Another parody:
On top of Old Smokey,
All covered in blood,
I shot my poor teacher,
With a 44 Stud.
Ten days later,
She still wasn’t dead,
So I took a bazooka,
And blew off her head.
I went to her funeral,
I went to her grave,
Some people threw flowers,
I threw a grenade.
Birdy birdy in the sky
Why’d you do that to my eye
Looks like vanilla, tastes like spit
Oh my gosh it’s birdy shit
Skipped through the kitchen, skipped so fast
I skipped my finger up my grandma’s ass
Grandma said "You ain’t got no soul!
“Get your finger out of my asshole!”
On top of Old Smokey, all covered with blood,
I shot my poor teacher with a .44 stud.
I went to her funeral, I went to her grave.
Instead of throwing flowers, I threw a grenade.
I opened her coffin, and she wasn’t quite dead.
So I took a bazooka, and blew off her head.
There once was a guy named Dave
Who found a dead whore in a cave.
She had one tit,
And looked like shit.
But think of the money he’d save!
I wasn’t racist, but damn if my hoodlum friends weren’t:
I was walking through the jungle with my dick in my hand
I’m a bad motherfucker and a hell of a man.
I look up in a tree, and what do I see?
A goddamn nigger trying to piss on me!
I pick up a rock, hit him in his cock,
That damn nigger did a belly flop!
I remember this little ditty, which I thought was stupid even when I was 5:
“Fight! Fight! A nigger and a white! The white don’t win, we ALL jump in!”
Next thing you know ol’ Jed’s in the truck
Balls hangin’ out, ready for a fuck
Ten days later he was feelin’ kinda sick
A clear-cut case of a paralysed dick.
Stiff balls…that is…
I think there were several local variations…
Well it’s really, really bad but in electronics there are colored stripes on resistors and each stripe represents a number. Here they are:
Black - 1
Brown -2
Red - 3
Orange - 4
Yellow - 5
Gold - 6
Blue - 7
Violet - 8
Gray - 9
White - 0
The way we memorized it: Black Boys Rape Our Young Girls But Violet Gives Willingly.
Yes, it’s bad but I promise you everyone who studies resistors eventually learns it. I learned it in high school. Later when I did electronics in college the teacher refused to tell this.
My inner redneck child speaks:
[Go up to somebody and shake hands, but don’t release]
You: Howdy, I’m from Mars. Where you from?
Them: [answer]
You: Where do you go to take a shit?
Them: the bathroom
You: What do you use to wipe your ass with?
Them: toilet paper
You: I use my hand.
The way I heard it is:
Hitler has just one ball
Goring’s are rather small
Himmler’s are somewhat similar
And Goebbels has no balls at all.
Darn, I was beaten to the punch.
Multiple zombie thread!
I wonder if the OP was banned for posting dirty stuff.
I’m not sure how “Tarantella” goes, but the tune I associate with this ditty is *Funiculi, Funicula[/part
First part goes:
Last night – I stayed at home and masturbated.
It felt so good; I knew it would.
Last night – I stayed at home and masturbated.
It felt so nice, I did it twice!
You – should have seen me on the short stroke!
It felt so grand, I used my hand.
You – should have seen me on the long stroke!
It felt so neat, I used my feet.
??
I recall this one (with some variations, like her name was Sheila Brown. And PissPot Pete, which makes more sense) from Boy Scout camp.
Boy scouts made me what I am today.