Not Lenny, not Lenny!
“My family has a greatness that can’t be seen by others. And if it’s not true greatness, we’re at least average.”
Johnny Q:
Bart: Mom, what if there’s a really bad crummy guy who’s going to jail but I know he’s innocent?
Marge: Well, Bart, your uncle Arthur used to have a saying: “Shoot 'em all and let God sort 'em out.” Unfortunately, one day put his theory into practice. It took 75 federal marshals to bring him down. Now let’s never speak of him again. [hums as she dusts]
Bart: Mom. …Mom. …Mom!
Marge: Huh?
Bart: What if I can get this guy off the hook? Should – should I do it?
Marge: Honey, you should listen to your heart, and not the voices in your head like a certain uncle did one grey December morn.
I also like:
“He went from stinking rich to just plain stinking!”
Bart, please don’t use the ‘touch of death’ on your sister.
Marge: (on seeing that Marge Flanders’ closet contains not one, not two but THREE pairs of shoes)
Someone has a fetish!
M: Bart NOOOOOO!
Bart: Mom, I’m right here.
M: Sorry, force of habit. LISA NOOOOO!
“I’d like to visit that Long Island place. If only it were real…” [After getting drunk off of Long Island Ice Teas]
“Music is none of my business.”
(From a Treehouse of Horror ep, I think after Bart and Lisa discover “Hugo” in the attic.)
“I am completely dissapointed and terrifed.”
Thought of two more good Marge moments:
After Maggie has found Mr. Burns’es “Bobo” bear, and the rest of the family argue about how much the reward should be:
“I’m SURE Mr. Burns will offer us a very nice reward…(pause)…And then we’ll tell him to double it!”
Surprised looks from the family
“Well I’m tired of being the nice guy in the family, I can be greedy too sometimes!”
From the Springfield prohibition episode, just after Homer has confessed to being the Springfield “beer baron”:
Marge: “Homer…(pause, as everyone expects a stern, chasting lecture from Marge)…that was clever! Very, very clever!”
Lisa: “Mom?!?”
Marge: Well it is, you’re father’s come up with some wild ideas in his time, but this is the cleverest idea he’s ever had!"
Scorpio episode: “I’m drinking a glass of wine a day! I know the doctor’s say you should drink one and half glasses but I just can’t drink that much!”
Homer (after Marge has told him that he has a problem with anger): I do not.
Marge: Sure you do. You’re punching the cat right now.
(Camera shows Homer’s face, then pulls back to reveal him holding Snowball II in his hand, and punching it with his other fist)
When she was trying to get over her fear of flying:
[running back and forth very quickly]
Lemme off! Lemme off! Lemme off! Lemme off!
Looking through bag from Quickie Mart with enema bag, porn, condoms etc.
“I don’t know what you have planned for this evening Homer, but you can count me out.”
(sorry, widly paraphrased from my fractured memory…but the gist is right)
M: Well if loving your kids is lame then I guess I’m just a big lame
Bart: Mom it’s lame to be proud of being lame
(or something like that)
“Fruit is nature’s candy!” (from a Treehouse of Horror episode, I believe.)
In a slow voice, as if she’s speaking to a child:
“Now Homer, don’t you eat this pie…”
Oh - thought of another one from the clip show where they’re telling old stories from their lives about love and Homer’s just finished telling the story about Mindy.
One of the kids: But what ever happened to Mindy?
Marge (angrily): Yes! What did happen to Mindy?
Homer: ‘Oh, she never got over it and became an alcoholic’ (or something to that effect…)
Marge: Hm - Good! 
I just need a little LSD: love for son and daughter.
I think this is from one of the future episodes, or at least one where they have a flash forward. Anyway, Homer is dead and at his funeral, Marge cries out,
“I wish they had never invented fried cheese!”
I had another good one, but it just slipped my mind. Hopefully it’ll come back.