Beer is my buddy, wine my woman, but today, just for today, I must stay away

Denial saves and denial kills. Were we forced to face all our problems without escape, the pressure would burst. Denial slices our worries into digestible bites, but there lurks a dark side.

No one sets out to have a problem with alcohol. But too many are seduced by her quiet lies. “I’ll give you a good time.” “Come and forget your past.” “If you feel weak, I’ll make you strong.” These fibs pale if you have ever heard her most treacherous lie: “If you love me, I’ll love you, too.” For if you love her too dearly, she’ll fuck you over.

Real life is complex, but a simple solution is found in a $10 bottle of Daniels. It’s a bargain for a night, until the bill is served the next morning.

Denial sooths the soul while it clouds the vision. I don’t have a problem because I drink only at night. I go to work everyday, and I don’t even get drunk all the time. Trouble isn’t poured each time I open a bottle.

An aspirin for an aching heart; a silencer of stress. She whispers lies, and lies in wait for you to swallow her untruths.

Long after awareness by your loved ones, when you, too, know you drink too much, then you, too, begin to lie. See, I went a whole week without drinking; I don’t have a problem. I can drink again, but I’ll just cut back.

We’re with friends, so it’s not drinking alone. One beer and then two. Followed by a strong double on the rocks. Then a need. An overpowering need screaming from bottom of the soul, a need for another drink. There’s a 7-11; stop the taxi comes the plea, but today you’re strong and you go home to sleep. Still, two days later, it’s another beer, but just one this time, so you’re all right. Denial is no longer your friend.

Four months, my counselor suggests. A few blinks and a quick check of my ears to ensure I didn’t mishear. Four months with zero drinks, a 100% reduction. Denial wants to lie again, but the brain and more importantly, the heart, know that this is the only way.

The first few days are the roughest. You see her everywhere, her alluring look and the false promises of fun. The decision is firm and I walk by without stopping.

It’s been eight days now. The temptation weakens, but care is paramount to not be seduced again. If I can ever drink again, it will be that (1) I can stop drinking when I want, each and every time and (2) I never, ever lose control.

I’ll see again in the New Year, but that is too far to think of now. Tomorrow is a different day. For today, just today, I’ll go to bed with nothing but blood flowing in my body.

Lovely, thanks.

A few tomorrows will be rough, then it gets better.

Ten years here.

Hang in there.

I am trying to send you the strength I sometimes lack. Good luck. You know already that you have a beautiful wife, and a lot of us are looking forward to your wonderful family one day.

Giving in is easy, that’s why it’s hard.

One of my best friends had a problem with alcohol just like yours, and he went through some rough times, including legal trouble, over it. But now he is able to drink responsibly - one or two beers, and that’s it. That’s right, it doesn’t need to be all or nothing - it’s possible to cut back on alcohol without eliminating it completely, it just takes tremendous willpower. I know you are a great guy, TokyoPlayer, and you will surely overcome this. I’m rooting for you.

Thank you all for your support. I guess the greatest advantage of giving up alcohol over giving up tabaco (which fortunately, I’ve never had to do) is that you can eat and get surgar hits without gaining as much weight. All those calories you’re losing with the beer.  :smiley:

It’s been a rough year, but I really appreciate the chance to share and all support I get from everyone.

cheers from the bleachers

I’ve got several alcoholic relatives; my own adictions aren’t chemical but that’s been a concious choice I made as a teen. As a non-drinker, I’m pretty much up to here (put Pau Gassol on top of a ladder, make him reach up, and you’ll have an idea up to where) of the pressure to drink… it’s hard to keep saying no. And it’s hard to keep being pressured and called names when you say no.

You already have found the wisdom to know the bottle is not your friend. May you have the strength to keep saying no. And when/if you ever drink too much again, remember that only because you’ve slipped once, it’s not a reason to slid away… /soapbox

Wow, I had no idea. Good luck, man.

