Best Homer Simpson Lines

Or what Magayuk said. :wink:

Hee. :slight_smile:

Life is just one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead.

Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand. I can totally identify with that one)

No, that was a Homer quote. It was in the episode The Springfield Files.

I’m quite fond of the exchange between Homer and Bart in Brother From the Same Planet, where the scene in question parodies Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, and Homer talks like Richard Burton.

Homer (sitting on the stairs in the dark as Bart opens the door): Hello son. Where were you?
Bart: Out playing with Milhouse.
Homer: No you weren’t! You’ve been out gallivating with that floozy of a bigger brother, haven’t you? Haven’t you?! Look at me!
Bart: It just sort of happened. You’re taking this too hard.
Homer: How do you want me to take it? ‘Go ahead Bart, have your fun, I’ll be waiting’?
Bart: Oh yeah? What are you going to do?
Homer: [pours wine] You’ll see. [gulps it down]

Suuuure Lisa, a magical, wonderful animal!

“Animals are crapping in our house and we’re cleaning it up?
Did we lose a war? That’s not America! That’s not even Mexico!”

“I like my beer cold, my tv loud, and my homosexuals FAAA-LAMING!”

“Why if we didn’t have guns then the King of England himself could come here into your house and push you around. Would you want that, Lisa? Would you?”

My sig, prefaced by “Liiisa”,

“No beer and no tv make Homer something something.”

Jesus Allah Buddha, I love you all!

Sorry all, this is what I was thinking of.

can’t believe anyone hasn’t said it yet…

“mmmmm…Forbidden Donut…”


“God help me Marge, I’m just not very bright.”

Well, crying isn’t gonna bring him back, unless your tears smell like dog food. So you can either sit there crying and eating can after can of dog food until your tears smell enough like dog food to make your dog come back – or you can go out there and find your dog!

Rats. I almost had him eating dog food.

This donut has purple in the middle, purple is a fruit.

Son, when you participate in sporting events, it’s not whether you win or lose… it’s how drunk you get.

Operator! Give me the number for 911!

“Goin out Marge! if were not back avenge our deaths”

H: If i don’t make it through this operation alive, promise me one thing.
M: What?
H: Blow up the hospital (The way he says it is just priceless :slight_smile: )

“And no mis-directed “Woe-ing,” which is preety much any John Woo film”

“Then we figured out we could park them in front of the TV. That’s how I was raised, and I turned out TV.”

“Stupid sexy Flanders!”

“Just gimme’ some inner peace or I’ll mop the floor with you!”

“Homer no function beer well without.”