“Vote For Dems! We Killed God and Babies, Not the Electric Car!”
Moving thread from IMHO to The BBQ Pit.
The problem is that a little reverse is precisely what is needed. A time machine back to 1997 would be super.
COMPETENCE
Let’s Give That a Try, for a Change.
Republicans lately have been “Goofy but lovable!” and democrats have been “Probably smarter than you.”
I think those would fit pretty nicely onto campaign pins.
“Who else you gonna vote for? The Green Party? Bwa ha ha ha ha!”
“Because even if we don’t do shit, you’ll still love the peace and quiet.”
This is spawned from my serious belief that if the upcoming government announced it’s plans to spend four years with it’s thumb way up it’s ass and watching TV, there’d be spontaneous festivals thrown on the streets. All they need to do is to do absolutely nothing, as long as there’s no fuck-ups.
“There isn’t much functional difference between us, but we don’t try as hard to make you feel bad.”
I think this is the best one.
[Bob Dole Voice] Where’s the OUTRAGE!?!?! [/Bob Dole Voice]
“Cut and Run” works for us!
Rebuilding a Shattered America
Our candidates are HUMAN!
We use 50% fewer hookers than any other major party.
Dems: We invented the “reach around”!
Dems: If you’ve got to take it up the ass, then why not take it from someone who supports gay marriage?
Dems: Blowjobs for everybody!
Dems: Come on, how bad could we be compared to Bush?
Dems: Really, what choice do you have?
Pubs: We’re nice guys!
Pubs: Bush who?
Pubs: Come on, baby, we can change! Trust us!
Pubs: Because we’re not rich enough!
Next time we’ll pay for the drycleaning.
Because this Clinton hasn’t had sex in years!
It’s Obama, not Osama.
Vote Edwards, Before His Whole Darn Family is Dead,
Regards,
Shodan
3000+ Americans Soilders Won’t Get the Chance to Vote in 2008
But You Will
“Who else are you going to vote for, that character actor?”
“Vote Republican, if you like to see absolutely everything in America fucked up.”
“2001-2008: That’s what happens when you empower a party that hates government.”
“Can you feel the compassion?”
" ‘Compassionate conservative’ just means that they use K-Y.’ "
“The GOP candidate: None of the above.”
“GOP Governance: Iraq, Katrina, Cheney, 9/11, anthrax, Abramoff, Gonzales, Foley, gay porn White House correspondents, Cunningham, DeLay, Doolittle, outing intel agents, Libby, Ney, heckuva job Brownie, Harriet Miers, secret wiretapping, […] and, oh yeah, Bush.”
Vote us in if you want change. And then we’ll just do the same crap anyway.
I don’t have a dog in this race, but I think a good basis for slogans would be something along the lines of:
“like government, only honest”
“Like politics, only responsible”
“Like a president, only coherent”
…
There’s the old Bill the Cat slogan:
“This time, why not the worst?”
I like this one the best. In my opinion, anyone who thinks different parties are actually different from each other are kidding themselves. The over-reaching mandate of any elected party is to get re-elected; any governing that happens along the way is incidental. And the elected fools aren’t the ones running the country, anyway. That would be your civil servants.
Sorry to be a wet blanket. Please, carry on with pretending that dems are different from pubs. 