Never. I see you in a completely different light now. There is a nobility around your eyes, a stern resolve in the line of your mouth, an inner strength in the set of your shoulders. You…you are very possibly on your way towards becoming a thread god. There has to be some sort of honor for a man like you, willing to descend into the very bowels of the thread. sniff And I was there to see it. I’m so touched…
Ha! It takes more than a Bonobo chimp, a fleet of toy sailboats and a can of Spam to kill the Great and Mighty Tymp, Master Of All Things Damp And Astringent! Nice try, though, Evil Thread. I will triumph! You will die, Thread. This I decree! Let no petulant poster of possessed pixel peccancy rise up in defiance!
Thank you for the kind words, struuter. I was wondering when someone would notice my shoulders. But thread god? Sadly, no. Now, if I’d succeeded in my internal attack, I’d modestly accept that mantle. As it is, I’m just frustrated.
And Tymp! Great to see you back, you alliterative animal, you.
Unfortunately for all of us, the thread seems to be stronger than ever.
I’ve just noticed something, studying this thread. And most likely I’m not the first to see it. Anybody else notice how brave and intelligent the men posting are? Gracious! I’m not just saying that. Even if I were, and I’m not, it’s still true. Smart, funny, courageous. Sweet thread eternal, but a nice group.
I just feel so safe here, so protected by…mouth drops in horrified awe…No! Back! Back, I say! Oh…oh no…it can’t be! The thread is…is going on FIVE PAGES! grabs folding chair and swings at thread’s massive, scaley, pock-marked, pus-oozing head with gaping maw and pointy fangy things and great lolling, dripping tongue poking out
Uh…okay…nice thread…nice thread…somebody? This thing looks HUNGRY…cringes in the looming shadow of the thread’s towering form
Ohmigod!
Struuter! are you OK? You should be more careful…threads like this are mean-tempered things.
Perhaps if we just keep feeding it, it’ll just get too huge to support it’s own blubbery huge-ness. C’mon everyone! Feed the thread!
Feed the thread!
Feed the thread!
Feed the thread!
Yo, thread! Over here! Get away from her! I’m the one who gave you indigestion for three days!
You know…the funniest thing just happened. There I was, staring into the black of its mouth, and my entire life on this board flashed before my eyes. I was really afraid there for a minute that this was the end for me.
Shama, Sauron–thank you. I owe you my life. If I can ever repay you…
Aw, shucks, ma’am, ‘tweren’t nothin’.
One hint – if it does swallow you, grab the uvula and hold on tight. It seems to be sensitive there, and maybe it would sick you back up again.
Uvula. giggle That always sounds so dirty.
Well, I have no intention of getting anywhere close to that thing again. Blech.
Sauron, would you mind terribly if I just stood here for a little while? steps gingerly behind him, peeking around to keep an eye on thread
weren’t nuthin’ I wouldn’t do for any ol’ fellow doper.
Glad you’re OK.
You didn’t happen to bring us any food today, did you? I’m getting hungry.
Though I grow weary from the battling of this beast, I press on. For certain, I cannot go to my grave knowing that my children and my children’s children will speak of me as Tymp, abandoner of sworn duty to crush and kill all demon threads. Surely I cannot let this devil live on to torment my descendants with its ungodly persistence. No. I have trained my heart and mind. I have honed my keyboard blade. I will make epoch war with these bedeviled electrons to the bitter end. Only one of us will survive in the legends of men yet to be born, and it will not be you, devil thread! Enguard, fiendish villain!
Food? I ALWAYS have food. Whaddya want? Fruit? Crackers and cheese? You fire up the grill and I’ll marinate the steaks–I AM from Nebraska, after all. 
Got some cheese cake. Or vanilla wafers. I need some coffee.
Ahh! I take a wound by struuter’s thread strengthening hand. No matter. I fight on!
I like this thread!
::pets the thread:: good thread. don’t let those scary people over there bother you.
Why don’t you go head and eat one of them thready?
::maniacal laughter::
::mouth watering::
mmmm…you’re making me drool over here! I’ll take some cheese and crackers please. and some apples too.
tymp!
Watch out for it’s tail! it’s trying to get you from behind!
Not just the tail … watch out for the behind, too. It has surprising offensive capabilities.
Uh, struuter, I appreciate the compliment of you guarding my back, but do you have to push me toward it?!
And now trash talkin’, traitorous squirrels!? Will my torment never cease? This demonic thread wields an infinite arsenal of unheard of weaponry. Sill, I am honor bound to fight on against the treacherous beast.
NO! I have done this to you? drops to her knees, shaking her fist heavenward As Bob is my witless, I will never harm him again!
Wait…looks at Tymp’s wound That’s an old paper cut. I didn’t do that. Looks like it hurts though. {{smooch}} There. Better?
Well I like THAT. As if I’d do that to you. What do you all take me for? I mean, I don’t really want to kill this thing. I mean…sure, I’d like to be there when it dies, but that’s just 'cause it nearly gobbled me up. I just want to be here to see its final moments. Like I’d PUSH you…sniff Nevermind. I’ll go stand over here by Shama.
Now even the beast’s mother, lovingly known as the SDMB, in her maternal protectiveness of her spawn, has turned against me! She slows the blows against my foes!
[sub]p.s. Thanks, struuter! It was all just a play for attention and the weaseling of a smooch anyway.[/sub]