Okay, I know she’s usually the “straight guy” and doesn’t get as many good zingers as Homer, but let’s give the little lady her due.
(Re: Troy McClure)
(Homer knocks over a statue of a doe with his car.)
L: “A deer!”
M: “A female deer!”
(On seeing Ren & Stimpy during a clips episode)
B: It’s not the same Mom, it’s old footage that’s spliced in with new material to make it seem new to our impressionable young minds."
L: “Ren & Stimpy” do it all the time!
M: Yes they do, and when is the last time you heard anyone talking about “Ren & Stimpy”?
(spoken on several occasions)
“I don’t know, Homey. <Stupid thing Homer’s about to do anyway> doesn’t sound like a good idea to me.”
and of course, “Hmmmmmmmmmmm!”
I’m a little unsure about this one, but it goes something like…
“My uncle Charlie had a saying. Shoot them all and let God sort them out. Unfortunately, one day he decided to put his theory into practice and it took 10 state patrolmen to bring him down. Now, let’s never speak of this again.”
Feel free to correct any inaccuracies.
Lobsang
October 24, 2003, 12:16am
5
Funny for it’s context. Homer does something very very unique and unlikely
DaPearl
October 24, 2003, 12:26am
6
“When my family had the option to come either to Springfield or Stenchberg they chose Springfield. You know why? Because they know Jebediah Springfield is an American hero, end of story.”
Manduck
October 24, 2003, 12:31am
7
Upon seeing Homer’s IOU to Patty and Selma projected onto the ceiling by a lamp:
“Homer! Is this projection accurate??”
Sketch
October 24, 2003, 12:53am
8
Girls Lisa, boys kiss girls.
“I’m not going to live in a house of evil just to save a few dollars!”
DaPearl
October 24, 2003, 1:14am
10
When Lisa suggests God could be a woman:
“Don’t listen to her Mr. Lord! She doesn’t mean it!”
“You’ve just been Marge-inalized!”
-after beating up a man who mugged her earlier in the episode
mobo85
October 24, 2003, 6:46pm
12
Although Marge is believed to be a great cook, she doesn’t seem to know as much about cooking as you think. Looking at a spice rack in a flea market:
“Eight spices? Some must be repeats…‘Oregan o…’ What the hell?”
Along the same lines…
“The secret ingredient is salt!”
Also… (paraphrasing)
M: “Lisa, people will tell you you can’t change a man. I say those women are quitters. When I met your father he was lazy and now he’s a changed man.”
L: “Um… Mom”
M: “He’s a changed man.”
gwendee
October 25, 2003, 4:44pm
15
(taking steaming bowl from microwve)
in the same scene Homer says “Ooh, I hate that icky soup skin.”
Elycien
October 25, 2003, 5:31pm
16
Marge gets mugged and ends up getting incredibly buffed up then enters a body building contest. Paraphrased.
Marge: Second place!! I didn’t give up my period for second place!!
Alias
October 25, 2003, 11:35pm
17
In “The Shinning”, when asked if Homer was going to come back and murder them all.
“We’re just going to have to wait and see. . .”
To ex-con Michael Keaton:
Dignan
October 26, 2003, 12:42am
19
After Lisa and the rest of the Springfield Elementary band are robbed by a rival band that used glow sticks there is an exchange that goes a little something like this:
Marge: (says something about the fair)
Lisa: You mean the state un fair.
Marge: Yes, Lisa. That’s what I mean. The state un fair. :rolleyes:
Bart: Zing!
“You can’t say ‘sex’ on the internet!”