a rather heavy workload. Still, despite the husband’s education and familiarity with Western ways, he demanded his wife have dinner on the table for him every night, clean the house etc. That’s just what wives DO, you see. That’s just the way he was raised, and he had a hard time shaking it. I recall the marriage breaking up.
The male-Asian culture can be quite different from the female-Asian culture.
Actually, I guess a better way of saying that would be that the expectations the average Asian male – for sure the average Thai male – have are often not compatible with many of the advances Western women have made in recent decades.
Well, there are two different things here: long-term relationship issues, and base sexual attraction. I think you are talking about the former, but I was talking about the latter.
Isn’t “base sexual attraction” different between men and women? Not necessarily in their fantasies, but in their actual dating choices? As I said before, even if it’s unspoken, many Asian guys probably give women a vibe of sizing them up to fulfill a particular role (either obediant wife or discreet unacknowledged mistress). Western guys probably have an easier time blowing off whatever expectations their Asian girlfriends might have going into it, but it might be more of a turnoff in the reverse case.
I can cover the latter, too, I think. Thai men will often go brag to all their buddies that they’ve just screwed a white woman, and then all their buddies, who of course just KNOW that all Western women are promiscuous, begin to badger her for sex. This is a big problem here.
I happen to know that during Peace Corps training in Thailand, men and women volunteers are divided up, and each group is given a “sex” session. The female volunteers are told never, ever allow a Thai male into their home if they are alone, no matter how well they may know the guy, because even if nothing happens, chances are high that he’s going to go tell everyone he screwed her, because that would be quite a feather in his cap, and everyone’s going to believe him, because he WAS in her home, and they “know” Western women DO like to screw around.
This sort of thing puts a damper on relations, both short and long term.
As for what even sven described, that’s what the ruder foreigners in Taiwan call the “psycho xiaojie” phenomenon: the gal in her early to mid twenties who just will not. give. up. when the foreign boyfriend breaks up with her. It’s not a matter of love at that point but of redressing perceived humiliation, and people commit suicide, throw acid in faces and burn down whole freaking buildings for just that reason around here.
Sounds a lot like the “psycho Thai girl” phenomenon. 
I just remembered there are a lot of Western women, particularly Aussie girls, picking up local guys on the Indonesian island of Bali. It’s quite a phenomenon.
Look, I spend all day around 18-22 year old Chinese women (though they would yell at me if they heard me call them that- they prefer “girl”.) I spend most of my nights with foreign ESL teachers, about half of which are juggling a few teenage girlfriends of both the paid and unpaid variety. I’m calling it as I see it.
Of course not all Asian women fit some particular stereotype. But, culture does exist. Chinese people have different life experiences than Americans. Americans have different life experiences than Iraqis. Iraqis have different life experiences than Inuits. I think I gave a pretty accurate rundown of your average Chinese 18-22 year old college student (the likely dating pool for foreigners) in my area. Of course there are exceptions. For the most part, these foreign men are not dating the exceptions.
Once again, I have no beef with people dating women of their own age and maturity level. If they date women who are finished with school, working, who live away from home, who have traveled, who have had previous relationships or who have otherwise demonstrated the level of emotional maturity that approaches their own, that’s fine. If the men explain and truly make understood what they expect out of the relationship (i.e. this is probably not true love, we will probably not get married, we will probably break up in a few months, I may have other girlfriends, also, I frequent prostitutes) that’s fine. It’s not like a cultural gap can’t be bridged. But for a relationship to be at all fair, these things need to be addressed up front.
But of all the dozens of foreign teacher-Chinese woman relationships, I’ve only seen this level of equality a couple of times.
As for dating Chinese men- every Western woman I know who has dated a Chinese man has eventually discovered a Chinese fiancée in the picture. I’ve seen this happen maybe six or seven times. China has different expectations for dating. While I hold out hope that I may find an exception, it’d take A LOT of work to convince me that a man would be following a set of dating expectations that coincide with my own.
So you’re projecting your western ideals onto chinese girls in their dating expectations?
Which is better, to be “taken advantage of” and experience this “unfair”
relationship, or just be married off to a chinese guy, minus the drama?
I still think you are projecting your own cultural assumptions onto these girls, who (according to all the chinese girls I know) are just as likely to be using the guy for the same reason the guy is using them, and only calling heartbreak, etc because it’s the expected societal excuse, much like a pregnant girl from a strict family might cry rape to avoid one social stigma in favor of a less embarrassing scenario.
I think you’re indulging in the illusion that even sven’s experience must be false because she’s talking about “chinese” girls, and you know some “chinese” girls and they’re not like that. Where are you located? (Someplace with running water, I assume.) So why do you assume that even sven must be wrong? Because all Chinese girls must all be alike? Do they all “look alike” to you too?
FWIW I have no doubt that even sven’s accurate in her portrayal: it perfectly captures all what I’ve heard of yokel girls growing up in the sticks, and why they turn into the “woman scorned” phenomenon raised to the power of a billion or so.
(ETA & BTW: it’s always amusing to see earnest Americans try to apply their “it don’t matter if you’re black or whiiiite” / “can’t we all just get alonnnnng” mindset to cultures that – gasp – really do make a difference in people’s values and expectations. Their poor widdle heads just essplode . . .)
I second that what she says rings very true.