Hang in there. You’ll get to the point where it’s not “I can’t drink,” but “I don’t have to drink,” and that’s an amazing place to be.

twicks, sober 21 years +

Sending supporting thoughts your way.

What a lot of people don’t seem to realize is that alcohol is an addictive drug even for non-alcoholics. Tolerance, withdrawal symptoms, etc.

I go every other month without drinking and that seems to work pretty well to keep it in its place. I don’t miss it when I’m not drinking, and when I do I enjoy it.

And I drink considerably less in the months when I do have drinks because my tolerance has rebounded from college days when I drank several times per week in perpetuity.

I saw this while lurking and just felt compelled to say something. Specifically, if you are an alchololic this sentiment is not only factually wrong it is a fundamentally dangerous statement. I don’t know what the case is with the guy who started this thread, but I can say that for a significant minority of folks there just is no such thing as any amount of alcohol being safe to put in our bodies.

Seconded. In my case 4 months wouldn’t have been long enough, but maybe the doc didn’t want to freak you out totally. If/when you cut the ties, you may look at each lure to drink as a new opportunity to examine your soul. The day may come where your soul looks back and says “Eh, you know… Have one, don’t have one, doesn’t matter” and you still have that worry in your mind but you know you’re strong enough, that’s a good day. Unless you go get all fuckered up, then not so much.

You have my best wishes for your success, TokyoPlayer.

It must be rough to forego alcohol in Tokyo. I hear that’s one serious drinking town.

Hang tough, dude.

This is what got me through the first month or so. No worrying about what tomorrow may bring, only knowing that I made it this far and that I can make it through the next 5 minutes. The 5 after that will have to wait.

Come to think of it it’s kind of like quitting smoking, except for the lack of sleep. I started drinking a lot of pop, but eventually switched to 7-Up, pineapple juice and Benadryl. Life wasn’t so bad when I was too groggy to lay awake staring at the ceiling.

I had a needed motnh long self intervention once and it turned out splendidly. Of course, it was the most annoying thing I ever participated in at first. I then found that I liked going out more and having a better time. Although still a happy beer drinker, I’m pleased to have never returned to the Dark Ole Days. Hang in there and pick up a new hobby.

Indeed- very well said.

As far as the possibility of cutting back instead of cutting off- not an option for me, I’m afraid. I never had “just one” of anything in my entire life, so it isn’t reasonable to think that I could start doing it now, just because “I really, really want to.”

YMMV, as always.

EJsGirl, 16 years sober and counting…

It’s good to hear stories of success. While I would like to be able to be a social drinker, I have no idea at this stage if I can or not, but I’m not even thinking about it.

It’s down to “It would be nice to have a beer” instead of “I need that drink” so that’s progress.

My wife is really happy, she had been pretty worried because of the amounts that I could drink, and what that was doing to my body. Plus making an ass out of myself a few times and something which could have gotten really ugly, but looks like it’s OK. Wasn’t my fault, but I was drunk and didn’t avoid it.

More than anything, it was the stress I could see in her eyes, and while I told myself I could never hurt her, but I realized I was hurting her. We are trying for kids, and I never, ever want to subject them to an out of control father.

Too much is at stake, so I’ve got to do this for my family, in addition to doing this for myself.

TokyoPlayer - bravo! It takes guts to do what you are doing; and it takes love. I know from some of your previous posts that you love your wife very much, and it shows in that you are willing to do this to take the worry from her.

Also, and IANAD, but I was given to understand that alcohol abuse can lower sperm count. So if ya’ll are trying - just sayin’ cutting off your relationship with Lady Booze might help with that.

When the thought of “a” drink comes upon me, I’m reminded to “Play the tape to the end”. Thinking not of just the first few beers, but the drinking after that ('cuz I know I’m not going to be able to stop). I know from experience that good things are not going to happen, and I’ll be damn lucky if bad things don’t. I didn’t get in ‘trouble’ every time I drank, but every time I found trouble I’d been drinking.
I love my life now. You can enjoy yours too!

4 years