Batman vs. Hemhorroids

Who would win?

Batman, if he had Preparation-H.

There, are you satisfied?

Idea for a new John Waters film? Think I’ll pass.

Are the hemorrhoids thrombosed? Internal or external?

I think you win the joke of the day contest, Controvert.

I just hope he has disposable Bat-gloves and a supply of soft, multi-ply Bat-TP. In any event, it sounds like one uuuugly episode… Better give it to Joel Schumacher (that hack!) to direct.

I would imagine that handy utility belt could hold all kinds of suppositories and baby-wipes. And if Joel Schumacher handled it, you’d wind up with bizarre lighting, worthless shot framing and terrible dialogue. A hemorroid could direct better than Joel Schumacher, and would probably get Danny DeVito an Emmy nomination by mistake.

…even jaded Hollywood execs were appalled by the pitch for Batman’s End.

No, no, remember that the titles are alliterative now (Batman Begins). So this movie, when finally released, would be Batman’s Butt.

And yes, Schumacher would direct.

Batman’s Bootielicious Butt Battle

More to the point, who would apply the Preparation H?
[sub]Schumacher: “Catwoman.” Waters: “Robin. And Alfred.”[/sub]

George Brett, perhaps?

And he can also put some pine tar on the bat-rope to help Batman keep his grip.

On the whole, I think Preparation H feels good.