Away Messages

Forgive me if this has been posted, but I’d rather not go through 181 pages of search results to find out. Feel free to delete this if I’m in the wrong.

Now this is truly mundane. What are your favorite away messages?


  1. Frodo: Sam, Smeagol, you stop that bickering right now! Don’t MAKE me turn this quest around! There’ll be no Mt. Doom for anyone! *

  2. "There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow men. True nobility lies in being superior to your former self.” - Elijah Wood

  3. Authors don’t write because they want to, but because they have to - because there’s a story inside them that must be told. ~~Juliane **

  4. **Sam: I wonder if people will ever say, ‘let’s hear about Frodo and the Ring.’ And they’ll say ‘yes, that’s one of my favorite stories. Frodo was really courageous, wasn’t he, dad.’ ‘Yes, my boy, the most famousest of hobbits. And that’s saying alot.’
    Frodo: You left out one of the chief characters – Samwise the Brave. I want to hear more about Sam. Frodo wouldn’t have got far without Sam. ** ***

    • composite from an idea I got from another message board. I have no claim to this.
      ** - From a friend of mine–NOT MINE
      *** - Tolkien and / or Peter Jackson–NOT MINE

From the movie Dave , for when I’m in the shower:

“Hail to the chief, he’s the one we all say hail to. We all say hail cuz he keeps himself so clean. He’s got the power, that’s why he’s in the shower!”

NotWithoutRage, that’s hilarious. Very rarely do I ACTUALLY lol, but this time…I l-ed ol

My default away message: "Attention span? What attention sp–oooh, a bunny!"

Another message I use randomly; I AM NOT A FUCKING MALKAVIAN!

My “in the bathroom” away message: Speak now or forever hold your pee.

The first one is my favorite away message ever. People even steal it!

From the depths of my answering machine:

ring ring ring ring

(Gone With The Wind Overture starts here)

(high pitched voice) “Mizz Scarlet! Mizz Scarlet! I doan know nuthin’ ‘bout answerin’ no tele-phone!”

(male voice with Irish brogue)“Katy! Katy Scarlet! Who is it, girl? Ach, I know, I’ll ask Mrs O’Hara!”

(faux female voice) “Phone! Phone! Phone! That’s all I ever hear! Oh, but Rhett, who is it for? What shall I say?”

(deep male voice) “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn, as long at they leave their name and number, after the beep!”


here is my current away message… not like it ever goes off though:
Can’t talk now the clowns will get me!
Can’t talk now the clowns will get me!
Can’t talk now the clowns will get me!
Can’t talk now the clowns will get me!
Can’t talk now the clowns will get me!
Can’t talk now the clowns will get me!

I have a large repetoire of away messages, in no particular order:

This is perhaps the one I get the most comments on…

I love Latin away messages - I don’t know why.

The below is a sign you’re a Georgia Tech student:

And I have others… we’ll see if I post anymore I like :smiley:

Mine is “Off fighting evil, back later.”

I’m thinking of changing it to “Out committing certain deeds” but I don’t know if people will get the Simpsons reference.