Bad fake names.


omg omg omg Bambi you have FLEMING & JOHN as your sig!! Aaaaah!!! you are a rock star!


Oh and haha yes I got to Anastasia Beaverhausen first, lol.

And I should say… I really don’t know that it’s NOT his real name… but… c’mon! Wolf frickin’ Blitzer! There’s NFW that’s someone’s REAL name! Hee hee.

I am reminded of the episode of Family Guy where family-head Peter Griffin wants to give a fake name… he looks around for inspiration, saying the syllables as they come to him…

He spies a pea… “Pea…”
then a woman crying… “Tear…”
then a griffin flies through the room. “Griffin. Peter Griffin.”

I actually have a branch of relatives named “Carr”. No “bills”, but it’s only a matter of time. “Tim Carr” is really close, though.

Phoebe’s fake name means Queen of the Fingers in latin (remember she’s a massage therapist).

There are three boys who are bunking off school and one of the boys says to the other two “If we get stopped by a cop make up your name from a nearby sign, ok?” so they carry on walking down the highstreet. After a while they are aproached by a police officer
[stereotypical english police man] “allo allo what do we 'ave 'ere then? why arent you boys at school? i best take your names lads.” He turn to the first boy “And you are?”
“err… (scanner the shops around him) I’m thomas”
“Thomas who?”
“thomas cook”
Turns to second boy “And you?”
“names mark, mark spencer”
turning to the third boy “and who might you be?”
“my name is ken”
“ken what?”
“ken tuckyfriedchicken”

How about any of the following …

Guy LeDouche
Kenny Blankenship
Vic Romano
Captain Tenneal

On the forum menu, the “Last Post” displayed for IMHO was in What’s your Porn Star Name?. This thread was listed directly below it for MPSIMS. :smiley:

That’s the one I was trying to remember from “The Simpsons”! I was wracking my brain for it and only coming up with stuff like “Phineas Q. Alias”, which I think I just made up myself. Phineas Q. Alias…heh.

The real name of the hero of Snow Crash is Hiro Protagonist, but that would be a great bad fake name!

One I don’t think has been mentioned yet is the name Jan Brady, of The Brady Bunch, invented for her imaginary boyfriend. “George…[glancing at the glass on the table]…George Glass!” There was an episode of The Simpsons where a fairytale witch claimed she had a boyfriend named George…Cauldron!
The Discworld book Soul Music features a military character with memory loss who checks his shirt tag in hopes of finding his name written there. His superior rejects “Private Dry-Clean-Only” and “Private Extra-Small” (something like that, at least, I don’t have the book here to check) before accepting “Cotton” as a reasonable surname.

Years ago I saw one episode of some random sitcom in which the wife mentioned that she had a plausible pseudonym prepared (“Barbara Bishop”) in case she ever suddenly needed one. She didn’t want to be caught having to invent one on the spot, and was surprised that her husband had neglected to plan for such an eventuality.

My favorite is Raymond Luxury-Yacht, but I understand that it is not pronounced like it is spelled.

In The Wrong Guy, Dave Foley was in a hospital room when a police officer asked him his name. He says “Enimabag… Enimabag Jones.”
There’s two other times that he make’s up a name like that, but I can’t think of them right now.

That wouldn’t have been Dharma and Greg, would it? It sounds like a joke they’d do.

Names I have used on occasion (usually in online registrations when I don’t want to use my actual name):

Garfield W. Falsename
Yelnick McWawa
Throckmorton Grunthummer Wingergonger

They were taken from a Spitting Image special, an episode of Cheers, and a comic book newsletter, respectively.

One good alias for women: Crystal Shanda Lear.

[slight hijack] One of my favorite Simpson’s episodes is the one where Homer mails an irate letter to Mr. Burns, then regrets it and tries to get the letter back. He goes to the mail room, and says something like “I’m Mr. Burns, and I’m here to pick up my mail.” When the mailperson asks him what his first name is, he stands there for a second, and then says “I don’t know” and slinks out. Hah!

This is probably only funny at the time but what the hell. A friend and I were walking around the bush surrounding a tennis court looking for tennis balls. On a previous occasion when we had done this, a fat guy, presumably the owner, had walked out onto the court and called out, “Throw it ooover, thanks a lot boys!” and generally acted like a smug bastard. I, having stashed 12 odd balls in my school bag, gladly threw over the one in my hand and was on my way. My friend was less amused and picked up a large rock and duly threw IT over!
Hence on this occasion, for fear of the fat guy hiding in wait for us, we had devised fake names to use in case we were caught. I had opted for the name of an enemy of ours, which I thought was a stroke of genius! As we only had one REAL enemy at the time he had decided to take the name of Ursula’s boyfriend in George of the Jungle and change it slightly to Lyle Vandaroot which we also thought was hilarious (get it- he want a root!!). Anyway, we were walking around gathering tennis balls when a random bushie comes wandering out. Immediately I yell out, “Run for it Lyle!!!” and fall about laughing uncontrollably. Even the bushie looked at me strangely after that! :smiley:

In the amazingly craptacular Madonna movie Who’s That Girl? there is a scene where Madonna and Griffin Dunne are in the hospital and Madonna only knows that his character’s first name is “Lauden” and when they ask for his last name she says “Clear” - Lauden Clear. That’s a pretty good one, I think.

I once told my husband that if I ever get arrested, I would tell the cops my name is Kinsey Millhone, since I doubt most people would get the reference at first.

Wait, just remembered:

Uhhh (sees pea sitting on table) Pe… uhhh (seas tear dripping from girls eye) Pet…ter… uhhh (seas griffin fly across room) Pe…ter…Griffin, Peter Griffin!!!

I misspelled “sees” twice. :frowning:

Sooo…you’ve got a hairy roofshingle, hmmm?

Never heard of that knickname for it, but HEY! Who am I to question a doctor on anatomical matters? :smiley: :smiley: :smiley:

Ahem. Post #23.


I forgot – some times when I have to give a name to an online service (free catalog or e-mail account, etc.) I use Faustina Gumphrey. I’ve also used Anita Mandelay, which is a bad pun, but a conceivable name.