Okay, where’s my old copy of “Leaves of Grass”? Surely I didn’t burn it after college, did I? Or cast it back into the Pit from whence it came?
Ah, hell. I’ll just wing it. Hey Thread! Did you know Chicago is the “hog butcher to the world”?
steps behind Sauron, blushing. Chin on his shoulder, calls to thread
Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrave.
"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jujub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!"
He took his vorpal sword in hand:
Long time the manxome foe he sought –
So rested he by the Tumtum gree,
And stood awhile in thought
And as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!
One, two! One, two! and through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.
“And hast thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!”
He chortled in his joy.
'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrave.
gives Sauron a peck on the cheek A little Lewis Carroll for us, the mighty Thread Slayers, this morning. 
<Walks over, covered in bile, slime, and other monsterish oozings>
Morning all. Man, you would not BELIEVE what the last few days were like. I mean, I’m just lucky that I had my lucky spork with me, so that I could burrow out of that thing’s stomach. Jester’s first rule of thumb, never leave the house without a spork.
Damn, that thread’s gastric acid went and corroded the bells on my hat! Bastard. Now it’s personal.
What? My ordeal? Well, that is a long and intriguing story. I believe that you all saw me jump into the maw of the beast, and from then on I…OOOH!! Donuts!!
Mmmm…this is good. Anyway, once I fell in I…OOOH! Coffee!
Yeah, that hits the spot. So, as I was saying…OOOH! NAKED CHICK!!
<runs over to struuter, gives her a big slimy hug>
Hey, baby, I’ve been in a stomach for the past 2 days. Wanna go someplace?
Naked CHICK??! That’s naked thread slaying chick, bub.
Thanks for the hug…I think begins wiping off gunk
Nice pick-up line, too. Very original. Eat your breakfast. Take a bath. We’ll talk.
{{{{smooch}}}} Good to see you safe and sound.
opens Bag of Holding; starts digging Give your hat first…I know I’ve some bells in here someplace…
Now…if I’d have just remembered to put some clothes in here…
Yeah, baths are good. This slime stuff is beginning to cake, and it’s gettin really hard to move. So, I’ll just mosey on over to the…OOOH! BOOZE!
<takes a big swig of will’s moonshine>
:eek:
God, I really have to get a better attention span.
<Collapses on the floor in a heap>
Wow. Employing the Jabberwock to defeat the mighty thread of evil. This is starting to look like a script for a Godzilla movie.
Jester, man, I think you could use a good hot bath. struuter might scrub your back if you ask nicely.
now digging elbow-deep in bag, muttering to self
bells…bells…
looks up at Jester in a heap in front of her
bells…soap…potion…smelling salts…bathtub…
… pressure washer … sandpaper …
pulls pack of batteries out of bag, expression of surprise
HERE they are…
looks back into bag
…rubbing alcohol…gauze…
Hey, are those D batteries? I could use them in my lightsaber.
“Lightsaber”? Is that what they’re called these days? I’m getting’ old.
Oh, you’re evil, Tymp. I like that.
Can’t be, Tymp. Uh-uh. Unless Sauron is Steve Austin…I don’t think he needs batteries for it.
Oh my…Jester. get thee to a bath! I was out on the MPSIMS main page an followed the stench back in here. Yeeech!
::ruffles through her ever-present duffle bag::
Here- I stole this from the Hilton down the road for you
::hands Jester a big fluffy robe::
Now just promise to share it with Struuter
Bless you, sweet friend. I thank you. My mother thanks you. My father thanks you. My little furry…HAMSTER thanks you. Jeesh, you people.
Oh, nice sig. I’m honored.
Um, struuter, honey, the robe will work better if you close it BEFORE you belt it.
Not that I’m complaining, you understand.
Ungh…man, that was some good stuff.
<looks around, realizes he’s sitting in a bubblebath with fancy soaps and a fluffy bathrobe hanging on the door>
<hangs head in shame>
I feel like I’ve just been neutered.
Least you still have your kidneys.
…Whut? Yawn…Bubble baths? Hell I remember the time I tried to give ol’ Betsy a bubble bath…
No… I can’t do it… I can only be SO cruel…
Sorry.